What Lies Ahead
by DreaC
Summary: Renesmee Cullen has been fully matured for three years.  She begins to get curious as she sees that Bella, Edward, and Jacob are keeping secrets about their past from her.  How will she feel when she finds out their secret?
1. Chapter 1

**The setting is ten years after Breaking Dawn. Renesmee has been fully matured for three years.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

There we were once again in the face of danger. It was like déjà vu. This scene was just as it had been ten years ago. Everyone was fighting for me, but there would be more lost than gained if our victory wasn't 100 percent.

The setting was exactly the same except for the fact that I was fighting too. I had more to lose than they did, than he did. The one that caused this had nothing more than hope to lose. I had much more. I had a family, friends, and a soul mate that I could lose. Yes, the victory had to be 100 percent because I couldn't bear it any other way. There was no other way out, so we had to fight. I had to fight. I had to fight for my life, for my family, and most importantly I had to fight for him, the man that I loved

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 Confusion<br>Renesmee**

"Nessie, time for breakfast," my mom called, trying to wake me up. I laid in my bed thinking of how much this little bedroom had changed over the years. These walls had once been blue, purple, and then orange. Now they were white, mirroring those in my family's main house. It had gone through so many different stages. There was once a crib where my bed was now. There had been pony pictures on the walls at one time, and another time it had been filled with posters of the latest boy band that I was obsessed over. Now nothing hung from my walls. They were blank. They mirrored my life, a blank slate. I was fully matured and ready to start this new stage of my life.

"Nessie," she called once more, her voice filling with worry. When I didn't respond, I heard my mom's footsteps on her way to my room. I also heard a howl from outside my window. It was Jacob. He was probably worried that something was wrong. He stayed outside my window at night, protecting me from any harm that could possibly come my way. He and my dad were always so overprotective.

"I'm coming, Mom. I'll be there in a minute," I called, reassuring her that I was fine.

I went over to the window, and just as I suspected, Jacob was there. His worrying eyes were assessing my face to make sure I was alright. I opened the window and let my fingers run through his fur. "I'm okay," I whispered. "I didn't want to get up just yet."

I didn't truly understand the relationship Jacob and I had. He'd always been there for me. Jacob had been like a big brother to me over the years, and now he was like my best friend. He was always there for me. He watched out for me and made sure I was safe. Jacob was like my personal ray of sunshine. When he was around I was instantly happy.

I smiled as I thought of the time that I wanted a pony and a play house. I didn't want just any play house, I wanted an actual house. My dad was willing to build me one near the cottage, but Mom wouldn't allow it. She would never allow me to live as lavishly as the rest of the family did. This always devastated me, and Jacob had always been there to pick up the pieces. He convinced me that his house was small enough to be considered a play house. I laughed uncontrollably when he pretended to be hurt as he asked, "Why do you need a horse when you have me?" Somehow he was always able to solve all of my problems. I didn't know what it was about him, but I felt tied to him.

As droplets of rain splattered against my cheek, I smiled at him. "Are you coming in for breakfast?" He barked once and nodded his head.  
>I closed the window and made my way to the kitchen. On my way there I smelled eggs. Eggs were my favorite. My mom and dad seemed to share some kind of private joke about it. Every time they saw me eating eggs, they shared an unusual glance between one another. It was the kind of look that made me question whether or not I wanted to know what the joke was. This glance always reminded me of how little I knew of their lives before I was born and how evasive they were when I asked them about their past.<p>

"Nessie, what took you so long? I know you heard me. Your eggs are going to get cold." My mom broke me from my reverie. She assessed me with worried eyes. As she saw that I was fine, she relaxed.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I just didn't want to get up yet. You know some of us do have to sleep around here." I laughed.

I went to the door to open it for Jacob. Even though he didn't knock, I heard his approach. As I opened the door I saw the huge smile that he always had when I was around him. His smile warmed me inside, and everything felt complete when he arrived. I threw my arms around him as he hugged me tight. "Good morning, Jacob!"

Morning, Nessie." He smiled still hugging me as his eyes filled with adoration and happiness. I heard my dad clear his throat behind us.

I giggled. "It's not like that Dad, jeez. Jake is my best friend. Right, Jake?" I stepped back so that I could get a good look at his face.

"Right, Nessie. You're my best friend. It's not like that with us, Edward." His voice sounded strained, and his face was completely void of emotion. I looked at my dad to see if there was something going on, but his face showed no sign of alarm.

"What is it, Jake? What's wrong?" I asked, trying to figure out his sudden change.

"It's nothing, Nessie. Everything is great." He seemed to force a smile. "Eggs are getting cold, we should go eat."

I quickly ate my breakfast, trying not to think of the sudden change in Jake's mood. In this family not even your thoughts were safe with my dad around. He could read minds, everyone's except my mother's. She had some kind of shield that kept him out of her thoughts. If only I could be that lucky. My dad chuckled.

"What's funny, Edward?" Mom asked him.

"Nessie wishes she had your shield, so that I couldn't hear her thoughts," he told her. Mom laughed too.

Once I finished my eggs, I looked at Jake, who had been very quiet throughout breakfast. That was a first. He normally had tons of things to talk about. The things he talked about normally centered on the pack, anything happening in La Push, or the cars he worked on in the garage when he couldn't be with me.

"Are you ready to go? You promised I could spend all day in La Push with you."

Before Jake could answer, Dad let out a growl under his breath. I didn't understand it. When I was younger my dad and Jake's relationship had been great. I thought that they were friends, but as I got older Dad grew stricter and more cautious of how much time alone I spent with Jacob. It was as if their whole camaraderie had changed. He had gradually turned from almost friendly toward Jake to menacing.

For a moment I studied the room around me. Nothing about the room itself had changed; only the people that inhabited it had. Mom flittered around cleaning the already spotless kitchen. Dad seemed to be studying Jake with much more concentration than necessary. Jake seemed to be oblivious to anything going on around him as he continued to stuff his face. Although the silence lasted for only a few seconds, it became deafening. I groaned.

"Dad, it's not like that. How many times do I have to tell you? I'm perfectly safe in La Push. Jake would never let anything happen to me." Jake never said a word; he refilled his plate with more eggs.

When Jake was finally able to tear himself away from breakfast, we walked outside toward his car. "Thanks a lot for defending yourself in there, Jake," I said sarcastically. "All three of you were acting weird. Do you three have something that you aren't telling me?"

He smiled half-heartedly, his eyes troubled, "What are you talking about, Nessie?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but I decided against it. He seemed so distant and deep in thought. Jake was not himself. Something was wrong. Once I got to La Push, and safely out of my dad's hearing range, I intended to find out exactly what it was.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think ;)<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter 2: Imprinting**

The car ride was a very silent one. I sat listening to the wind as we made our way to La Push, slower than usual. I started to wonder what it could be, why Jake was acting so distant. He had never been this distracted when he was in my presence. We had always been great together, always having fun and joking around. It was so easy being around Jake, there was nothing that we couldn't talk about...well, I guess until now. There was something that he didn't want me to know.

When we got to his house, we went straight to his garage. This place became my home away from home over the years. To an outsider, this little garage would look like a few sheds bolted together, but to me every part of it was beautiful. The multicolored sheds gave the place character. It didn't look like an average garage to me. In my eyes, it was like a work of art, built by my artist with his precise hands and skilled handy work.

I sat in his Volkswagen Rabbit as he worked on it. He had built it a little over ten years ago, and occasionally it needed some work. I loved this place. I felt like this makeshift garage was mine and Jacob's. I sat there watching him work in silence, which again was not usual for me and Jacob. He normally chatted away while he worked.

I couldn't take the silence any more. "Jake, what's wrong? You haven't said a word to me since this morning at breakfast." I tried to look into his eyes, but he continued to work under the hood of his car.

"Nothing's wrong, Nessie, everything's fine." Jacob was a good liar, way better than me, but I knew something was wrong. I knew that he wasn't telling me the truth. I got out of the car and went over to him, lifting his chin so that I could see his face.

"Jake," I sighed, "you know you can tell me anything. You're my best friend. You've always been there for me. Now it's my turn, give me a chance to help you. What's going on?" I asked, looking into his eyes. He tried to look away. "Jacob, please. I need to know what's wrong; I want to make it better. Just tell me, please."

He took a deep breath and looked into my eyes. "I don't know where to start, Nessie," he said as he caressed my cheek. That was something he'd never done before.

I swallowed hard, not totally understanding the gesture or why he was suddenly looking at me like he was about to reveal the depths of his soul. His gaze never left my face; I blushed and tried to look away. He caught my chin between his fingers and turned my face back to his. "What is it, Jake? Just tell me." I could only whisper the words.

"Nessie, I don't know how much your parents told you about the day you were born..." He stopped, contemplating how to go on.

"They actually haven't told me anything, just that my birth was complicated, and that's the day Mom became a vampire. They don't really talk about it. They share an awkward glance and change the subject when I bring it up." He still didn't say anything. "Jake, what's my birth have to do with what's going on with you? What does it have to do with this morning?" I placed my palm on his cheek to show him the memory of this morning.

"Nessie, the day you were born, the day that I first laid eyes on you, I knew that I loved you." He stopped to assess my face.

"I love you too, Jake." I smiled, still confused.

"No, Nessie, I love you. Not just as a best friend, but more. See, wolves find their soul mates by this thing called imprinting. It's weird, but when you see the person you're supposed to be with it's like gravity no longer holds you on earth, that person does. You become whatever that person needs; your purpose in life is only to make that person happy. The day that you were born, I saw you in Rosalie's arms and you were the one. Gravity lost its hold on me. Suddenly you were the one holding me on this earth. I love you, Nessie, and I've waited ten years to tell you this." His eyes were serious, watching, waiting for my reaction.

I couldn't speak; I didn't know what to say. Jacob, my best friend Jacob, was in love with me. He loved me, he always has loved me. I started remembering all the time I'd spent with him, and it was always there, that look in his eyes, the concern he felt when he thought I wasn't happy. When I couldn't have my way with my parents and I cried, I could remember the pain in his eyes. It was as if my pain was his pain. I guess I always knew it; Jacob was more than just my best friend. I just didn't understand it back then, but now, now that I could understand it, I knew that Jacob had always belonged to me.

"Nessie...Renesmee? What are you thinking?" he asked, looking concerned. I couldn't speak, so I put my hand on his cheek and showed him all the memories that I had of him, now realizing that all this time he loved me.

I took my hand away from his cheek and I stared into his eyes. "Jacob..." was all I managed to whisper. I was so overwhelmed by my feelings for him. It was as if I was seeing him in a new light. Jacob's dark eyes were glistening with a look that I had often mistaken for just adoration, but there was more behind it. His eyes revealed the love that he felt for me.

His hand caressed my cheek once more, his dark eyes burning into mine. He lowered his head, and his lips touched mine. Jake's lips were soft, and the kiss was sweet. I stood on my tiptoes and put my arms around his neck; he slid his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to his warm body. This was my first kiss and it was perfect. It was in a place that I loved, with the guy that I loved.

That moment was when I realized that I was in love with Jacob Black. He was my best friend, my protector, and the man of my dreams. As I pulled back to catch my breath, I looked into his eyes. "I love you, Jacob Black."

His smile was wider and brighter than ever before. "I love you, Renesmee Carlie Cullen."

He kissed me once more, and my cell phone vibrated. I looked at it and groaned.

"It's Dad."

"Nessie, Where are you? You know you have a curfew!" he yelled.

I looked out of the little garage and realized it was dark. Time passed quickly when I was with Jacob. And kissing Jacob made me forget where I was; the only thing I knew in that moment was that he loved me and I loved him. "Sorry, Dad. I guess we lost track of time."

"Well tell Jacob to bring you home. NOW, Nessie." I knew that was the end of this perfect night. When Dad got like this there was no changing his mind.

"Okay, Dad, I'll see you in a few minutes." I closed the phone and looked at Jake.

"Dad said that I need to come home now," I said, letting disappointment fill my voice.

"Okay, let's get you back." Jake smiled and leaned in to kiss me once more.

We got into the car and started on our way back to my house. As Jake drove, I thought about the day and how great it had turned out to be. Then I thought of how my dad had interrupted my perfect night. Dad...what were we going to tell him? He would try to kill Jake if he knew that our relationship had progressed into more than just friendship. If he saw us kissing in either of our minds, he would flip. He would never let me be anywhere alone with Jacob again. I would never be allowed to come back to our place, the garage.

"Jake...what are we going to do about Dad? If he sees it in our minds, I'll never be able to see you again." I looked at him, worried that if that happened it might hurt him more than it hurt me.

"Don't worry, we'll just think about other things. Think about this morning, pretend that I never told you what was wrong with me. And I will just think of what I was thinking of this morning. Edward's used to me thinking of you, so there's no reason for him to suspect anything." He smiled, taking one hand off the wheel to hold my hand. "Everything will be fine. We'll tell them when you're ready." He slowed the car down to a crawl and leaned over to kiss me quickly. "Start thinking of other things now, we don't want to slip." He smiled and sped up, paying extra attention to the road.

When we got back to the house, I was already thinking about how Jake reacted this morning, and what the reason for that could have been, even though I already knew. We walked into the house and Dad looked furious. He was pacing back and forth.

"Dad, Mom, I'm sorry I'm late. We lost track of time, I guess. We were in the garage, and you know how much I love cars, and how interesting it is watching Jake fix them up," I babbled, hoping that he wouldn't yell at me - or Jacob for that matter.

"Renesmee, you know that you have a curfew! You know I get worried, Alice can't see you or Jacob, so we have no way to make sure you're safe when you miss curfew like that. But I don't blame you, I blame Jacob. He's supposed to be the responsible one here." He turned toward Jacob, with nothing but anger in his eyes.

"Dad, I'm not a child, this is just as much my fault as it is Jacob's," I argued, but I knew all too well the next sentence that would come out of his mouth.

"Renesmee, you are 10 years old! You are still a child." He turned back to me.

"No, Dad, I'm ten in years but I don't look or act like a child. I look almost the same age as you do. I may have only been born 10 years ago, but my body and brain say differently," I countered, but that made no difference to him. My dad was just as stubborn as I was. Mom said I got that from him.

He smiled at my thought and seemed to calm down. "Nessie, don't let it happen again. If it does you won't be able to see Jacob for a long time."

I saw the small change in emotion on Jacob's face before he composed himself. The look was one of pure agony. I kept my thoughts off of that small change. "Fine, Dad, it won't happen again," I mumbled.

He turned to Jacob. "Jacob, don't let it happen again. Get her here on time, or you won't see her again...I don't care about that, don't let it happen again or you won't get to see her." Jacob must have thought something that Dad didn't like. I wondered what it was.

"Renesmee, it's bed time for you. Go to your room." This time it was my mom that spoke. "Say goodbye to Jacob and get to your room."

"Aww, Mom, can't Jake stay a little while longer?" I whined.

Mom gave Jacob a sharp look. "Actually, Nessie, I better get going. I have to run with Quil and Embry tonight. I'll see you tomorrow?"

My face fell a little. "Okay." I walked over to the door and gave him a hug, like I had this morning, and he kissed my forehead like he did every night. I always felt a slight pain when I had to say goodbye to Jacob. I felt the warmth that I always had in his presence drain from my body and all my happiness dwindle. It was as if my personal sun was setting and being replaced with the lonely darkness that always threatened to swallow me whole without Jacob near.

"Night, Nessie, sweet dreams."

I looked down, still a little disappointed. "Night, Jake."

I went to my room and opened my window. I knew he would be there, I just didn't know if he'd be in wolf form or human form. I hoped that he would be human so that I could get a proper kiss goodnight. I also hoped that my dad was preoccupied, so he wouldn't be paying any attention to my thoughts. Just as I'd hoped, he was there, waiting at my window, in his human form. A smile brightened his face as I opened my window. "Nessie, you're gonna give Edward a heart attack, well, if that were possible." He laughed.

"I know but he doesn't need to worry about me so much, I'm not a little kid. Not seeing you again would devastate me, and I know it would devastate you too." I put my hand on his cheek, showing him the image of agony that rearranged his features at the thought of not seeing me.

He caressed my cheek and my skin tingled under his touch. His eyes were serious as they burned into mine and he whispered, "Nessie Cullen, I love you, and I can't go a day without you." He leaned in and kissed me again.

The butterflies in my stomach went wild when he said those words. "I love you too, Jacob Black. I can't go a day without you either." I sighed. Oh how I wished that he didn't have to go. I knew that he had responsibilities and that he couldn't stay by my side forever. "Go run with Quil and Embry, and tell them I said hi." He kissed my forehead again, my nose, and my lips, and then he was gone. I closed my window, went to bed, and sank into unconsciousness knowing that when I woke up he would be there at my window, protecting me, and waiting for me to wake up to start a new day with him.

**Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: Secrets<strong>

The days and weeks seemed to pass pretty fast when I was with Jacob. We spent countless days in La Push. We hung out with his dad, Billy, quite a bit. Sometimes when I was there we would have lunch at Emily and Sam's house with his pack brothers. Like Jacob, most of them had found their soul mates too. Emily and Sam were perfect for each other, they had been married since before I was born; the way they looked at each other made me think of my mom and dad. Jared and Kim got married about five years ago.

Paul imprinted on Jake's sister Rachel, he wasn't too happy about it at first, but he got over it. They got married last year. And finally Quil and Claire, they reminded me so much of me and Jacob. The reason is that Quil imprinted on Claire when she was only 2 years old. Now she's 13, Quil has been there for her all her life, like Jacob has for me.

The difference is that Quil is still waiting for Claire; he had a few more years before they could have the same connection that the rest of us have. Good thing the wolves didn't age. Being in La Push was easy, Jake and I didn't have to hide the way we felt about each other here. We often walked along First Beach holding hands, watching the sunset, or sitting on an old drift wood tree just talking.

As I sat in Jake's lap with his arms encasing me, I gazed up at the sky. "Jake, next to the garage this place is perfect. Especially on a night like tonight, it's beautiful." It was one of those rare nights that there was no rain and the sky was clear. The stars shining brightly in the dark sky gave the beach a romantic atmosphere, and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore was peaceful.

"You've probably brought a lot of girls here," I said jokingly. He snorted. "Only Bella." That peaked my interest. I knew that he and Mom were close back then, but I wondered what exactly their relationship entailed.

"Jake?" My voice got an octave higher as I called his name, in hopes that I was going to get a glimpse into his past.

"Hmm?" he responded.

"How close were you and my mom?" That was just one of the many questions I wanted to ask about their lives before I was born.

Trying to find out what their lives were like always seemed like an unsolved mystery case, because I always ended up with nothing. He didn't answer right away. He seemed to think about his response first. When he finally did answer, his statement was brief with no elaboration.

"Bella was my best friend." I could tell that he was hiding something because his mouth always formed into a hard line when he was telling half truths, and his voice would change to a slightly higher pitch.

To someone else these small things would have gone unnoticed, but I knew Jacob as well as I knew myself, and I could pick up on the differences in his voice better than any voice analyzing software could.

"Jake? Is that all? You sound sorta funny...like there's more to it than that."

Jake seemed composed when he answered this time. "I love your mother; she's like a sister to me. Well now she's going to be like a mother-in-law to me, wow, I bet she's going to freak when she realizes that." He laughed and kissed me.

I forgot whatever argument I had for him, any questions about the past were all forgotten when he kissed me. My eyes fluttered closed, and I savored the moment. I melted my body to his, concentrating only on his lips on mine and remembering to occasionally break away to catch my breath. We went back to the garage, Jake turned on an old radio, and we slow danced. My head was against his chest listening to the steady beat of his heart.

I didn't know what song was playing on the radio, because Jake's heart beat was all the music I needed. Even when the music stopped we swayed in small circles around the garage. The world seemed to disappear as we danced. No one else existed, just Jake and I. I was soon brought back down to reality as my cell phone vibrated.

"Probably Dad again," I groaned. But it wasn't, it was Aunt Alice. "Aunt Alice...What's wrong?"

"Nessie, you better get home soon!" she urged. "You know I can't see you and Jacob, but I can see your Dad...and he's deciding that you can't see Jacob anymore. I'm just looking out for you and Jake. I know you two are best friends, and Jake won't like it if he can't see you." Jacob was on alert, looking for any signs of trouble.

"Alice called? What's going on?" He knew that if Aunt Alice called this late something must be horribly wrong. "Calm down, it's serious but not that serious. Aunt Alice saw Dad making a decision to never let you see me again if we don't get home before curfew."

"Not that serious? Nessie, do you know how much you mean to me? That would be the same as me losing you forever." He caressed my cheek like he did the first night we kissed, but this time his hand trailed down my neck to my collar bone, and his lips followed the trail that his hand made. I could barely speak. For a moment my mind was full of incoherency. When his lips finally left my skin, I was able to form a complete sentence.

"Jake, we better go if you want to be able to kiss me like that again." Jake kissed me once more as we got into the car and made our way home.

Jake drove too fast trying to get me back home before my curfew. We made it with a minute to spare.

As we pulled into the familiar garage, I whispered, "Back to reality."

I hated this part; this was when we had to keep our secret. We had to pretend that we were just friends, like we'd always been.

Keeping secrets from my dad was anything but easy. I had to constantly think of other things to keep my mind off of Jacob, and the level of difficulty in that task was very high. He was all I ever thought about. And worst than that, at night I had to be away from him. We would spend as many hours as we could during the day together, preferably in La Push, where we could be together without all the secrets. I ran into the house, Jacob not far behind me. I smiled, a little bit smug that we made it home a minute before my curfew.

"Hi, Mom, Dad. I'm here."

I looked at the clock almost daring him to say I missed curfew.

"Young lady, you really should watch you're thoughts. Do you want to be grounded?" He raised an eyebrow, with a smirk on his face.

He looked as if he were searching for just one reason to keep me away from Jacob. What was with him these days? Jeez, why was he always so skeptical of Jake? Jake would never do anything to hurt me and Dad knew it. Why all this harshness towards him? Hadn't they been friends once? Well I guess I wouldn't really know since no one ever told me anything about the past. I wondered why that was such a secret. Had something really horrible happen between Dad and Jake? I'd have to ask...

"Young lady, your thoughts are going to get you into trouble," he spoke through his teeth. I must have hit a nerve with something I'd thought. What could it have been and what was with all the secrecy? "Renesmee, that's enough. Say good night to Jacob and go to your room."

"Um Dad, actually I was hoping I could go stay with Aunt Alice tonight?" I asked, hoping to get out of here and give my Dad time to cool off. He didn't look like he was going to agree, my thoughts really must have hit a nerve...

"Renesmee, I said go to your..."

"That's fine, honey, but ask Alice if it's ok first," Mom said looking at Dad questioningly. This whole thing was confusing, everyone was keeping a secret, Mom, Dad, even Jacob. I looked over at him and he seemed slightly uneasy. Since when was he uneasy in my parent's cottage? It was like a second home to him. What was it that they didn't want me to know?

"Renesmee, leave well enough alone. The past is the past. End of Story," Dad said with a note of finality, and I knew I'd better leave or I could say goodbye to Jacob forever.

"Fine, I'm going to see Aunt Alice. Come on, Jacob." I grabbed Jake by the hand so that he would follow me out the door.

Dad yelled after us, "Jacob, I better not catch you in that house tonight. When she says goodnight, you leave, and you will say goodnight to him within the next 30 minutes, Nessie. And I will notify Rose."

Wow, Dad had taken overprotective to another level. He had never acted this way before, and I didn't know what caused his actions. I looked at Jake, who hadn't said a word the whole time we were there.

"Wow, I wonder what's wrong with him tonight. We made curfew." "It could have been something, I thought." Jake smiled innocently.

"Jake! What were you thinking?"

"Well, I was thinking about a paint job for the Rabbit, but I looked at you and started having some very improper thoughts. That must have really ticked him off."

"Jake!" I hit him. Even though I knew it didn't hurt him, he still acted like it did.

"Well, it didn't help that you were thinking something that really set him off. What were you thinking about? It wasn't me was it? I thought you wanted to wait a while," Jacob said.

"No, Jake, it wasn't about you...well it sort of was. I was wondering why he didn't like you much. I mean I thought that before I was born you and Dad were friends." Jake chuckled.

"Your dad and I have never been friends. Allies, yes, friends, never. We've always had...well it didn't help that I imprinted on his daughter."

It sounded like he was editing his words again. "Jake, why is it that every time I want to know something about the past everyone always seems so guarded? I want to know everything about you, and Mom and Dad. Yet no one tells me. Is the past so bad that no one wants me to know about it? I mean..."

We were in the garage of the main house now. Jacob put his finger to my lips and then he started to kiss me. He knew all to well that I would forget what I was saying, forget the argument I just had with Dad, and sometimes even forget my name. We both were so wrapped up in the moment that we didn't hear Uncle Jasper's approach.

He cleared his throat. Instantly, Jacob and I froze. Our perfectly kept secret had been found out. Oh man, how much trouble would I be in now? I turned around to look at Uncle Jasper, and the happiness I felt a second ago instantly turned into fear.

Uncle Jasper sensed my fear and said, "Nessie, calm down." I could feel Uncle Jasper's powers taking effect, as calmness flowed over me in waves. "Uncle Jasper, pleeeaasse don't tell my dad, please," I begged. "Jake loves me..."

Uncle Jasper let out a growl, as he glared at Jacob. "And I love Jacob..." He didn't let me finish.

"Nessie, get in the house, Jacob, please leave. I'm being polite right now. I can't promise I'll be this pleasant in ten seconds."

I turned to Jake and gave him a quick hug, "Bye, Jake, I'll see you tomorrow...I hope."

Jake glared at Jasper once more, and then he kissed my forehead. "Bye, Nessie."

He ran into the forest and I didn't have to see him to know that he'd changed into his wolf form. He always ran patrols at night.

"Now, Nessie, do you want to explain to me what I just walked in on?" Instead of speaking I put my hand to his cheek and showed him. I showed him the first time I realized I was in love with Jake, our first kiss, and all the other times I've spent with Jake. I left out all the making out and other things that Uncles didn't need to see their nieces doing. I knew that more than anyone else, Uncle Jasper would understand.

He could feel the love I felt for Jake and know that I needed him more than anything else in the world, he would feel the fear I had of my dad finding out, and he could also feel the agony I felt for possibly never seeing Jake again. Uncle Jasper could feel just how deeply my love for Jacob ran, and he would have to accept it.

"Nessie, your secret's safe with me," he said quietly, as he hugged me and we walked into the house. As soon as we were inside, Aunt Rose came over to hug me. She wrinkled her nose.

"Nessie, you smell like dog. You've got to get some friends that smell better."

"Aunt Rose," I sighed. Then I saw Aunt Alice and I remembered the reason I came over in the first place.

"Aunt Alice!" I went over and hugged her, "Thank you so much for the heads up. I don't know what I'd do without you and Uncle Jasper."

Aunt Alice's beautiful face scrunched in confusion. "Jasper? What did he do? He didn't even know that I was going to call you."

She looked at Uncle Jasper and he couldn't hide things from her, when it came to Aunt Alice he always gave her what she wanted. But instead of letting him tell her, like I knew he would, I put my hand on her face and replayed for her what happened in the garage. Her mouth fell open and formed a tiny O.

"Oh, Nessie!" she gasped. "Edward..."

"Doesn't have to know about it," I interrupted. "Please, Aunt Alice. You called to warn me before. I know you know how much he means to me. If you didn't you wouldn't have called me. Please let this secret be mine, Jacob's, yours, and Uncle Jasper's. Please," I begged.

"Okay, Nessie. Okay. I won't tell him, or think about it in Edward's case. And it's a good thing I can't see you or Jacob, because he would know by now."

I sighed with relief. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have to ask one more favor though."

"What is it now? I'm already keeping secrets from Edward and you know when he finds out I knew he's going to bite my head off."

"Can I stay over here tonight? Dad and I sort of got into an argument, and my thoughts aren't even safe over there."

"Fine, but the dog stays outside. I don't need Edward finding out that I let him sleep over too." Aunt Alice smiled.

That night I slept in my dad's room. I sat with my head in my hands thinking about how everyone seemed to act weirdly when I asked about the past. What could that mean? Was there something that they were protecting me from? Would I ever find out? And if I did, would I like what I heard? Or would I wish I had never heard it?

"Nessie, is there something wrong?" Aunt Alice came over to comfort me.

"No, I'm fine. It's just that my parents and Jacob are keeping secrets from me. Do you know what they are hiding? They won't even discuss the day I was born. All I could get out of Jacob was that that was the day he imprinted." She seemed conflicted as she answered.

"Nessie, there are some things that are too complicated to talk about. And life before you was definitely complicated for Edward, Bella, and Jacob. Even the day of your birth was complicated for them...well until Jacob saw you, then everything was back to the way it should be."

I was confused. What was so complicated? I thought Mom and Jacob were friends. And what had Jacob said about him and Dad? They were never friends, but why? What prevented them from being friends? Wouldn't it make sense that Mom's best friend be Dad's friend too? And why would that change when Jacob saw me?

"I don't understand." I looked at her hoping that she would explain.

"Nessie, it would be best if you just left it alone. Obviously it's something your parents and Jacob don't want you to know about."

She patted the top of my head, "Now get some sleep." I knew I had to stop obsessing over the past because thinking of the past seemed to get me in as much trouble as thinking of Jacob would. So I decided not to think about it anymore tonight. I let sleep take over and my mind wander to thoughts of Jacob. I smiled and sighed in my sleep.

"My Jacob." I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not but I could have sworn I heard a wolf howl outside after I said it.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think ;)<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: Close Calls<strong>

When I woke up that morning, Jacob wasn't outside waiting for me. I thought that was odd. I walked over to my parent's cottage for breakfast. When I was in hearing range, I heard low whispers. Mom, Dad, and Jacob were talking.

"Edward, she wants to know. I think she has a right to know our history," I heard Mom say.

"It could upset her, Bella. I don't want anything to upset her. She's our little girl." I could almost see the concern on his face.

"I don't know what she would think of me, if she heard the whole story...I don't want to lose her. That would kill me." Jacob's voice broke at the end.

Dad's voice turned harsh. "Maybe, I should tell her, dog."

"Edward! How could you say that? You know how Jacob feels about our daughter," Mom tried to reason.

"Yea, I know all to well what he thinks about our daughter, and I know that he is lying to you, Bella, when he says 'it's not like that with us, we're just friends'." I'd never heard my Dad sound so harsh. What is it with him and Jake?

"You knew this would happen one day, it's not like you didn't know this would be coming. She's my soul mate." The love Jacob felt for me was evident as he spoke.

"Yea, a soul mate that you're keeping a secret from. I wonder how she would feel if she knew what you thought of her before she was -"

"EDWARD!" Mom yelled. I'd never heard her yell at my father in my entire life. What was all this about?

"Nessie!" I guess Dad heard my thoughts. "You thought right young lady! In the house NOW!"

I shuffled into the house, slower than normal. I wanted to pretend like I hadn't heard what they said, but I couldn't pretend. Dad knew I heard them. I walked into the house and looked at my mom, then I looked at Jake. He was furious, furious at my dad, and furious that I'd over heard part of the conversation. His hands were shaking. I couldn't stand to speak to any of them right now. I didn't truly understand what exactly any of the conversation meant, but I knew that they were hiding something from me - and they didn't plan on telling me what it was. I didn't go into the kitchen where they were gathered, I didn't say anything to them, I just went to my room. I heard Jacob behind me. "Nessie, Nessie, let me explain."

I turned around with lightening speed. "Explain what, Jacob? You're not going to tell me what you were talking about in there so just save it!" As I said the words, I saw agony play out across his face because he caused me pain. I sat on my bed and decided that I didn't want to see Jake in pain anymore than he wanted to see me in pain. "Jake." I sighed. "There is something you three are keeping from me and I need to know what it is!"

"Renesmee, we don't want to hurt you, and the past has hurt all of us. We want to save you from that pain. Can't you just look to the present? Ignore the past? The past, my past, it doesn't change how I feel about you. Everything that happened then led me to you."

I was still not satisfied with this answer but I decided to let it go for now. I'd try again later. I could hear that my mom and dad had left the house, I guess giving Jake and I time to work things out. I ran my fingers through his hair. "Jake, can we go to La Push?" La Push would get Jake away from my dad and possibly get me the answers that I wanted.

He was shocked by the sudden change in my mood. He gave a smile that would brighten the darkest sky. "Of course we can." He leaned in to give me a kiss. We heard our parents approach and quickly adjusted our positions so that we were hugging instead. That was close, I thought to myself. Jake looked at me again, I guess making sure my mood was still the same. "You better go ask your parents if you can go to La Push today."

I groaned, not wanting to talk to them and feeling a bit embarrassed that even as a fully matured hybrid, I still had to ask my parents' permission to leave the house. He saw my reluctance and gave me a gentle push out of my room.

When I got back to the kitchen where my parents were, I saw that nothing had changed. Mom still looked a little furious at Dad. He looked furious at me, and of course I was still a little ticked at them all. "Dad, can I ..."

"What was close?" Oops, I guess he heard that thought.

"Today... with you three. I was so close to actually hearing this big secret you three are keeping from me," I lied, trying to keep my thoughts on that moment so that he would believe me.

"Renesmee, you are a terrible liar, just like your mother. But you're doing a good job of keeping your thoughts off of what you're lying about though. You probably learned that from Jacob." He eyed Jake with suspicion.

"Dad! Can I go to La Push with Jake or not? I know you heard that in my thoughts."

"Go, but be back before sun down, Alice wants to take you shopping," Dad informed me.

I perked up a little; I loved shopping with Aunt Alice. She was so fashionable, and she always knew what styles were in and what styles weren't going to last. Well, being psychic might have something to do with that. Shopping wasn't all about the latest trends with Aunt Alice though. It represented something more; it kept her in touch with the humanity that she never knew, and it also served as a way of bonding with her shopping companions. Not many people would believe that there had been some very profound advice given on these shopping trips. Dad is mostly the subject of complaint on these trips. It is because of Aunt Alice that I abide by his silly rules to constantly report my location and to ask permission to leave the house.

I grabbed Jake's hand and raced out the door before my dad could say anything else. I gave Jake the silent treatment all the way to La Push. When we were in the garage, Jake started to pace back and forth. I watched in silence as he walked around the small garage, seeming to contemplate something. I was about to speak when he turned and looked at me.

"Nessie, I'm sorry."

I was confused, sorry for what? "Sorry for what, Jake?"

He came over to me and put his hands on both sides of my face, gazing into my eyes. "Sorry that I have to hide something from you, sorry that there's a part of my life that could possibly hurt you if you found out. Sorry that I'm too selfish to tell you about it because I'm afraid if I do it's going to hurt you and I'm going to lose you." When he was done, he looked into my eyes, seeming to search for some emotion.

I tried to pull away from his gaze. "Jake, I want to know. I want to know why, I want to know what the big secret is. I mean I know you and my mom were best friends, I know that for some reason you and Dad weren't friends, and I know that the day of my birth something wasn't right. I want to know what it is, Jake. NOW!" I was furious again. None of this made sense to me. Dad's words were in my head... a soul mate that you're keeping a secret from. I wonder how she would feel if she knew what you thought of her before she was... before I was what? Did Jake ever think less of me than he does now? I just didn't know what all of this meant.

But as always, Jake ignored me. "Nessie, Dad needs my help getting something, you want to go inside?"

"Sure," I mumbled, still annoyed that there was something he wasn't telling me. We walked inside, and I saw Billy in the kitchen. "Hi, Billy."

"Hey, Nessie." His face always lit up like Jake's when he saw me, but he could tell something was wrong. His face instantly turned from happy to concerned. He opened his mouth to ask me what was wrong.

Before he could say anything I mumbled, "Jake, I'm gonna go hang out in your room." Not waiting for an answer, I walked to Jake's tiny room, to lie down in his bed. I couldn't believe they were hiding things from me...to protect me? These things could possibly hurt me if I found out? Aunt Alice had said it would be best if you just left it alone. Maybe I should take her advice. This, what ever it was, could possibly cause me to lose Jacob? Jake had said I don't know what she would think of me, if she heard the whole story...I don't want to lose her. My thoughts were interrupted by Jake's approach. I didn't look up to see him, I just stared at the ceiling.

He came and sat on the bed beside me. He caressed my cheek. "Have I ever told you how beautiful you look lying in my bed?"

I smiled still not looking at him. "Well since we spend most of our time in the garage, I'd have to say no you haven't told me that." I could feel him staring at me, so I looked at him. As I was staring into his eyes I realized then that what ever this secret was that he was keeping, he was keeping it because he wanted to protect me from the pain. What ever this secret was, it wasn't worth losing him over. And I had him here with me now, no parents, no mind reading, why waste this time? I sat up and kissed him. He kissed me back and it wasn't the sweet kisses we often shared, this one was different. It had more passion, more urgency; it was like nothing I'd ever felt before. My body reacted in a way that it never had before. All of a sudden it was like I was burning. My whole body burned for Jacob. I wanted him, I really wanted him. We only stopped kissing to catch our breath, but even then Jake's lips never left my body. He would kiss my neck, while I caught my breath, then it was back to my lips again. Then just like every time I was with Jake, my phone vibrated. Jake groaned and rolled over on to his back. I was still in awe of these new feelings I was experiencing. I looked at the screen and it was Aunt Alice. "Aunt Alice," My voice broke, and I took two deep breaths to calm myself. "What is it?"

"Nessie! Did you forget about our shopping trip?" I could almost see the anger on her face.

"Shopping trip?" I was still disoriented from a few seconds ago with Jake. I didn't know how I'd forgotten shopping with Aunt Alice. I had even forgotten that Billy was in the house. I wasn't aware of any of the sights and sounds around me, just Jacob, and his lips, and the burning I felt for him.

"Nessie, I swear, you get more and more like your mother everyday! Now tell Jacob to bring you back so we can go."

"Okay, we're on our way," I said without an ounce of enthusiasm. I looked over at Jake, who was looking at the ceiling. "Jake we have to go."

I said goodbye to Billy, and we made our way to the garage. We were silent as we walked. Once we got to the garage, I turned to look at Jake. Before he could say anything I wrapped my arms around his waist and hid my face against his chest as I asked, "So what was that back there?" I could feel the heat on my face as I blushed.

He tried to lift my face so he could see my eyes, I blushed more. He smiled. "You're blushing!" he laughed. "I hope I wasn't too forward with you, I mean I know I'm your first boyfriend and all..."

"No, no, I liked the way you kissed me." I turned my face away, feeling a bit ridiculous for admitting it out loud.

He turned my face back to his, and pulled me closer to his body, and he kissed me again. This wasn't the same as before; this was the soft, sweet kiss that always seemed to end too fast. I was still standing there with my eyes closed, for a minute I couldn't remember where I was.

"Nessie?" Jacob said, and I could hear the smug smile in his voice. "Unless you want to make Alice angry, we'd better get going. I don't know what angry pixies are like, but I've got a feeling we'll find out if I get you back late."

I sighed, "Okay, let's go."

The whole drive home, I had a smile on my face and I'd nearly forgotten that the time I'd spent with Jake in La Push would be off limits to my thoughts until I was safely back in La Push, or safely away from my Dad. We got back home just before sun down and I went to my parents' cottage, just so they would know that I made it home before they told me to. I saw Mom and I smiled. "Mom, I made it home before Dad told me to be home."

She laughed, "Someone's in a better mood. Alice is waiting for you, and she looks a little impatient." She kissed my forehead. "Have fun, Nessie."

I knew my mom didn't want to go with us on this shopping trip, but I loved to see her reaction at the mention of her joining us. Mom hated all the stylish things Aunt Alice had furnished her with every time she went shopping, she'd be just as happy with a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. "You sure you don't want to come?"

Mom cringed in horror. "Oh no! You and Alice have fun."

I laughed. "Okay Mom, I'll see you later. Tell Dad I said bye."

I walked out of the house and into the garage to wait by Aunt Alice's yellow Porsche. She still had it and it was in good condition, thanks to Aunt Rosalie. She was the best mechanic in the family. Jacob was there waiting with me. I was really going to hate being away from him while I went on this shopping trip. I closed the small amount of distance there was between us, and I kissed him. "I'm gonna miss you terribly while I'm gone. I hate it when we don't get to spend the whole day together." My mouth turned down at the corners slightly.

He kissed me again, "I'm going to miss you too Nessie, you have now idea what its like not being with you, not being there to make sure you're okay. But I know Alice will take good care of you."

"I sure will." Aunt Alice seemed to dance over to us. "You might want to be careful around here you two, you never know who else will discover your secret."

I hugged Jacob, and he leaned in to give me a quick kiss goodbye, but I put my arms around his neck and kissed him, like he kissed me when we were in his room, forgetting that Aunt Alice was there.

She cleared her throat, "Nessie, let's go!"

I straightened and let go of Jake. "Bye Jake."

Jake didn't say anything; I guess I'd surprised him by my actions. I'd never kissed him like that before. I didn't even know I was capable of kissing like that before today. I got in Aunt Alice's car and we were on our way to the mall.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think ;)<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5: Torn<strong>

**Jacob**

I was speechless as I watched Nessie and Alice drive away. With that parting kiss it was evident that she loved me as much as I loved her. I knew that I had the power to make her lose concentration when our lips touched, but WOW, Nessie had been holding back before. She kissed me so forcefully and passionately that I was the one left in a fog, forgetting everything except my love for her. I was glad Edward wasn't around to hear my thoughts. He would literally kill me, especially if he saw that Nessie loved me just as deeply as I loved her.

Speaking of Edward, I really needed to talk to him and Bella. I wanted to tell Nessie about the past, she had to understand that it was different then. I hoped she wouldn't be too upset if she found out that Bella was my first kiss, or that I was in love with her. Surely she would realize that all of this occurred because in some way I had to be tied to Bella so I could meet her. That was something I could rationalize but the day of her birth, that was a different story. I could see where she would get angry about that. When Bella was pregnant with her, I called her an "it", a "monster", a "thing" never a baby. I despised her and the fact that she nearly killed Bella. And when Bella's heart stopped beating, I planned to kill her- until I laid eyes on her. I wanted to give Nessie what she asked for, I wanted to tell her the truth, but being honest with her was only going to hurt her...and me. Who was I kidding, she would never see it my way. It was stupid of me to think that telling her the truth would make things okay. Keeping her in the dark about the past would benefit her more than actually learning the truth. I have to tell them never to tell her about our pasts. It would destroy her life, and mine. She would never be okay with my past. There would be no understanding, there would only be the image of her walking away with a look of disgust as she realized what kind of monster I truly was. Losing her would devastate me. She was my reason for living, without her there would be no reason to go on.

I made my way over to their little cottage. "Bella, we need to talk."

"What about, Jake?" As she looked up at me she had that crease in between her eyebrows that she always got when she was worried or concerned. A lot about Bella has changed since those days when I was in love with her, and she was still human, but I could still see some of the old Bella there.

"It's about Nessie. You know I love your daughter, that's why I have to ask, no beg, you not to tell her about our past, or the day of her birth."

"She wants to know. It's hurting her to know we are keeping something from her. Us, the people that claim to love her more than anyone else. I don't know if I can go along with that."

"Bells, it will hurt her even more when she realizes that you were the first girl I ever kissed, her father and I were enemies fighting for your heart, or worst of all the kind of monster I was when you were pregnant with her. Bella, can't you see? I don't want to lose her, not when I don't even have her yet. I can't see her hurt," I explained.

"Jake...I don't know." I could see the uncertainty on her face.

"She's just like you, she's a horrible liar, and she blushes a lot. If she wasn't half vampire, I would be willing to bet that she'd be as clumsy as you were. If you hurt her like this she's going to be just like you were when Edward left." I cringed with Bella, remembering that horrible time that brought us closer than ever. I knew it was a dirty tactic but I had to use all my ammunition if I was going to convince her to keep quiet.

"I don't know what the right thing to do is in this situation." Bella ran her fingers through her hair, frustrated.

"I do. We're not telling her," Edward said with that same note of finality in his tone that he has with Renesmee. He walked slowly into the room from the front door as he braced himself for Bella's reaction.

"Edward, you can't ask me to keep something this important from our daughter. She's going to find out. We have too many slip ups, she's too curious, and like Jake said, she's just like me. When I was curious didn't I find the answers I was looking for? She's not going to drop this, and I don't want to spend centuries trying to tell her it's not important, because it is," Bella argued her point.

"Bella, I'm not arguing with you about this, we're not telling her and that's final." I sighed with relief as Edward finally decided to man up and not give Bella everything she wanted. This was one time that we actually agreed on something.

"I'm not agreeing to this to save you, Jacob. I don't want to see my daughter hurt," he responded to my thoughts.

"What ever the reason, Edward, I'm grateful." With that I walked out of the cottage and decided to go for a run.

As I phased I tried not to think about my time with Nessie and that kiss that still takes my breath away with just a thought of it, but it was impossible. I heard Seth and Leah groan.

_Sorry guys_, I thought.

_You know Edward's going to kill you when he finds out. Especially if he sees that in someone's mind_, Seth thought.

_He's not going to find out!_ I growled. I could have easily ordered them to keeps those thoughts off limits to Edward, but I would never abuse my power in that way. Letting them know that it was a touchy subject was my subtle hint at them keeping their traps shut about my personal life.

At the mention of Edward, my thoughts turned to all the questions Nessie had about our past and the arguments we've had because of it. _Oh wow,_ Leah thought, _I never knew soul mates fight! _She laughed in her head.

_SHUT UP, LEAH_. _She's not going to find out about her past. I'm not going to lose her, I can't_!

I couldn't take the voices in my head anymore. Listening to their doubts would drive me insane, so I phased back into my human form. I paced back and forth in the Cullen's garage, while my thoughts were torn between my two basic instincts- giving Nessie what she wanted and protecting her.

All the worries that weighed down on me seemed to evaporated as Alice's Porsche pulled into the garage. As Nessie got out of the car, and our eyes met, my decision was made. I had to protect her from the truth.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think ;)<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter 6: Loss**

Renesmee

Shopping with Aunt Alice was great! I got my mind off of all the secret drama going on at my house, and I got to relive today with Jake several times in my mind. The down side to shopping was being away from him for a long period of time. It would seem that the closer we'd gotten, the harder it was to be away from him. Being with him was a necessity; I needed him like I needed the air I breathed. Without him I didn't know if I could function properly. When I got back to the cottage, I planned to tell him how I felt. I resolved to forget all the petty little things, and focus on us...and of course not getting caught by Dad.

Aunt Alice interrupted my reverie, "You know Nessie, it's no fun shopping with you when all you do is mope around and talk about Jake."

"I'm sorry Aunt Alice; it's just that when I'm not with Jacob, I feel like part of me is missing. He's like my own personal sun and when he's around warmth and happiness surrounds me, but when he's not all that's left is cold, sunless darkness threatening to swallow me whole."

She laughed. "You just get more and more like your mother everyday. She called Jake her personal sun. And although Edward makes her beyond happy, she wasn't complete unless Jacob was around too." She stopped as if she'd said too much.

This sparked my curiosity. "So what exactly was Mom and Jacob's relationship?" I felt as though I'd been asking this question my whole life, and the reactions I got would always be the same, stunned silence and then avoidance of the question.

"Nessie, you know you're too young to have such deep feelings for Jake," she said, trying to distract me. "It's sort of unhealthy! Just like Bella and Edward were."

Hmm, Mom and Dad's relationship was like mine and Jake's? What did she mean? Mom needed Jake like I need him now? Were they in a relationship? I'd gone entirely too far, that couldn't possibly be the case. They couldn't have been, especially since Mom was with Dad then. I'd agreed to leave this secret alone, and imagining crazy scenarios about Jake and my mother was not helping me to end this obsession.

We arrived at the garage and there he was, my personal sun that shines 24/7, waiting for me. He was pacing, and when he looked up he met my gaze, instantly showing that smile I loved so much. I ran to him and jumped into his arms. "Jake! I've missed you so much!"

He walked farther into the garage with me still in his arms. "I've missed you too, Nessie baby." Once we were safely out of sight, I kissed him. I kissed both of his cheeks, his forehead, then his lips. "Wow, you really missed me, didn't you?" he asked laughing.

"Yes, you were all I could think about."

"Don't I know it, Jake this, Jake that. I know more about you than I cared to ever know, Jacob," Aunt Alice interrupted. "Don't forget your bags, Nessie. We got Bella a lot of new things too, make sure she wears them...and puts them together correctly." She laughed as she walked into the house.

Jake put me down, but I still didn't let him go, my arms were securely wrapped around his waist. He got my bags out of the car when he saw that I wasn't going to let him go. He was about to start walking to the cottage, when I stopped him. "Jake, wait. Before we go to the cottage I want to tell you something."

He looked down at me still with arms around his waist. "Okay, what's up?" He sat the bags on the ground.

I released my hold on his waist only to hold both his hands. I looked up into his eyes. "Going on that trip with Aunt Alice made me realize that I can't be without you. You're a part of me and I need you to function. I need you like the air that I breathe, and I'm not whole until I'm with you. You're my personal sun, and you brighten my life." There I'd said it. I just didn't know how he was going to react to this.

Jake's dark eyes seem to sparkle. His smile grew even wider as he seemed to be speechless. He picked me up and spun me around in circles. "Do you know how long I've waited for you to love me this way?"

"I'm going to guess about ten years." I laughed

"No, I've waited my whole life for this kind of love." He kissed me and smiled. Our foreheads were together, and we were looking into each other's eyes. "I love you, Renesmee."

"I love you too, Jacob." I smiled and closed my eyes, wishing this moment would never end, but just like every night it unfortunately did have to end.  
>Aunt Alice came back into the garage. "Edward will be looking for you in 2 minutes."<p>

I didn't want to let Jake go, so I rode on his back while he carried my bags as we went back to the cottage. Dad met us at the door. He didn't look angry or mad at all anymore, so I guess the time away cooled him off. He did look a little uneasy that I was riding Jake's back. _Jeez, when would he get over this whole aversion to physical contact with Jake thing_?

His mouth slightly twitched. "Never," he said smiling.

I laughed with him, knowing that no one else knew what we were talking about. Mom and Jake exchange a look and then Mom said, "Ok, could someone let the people who can't hear others' thoughts know what's going on, please?"

"Seriously!" Jake said and looked at me questioningly.

"It's nothing," Dad and I said simultaneously, which started another round of laughter.

Wow and they said Mom and I were a like, I guess I was a bit like Dad too, huh? Who would've guessed it? I laughed again as I looked at Dad. _I have never seen you this light and happy, you're beaming like a proud father_.

"I am. Nessie, I am proud of you no matter what. I might treat you like a ten year old sometimes, but it's only because I have to get used to the fact that you age faster than humans. You are a teenager in mind and body, so I guess I should give you more credit. You know what you're doing, you're not a little kid anymore, and I'm going to have to start accepting that."

"Wow, Dad, I don't know what to say, I wasn't expecting that. Thanks."

"And I guess you're safe with Jacob, so I guess I can be a little less protective. I know he won't let anything happen to you." He seemed reluctant to say this, but I'm glad he said it.

_Jake is like my best friend, I love him, and he's a part of our family too._

"I know," he said in a whisper.

_Iwonder what Mom had to do to bring this side of Dad out. On second thought I might not want to know. _

Dad's shoulders began to shake with his laughter. "What's so funny this time, Edward?" Mom asked.

"Your daughter wants to know what you had to do to bring this side out of me." He laughed again. "Then she decided she might not want to know the answer to that question." Mom laughed too, and so did Jake. This was the way our family should be, happy with every member intact. I liked it this way.

"Mom, we got you some great clothes when we went shopping." I handed her three of the bags Jake had been holding.

"Oh joy," Mom said taking the bags.

"Jake will you help me take the rest of the bags to my room?" I asked hoping Dad wouldn't freak out.

"Of course," Jake said giving my dad a cautious glance.

"Nessie, ten minutes. I'm being lenient, but you still have a curfew."

I sighed, "Fine, I guess that's better than nothing."

"We're going over to see the rest of the family, because I know your Mom wants to thank Alice for the clothes." Dad smiled at Mom. His expression turned fierce as he looked at Jacob, "Ten minutes and don't try anything, Jacob. I know your mind better than you do."

I guess he really meant it when he said he wasn't going to lay off Jacob. They went to the main house where the rest of my family was, and Jake and I headed to my room to put up all the new clothes I bought. When we got to my room I kissed him. "I can't believe he left us here alone."

Jake pulled me closer to him, and kissed my forehead, then my lips. "I know, I think we are wearing him down. He knows it's inevitable. He sees the way we are together, the way we can't be apart for too long. And even though you hide your thoughts, you can't hide the way you look when he talks about not allowing you to see me."

I put my arms around his waist just as I had in the garage, and I laid my head on his chest. "Being this way with you feels so relaxing. I know Dad sees how I seem more relaxed around you, and from what Aunt Alice says, he and Mom were the same way. She said the love we have is unhealthy. I guess because one can't live without the other. Were Mom and Dad really like we are now?"

I lifted my head to look at his face. He seemed to be in deep thought. "Yes, they have the same type of connection. They definitely can't live without each other, just like I can't live without you." He kissed my forehead. He sighed, "My ten minutes are up."

"What? No, it can't be!" He turned me around so that I could see the clock on my wall. Yep ten minutes were definitely up. I went to change into my pajamas and I was back within two seconds. I laid in bed and Jake tucked me in and gave me a kiss good night.

"Night, Nessie."

He was about to leave and I grabbed his hand. "No, Jake, can't you stay? At least until we hear them come back?" The thought of him being away from me seemed to tear at my insides. I'd only been with him for a short time today and shopping with Aunt Alice took up most of my night. I hadn't had much time with him and I'd have to spend the rest of the night without him! The pain was unbearable and I started to cry.

His face was pained; he hated to see me cry. "Nessie don't cry." He wiped the tears from my cheek. "I'll stay, don't cry. Please." He climbed into bed with me and wrapped his arms around me. It felt nice being in Jacob's arms. His body was so warm, and of course I felt content, happy, and more relaxed than ever. I quickly drifted off to sleep, forgetting that we were supposed to be listening for my parents' approach.

Jacob had fallen asleep too, and when we woke up it wasn't pleasant. "RENESMEE CARLIE CULLEN!" my Dad yelled. Jacob jumped up and his first instinct was to protect me. He took a guarded position in front of me.

"Would one of you care to explain to me why Jacob is still here, in your room, in your bed, with his arms around you?" Dad was livid. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose to calm himself as he waited for my answer.

"I'm sorry, Edward, if you're going to blame someone, blame me. Nessie did nothing wrong." Jacob spoke up trying to protect me.

Dad's eyes snapped open and it looked like he was going to snap Jacob in half. "Dad it's my fault. I asked Jake to stay, because it hurts me to be without him. I don't know what came over me, but when he was about to leave...it felt like my insides were being ripped apart. I started to cry because the pain of being separated from him seemed unbearable and I don't know why." I let Dad see it in my thoughts. I only explained for Mom's benefit. I thought maybe he would understand better if he saw it happen.

"Jacob, get out of my house, I don't want to see you here again. If I do I may just rip you to shreds." His voice and his face were deadly.

Jacob's look was challenging. "Bring it blood sucker; that fight is long over due." He sounded just as lethal.

I looked from one to the other, and they looked like they were about to rip each other apart. "Stop!" Mom and I yelled at the same time. I loved my dad and Jacob. I didn't want them fighting each other, and I'm sure Mom felt the same way.

"Jacob, leave," Mom said, with no compromise in her tone.

Jacob turned to leave but I stopped him. I turned to my dad. "Please Dad, no. I love him; I need him in my life. Don't take him away from me. Please." I replayed in my head every moment I've spent with Jacob...minus the moments that were just for us to know about.

Dad wouldn't budge. "You lied to me, Renesmee. You and Jacob have been seeing each other behind our backs." He seemed even more furious than before. "Jake, out NOW," he said between his clenched teeth.

I let Jake's hand go and I watched him leave with nothing but pain in his eyes. That pain was mirrored in my eyes. I fell to the floor and cried. I'd lost my sun, my air, my reason to live. How could I go on when an eclipse had indefinitely blocked my sun? How could I function when I was being deprived of my basic necessity for survival?

That night I laid on the floor and cried. Throughout the night I would hear agonizing howls from a wolf that was undoubtedly Jacob. Even our pain was the same, or his much more intensified. He's waited for me his whole life. I never had to wait for him; he's always been there for me since the day I was born. I've seen Jake everyday for ten years. I cried hysterically when I realized that the pain he was feeling was much more than I could ever know.

Another pained howl ripped through the air when my crying got worse.  
>Losing Jacob was unbearable. I spent my days and nights on the floor in the same place where Jacob had been torn from me. I was crying for the loss, the loss of the only love I would ever know. Jacob was made for me, and I for him. I didn't speak to either my mother or my father. How could they not understand how much I needed Jacob? How could they not understand the pain I felt without him? Aunt Alice had said they were like us, so how could they stand by and watch the pain that they were causing us?<p>

My mom came into the room, her eyes pained by the sight of me on the floor crying and never moving from that spot. "Nessie, honey." Her voice sounded full of pain and understanding.

She knelt down beside me and I put my palm to her cheek. I showed her all the time I've spent with Jake and how hurt I felt without him. I knew that she would feel my pain if I showed her. I let my hand fall and began to cry again. "Oh, Nessie," she said. I turned away from her because I knew all too well the look she was giving me. That look meant I feel your pain, but I stand behind your father on this. I thought Mom would leave, but she didn't; she stayed there kneeling beside me. "Grandpa Charlie is coming over today. He misses you and he wants to see you," she said, hoping to get me off the floor, I bet. It was not going to work. I wouldn't move until I could see Jake again. I loved my Grandfather and I missed him too, but not even he could get me to leave this spot.

Just as Mom had said, Grandpa Charlie came over. "Nessie, it's Grandpa. Come on out here and give me a hug." I made no move to get up or to speak. I just laid there with the steady stream of tears running down my cheeks. Nothing new there. I'd been in this same spot for two weeks, crying. When I didn't respond I heard him say, "Renesmee?"

"She's in her room," my mom told him.

I heard his footsteps and then he was standing in the door. Our eyes locked, his concerned eyes and my wet, blood shot eyes. The expression on his face as he took in my condition was sheer horror, but there was something else there too. Recognition? "Nessie...what's wrong?" he whispered.

I said nothing. I continued to sob like he wasn't even there. He continued to stare, horrified at my state. I wondered how I must appear to him. I had been crying nonstop, I would've thought my eyes would be dry by now. After a few minutes had passed, he left. I heard him talking to my mom, "Bella, what's wrong with her?"

"Edward won't let Jake come over anymore," Mom said, with no emotion in her tone.

"She's in bad shape...you of all people should know how she feels. When I walked into the room I thought I was having a flashback."

"Dad, it's not the same...I-"

"Don't tell me it's not the same! You didn't see yourself, I did," Grandpa yelled.

Mom was quiet, and didn't respond.

"You slightly snapped out of it because you had Jake. Nessie doesn't have a Jake to run to. She only has Jake. How could you stand by and let Edward take that away? Is Jake a danger to Nessie? Did he hurt her?" Grandpa asked, conscious of the fact that hanging out with wolves was a possible danger to humans.

"No," Mom said in a quiet voice. "He loves her, he would never hurt her. She's perfectly safe with him."

"Then I must be missing something, because I don't see the problem here." Grandpa sounded confused.

"He loves her, Dad. And she loves him. He's in love with her," Mom said trying to convince him that this was a bad thing.

"Bella, you can't help who you love. I tried to get you to rethink Edward, but you didn't. Even when you were like Nessie you never stopped loving him."

"Dad," Mom sighed.

"She's more like you than you realize. In this case she's exactly like you," Grandpa pleaded.

"Dad, I'm not going to fight Edward on this."

Without another word I heard Grandpa Charlie leave. Wow, what did he mean Mom was this way and she knew how I felt? He said Jacob was there for Mom...what had happened with Dad? Neither of those questions could hold my attention for long, as nothing mattered without Jacob.

Another week passed, and still no change. I was in the same place crying still. I hadn't talked to anyone, and when Dad was here all my thoughts were of Jacob. Every night I'd hear that agonizing howl reminding me that he was in pain too. Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett came by once and they got no response from me either, I didn't even acknowledge their presence.

Grandpa Carlisle and Grandma Esme came by to visit. I didn't even look at them, I couldn't. Seeing Grandma's face would hurt me even more because seeing me like this hurt her too. The only members of the family to get a response out of me were Uncle Jasper and Aunt Alice. I heard them come over and I also heard my father's pained voice, "Alice, I wish you could tell me how long this is going to last."

"It doesn't take a vision to know that answer, Edward! Let her see Jacob and her mood will change." She sounded irritated. She and Jasper came into my room and closed the door, not like that would help anything. There was no such thing as privacy in this house. "Hey, Nessie," Aunt Alice said as she tried to wipe the endless stream of tears from my cheek. "I'm so sorry! I don't know why Edward has to be so stubborn." I tried to smile but all I ended up doing was crying even harder. Smiles weren't possible without Jake.

"Jake!" I cried. That was all I managed to say and I started sobbing uncontrollably. Uncle Jasper's face looked pained. It was scrunched into a horrific expression. He must have been picking up on my emotional climate, which must not have been very pleasing. He and Aunt Alice exchanged glances. She kissed my forehead and walked out of the room.

"I'm sorry, Nessie," Uncle Jasper whispered. He picked me up off the floor, and sat on my bed with me in his lap. I leaned my head against his shoulder and cried even harder. This was the first time me and Uncle Jasper had been this close. He had never been as outgoing as the rest of our family. Like Aunt Alice, he tried to dry my tears. "Your pain is unbearable. I've never felt pain this strong throughout my whole existence. You actually need Jacob in order to function. I think what you feel for him is much stronger than what your mom and dad felt for each other." I felt a little calmer, but I thought of Jake and the crying got worse. "Nessie these feelings you have for Jacob defy everything I know. I've tried to calm you, many times, and what ever feelings you have for Jake break through every time. Your pain is much stronger than my powers can control. I'm going to talk to Edward in hopes that he will understand." He stood up with me in his arms and put me in bed, kissed my forehead and left.

I didn't want to stay in bed. The last time I was in that bed Jacob was there with me. This thought broke what little composure I was holding on to. I cried hysterically, I couldn't stop, not until I had Jacob back. I heard pained howls ripping through the air one after another.

The next day I awoke to the distinct smell of a wolf. Jacob? That was the only thought I had. It had to be Jake. I got off the floor and raced to the living room, where the smell was coming from. "Nessie?" My mom and dad both said, shocked to see me out of my room. I ignored them and looked toward the source of the smell. My face fell, and I felt tears start to sting my eyes once again. It was not Jacob. It was Seth. He was the next best thing to having Jacob here though.

I looked at him and tried unsuccessfully to smile. "Hhhi Ssseth." I sobbed.  
>He looked at me in disbelief. "Ness, hey." He walked over and hugged me. I missed feeling that familiar warmth, but it wasn't the same because he wasn't Jacob. "Nessie for a beautiful half vampire, you look horrible." He tried to joke.<p>

I couldn't say anything; I just started on my way back to my room. Seth must have wondered what brought me out because I heard my dad say, "Your scent...she thought you were Jacob." I resumed my position on the floor, and continued to cry. The wolf scent was getting closer. Seth must have been coming into my room.

He sat on my bed. "You miss him don't you?" he asked in a quiet voice.

I let out a sob, "Mmmmore ttthan mmmiss him. It it _hhhhurts_!"

"Nessie, Jake wanted me to tell you he loves you. That's why I'm here. He wanted me to see how you were doing. Obviously you're not doing good at all."

"I lllove him too." I let out another hysterical sob.

Seth was quiet.

I looked up at him. "Hhhow is he?"

He looked like he didn't want to tell me. "Much worse than you. He'll see you in my mind tonight when I phase and I was hoping that would help a little."

He was trying to make small talk, because I was offering nothing but sobs to the conversation. "Ness, I know you don't want to know this but Edward is hurting too." When I said nothing, he got up to leave. "Jake loves you."

"Tthank you, Seth." I managed to say as he left, and then I completely fell apart. Seeing Seth didn't help. If anything it made things worse. He reminded me of that warm body I didn't have near me, my personal sun that could take me out of this dark storm, but Dad was the eclipse that Jake couldn't fight. I was never going to see him again, and I was never going to get over this pain.

**Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7: Sneaky<strong>

As time passed there was still no Jake and still no change. Well, there was a slight change. Dad let Seth come over and that was good for Jake. He got to see me when Seth thought of me in his wolf form. I still spent my days and nights crying in that same spot until Seth came over. When he came to my room, I was able to sit up and stifle my sobs long enough to carry on a half hearted conversation with him. One day he said, "Ness, you've been this way for a month. Isn't it getting any better?"

"No, actually it's getting worse," I said as my lip started to tremble. It was so hard to keep it together when Seth was around. He was so much like Jacob. He even had that smile, his not quite as great as Jake's though.

"I'm so sorry you have to go through this." He knelt down on the floor beside me and hugged me. My composure faltered. I started sobbing on Seth's shoulder. "It's ok, Ness, it's ok." He tried to console me. Seth was beginning to feel like my best friend. Through this, my darkest hours, Seth has been there. Even when I wouldn't talk to him, he just sat there and watched me. He told me stories about things going on with the pack. He didn't care that I didn't respond. "I'm going to try my best to convince Edward to let you see Jake. I'm going to find a way for you to see him again," Seth offered.

"Thank you, Seth." That was all I managed to say as he was leaving.

My whole family was going hunting today. I, of course, refused to go. I hadn't talked to my dad in over a month, and I couldn't even stand to look at my mother. Knowing that she'd been where I was now and she still wouldn't help me, hurt me even more. I wasn't going anywhere. Not even Aunt Alice or Uncle Jasper could persuade me to go. My dad asked Seth to stay and watch out for me. Dad liked Seth. I bet if Seth was the one that imprinted on me instead of Jacob, there would be no problem with me seeing him.

They left and an hour later I smelled the scent of a wolf in my living room. _It must be Seth, but why wasn't he coming to my room? He knew I would be here_. I waited five minutes. He still didn't come back to my room, so I went into the living room to see if something was wrong. I walked up the hall. "Seth? Is there something..." I looked up and there he was standing in the middle of my living room. He looked nearly the same as I'd seen him last. The only differences were that his eyes were red and puffy, like mine were, and his hair was all over the place like he hadn't touched it in weeks. Even with those minor changes he was still the best looking, most handsome guy I'd ever laid my eyes on. "Jake..." I was shocked. I couldn't move from where I stood. Although I had more than perfect eye sight, I blinked to make sure I was seeing the right thing. Jake was right there standing in my living room!

He didn't move; he just stood there. He said nothing, but his gaze never left my face. I walked toward him, walking slower than a normal human would walk. I thought that it was too good to be true, and if I moved too fast he might just disappear. As I stood in front of him, he looked down at me still saying nothing. I reached up to trace his face with my fingers. I ran my fingers along the bridge of his nose, and I traced the curve of his lips before I let my palm rest on his cheek. I showed him that he was all I thought about, and I also showed him how much I missed him.

He put his warm hand against the hand that rested on his cheek. "I know," he whispered. Then he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. Caressing my cheek he said, "I've missed you too, Nessie." Then he kissed me. This kiss was both different and the same. It was soft but urgent, rough but sweet. Our lips were familiar with one another, but also unfamiliar from the weeks apart. We were reacquainting ourselves with one another. Jake was my addiction, and I couldn't get enough of him. I hated having to pause to catch my breath, but we were both panting.

"Seth?" I asked.

"Yes." He smiled the smile that I loved so much, understanding my question. He went to sit on the couch, he patted the seat beside him, but instead I sat in his lap. He started to say something, but instead of letting him speak, I started kissing him again. I didn't want to waste this time that Seth had given us with talking. "I love-," he tried to speak again, but this time I put all of my force into our kiss and ended up pushing Jake down on the couch. Again my body burned for him. I didn't think; I just let that need for Jake take over my mind. He didn't have on a shirt, so I let my hands roam up and down his abs. I was about to unbutton his shorts, but Jake grabbed my hands, and sat up. "Nessie, no," he whispered.

"Jake, I don't know when or if I'll see you again."

"Nessie, we can't. Not now, not like this. We will see each other again, don't doubt that. I can't be without you anymore. I don't care what Edward says. I will see you." There was determination and sincerity in his eyes.

I started to kiss him the way I had the last day that we were together. He stopped me. "Nessie, do you know what you're doing?"

"I'm not a child; of course I know what I'm doing." My chin shot up in defiance, not believing that he was insinuating that I had no clue what I was asking for.

"We can't." It sounded like he was trying to convince himself that it couldn't happen. "Not yet. It's too soon."

I pouted but agreed that today wasn't right time. Having my dad come home to find that Jake and I had connected in the most intimate of ways would not help my case or his.

I really wished that we were at the garage- that would make this moment perfect. I missed how Jake and I would slow dance to the music coming from the Rabbit's radio.

"What are you thinking about?" Jake asked.

"The garage," I replied with a smile. I put my palm to his face and showed him the moments I was remembering.

He smiled at the memory, and he got up to turn on the radio. He offered me his hand and said, "Well it's not the garage, but this is the next best thing." I took his hand and smiled. We slow danced around the living room. The song that we danced to was called _Your Guardian Angel_ by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. It couldn't have been more perfect. Jake had always been my guardian angel. It was the best reunion I could ever ask for. I started to cry; I had Jacob back, even if it was only for one day. He looked down at me, and wiped a tear from my cheek. "No more crying. We've both done enough of that," he said as we walked over to the couch. Jake and I cuddled, and for a while we didn't talk, we just relaxed in one another's arms. He played with one of my curls. "Nessie, you're beautiful, but you look horrible."

I laughed. "Thanks a lot, Jake."

"I'm serious. You look like you've lost weight, when's the last time you ate? And your eyes..." He traced the dark circles under my eyes.

I looked down at my feet. "Well I haven't eaten since the night I lost you. I know you saw it in Seth's mind, I didn't move from the floor for weeks. I couldn't, Jake. It caused me physical pain to be without you and every day it hurt more."

He pulled me into his lap and I rested my head on his shoulder. "I felt the same way. This is the first time I've been out of my wolf form since that night. I thought that I could deal with the pain better, but it was still excruciating." He caressed my face again, and stood up with me in his arms,

"Let's get you something to eat. What do you want to eat? Eggs? Or do you want me to take you hunting?"

I thought about it for a while, and I had been denying myself the basic necessities. I could eat human food or I could drink blood to cure my hunger. The burn in my throat wasn't as bad as it was for a full vampire, but it was very painful now since I hadn't gone hunting, or eaten, in over a month. "Eggs first, then hunting?" I felt happier than I had in weeks, as he carried me to the kitchen.

"What ever you want." He kissed my forehead and sat me in a chair in the kitchen. He started cooking eggs, and I smiled. I started thinking of how much I could get used to Jake cooking for me. Someday Jake and I could have a family of our own, and Jake could cook breakfast for us. I sighed happily. Jake finished the eggs and we ate.

"MMM, I've missed food. I'd forgotten how good eggs taste," I said as I helped myself to a third helping of eggs.

Jacob laughed. "I have a good memory, but I'd forgotten just how beautiful you are, and how cute you are when you're eating eggs."

I giggled. "Yea right, I look horrible." I finished eating the eggs. "You ready to go hunting?"

He bent down to let me ride his back. We didn't go too far, we didn't want to end up running into my family. That could be dangerous. I wanted my stay with Jake to last as long as it could. I wanted to hunt mountain lions because they taste the best. Everyone told me that I got that preference from my parents. My mom and dad love hunting lions. Jake was being overly cautious, so he wouldn't let me take it down. He changed into his wolf form and snapped the lion's neck, and then he let me have it. The sight of me hunting a lion scared him, but I didn't argue; I let him do it. I didn't want to argue with him today. When we were done hunting we made our way back to the cottage. Seth was there waiting for us. I hopped down from Jake's back, and ran over to Seth and I kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I exclaimed. "You are the best, Seth!"

"Well you two were miserable and getting on my nerves, so I figured why not?" He smiled.

"What's up, Seth? Pack news?" Jake wondered.

"No, I was coming to let you know that Edward and Bella are on their way back. They should be here in 30 minutes."

Jake looked at Seth, and then he looked at me. "I guess I better leave then."

I couldn't believe that I was going to lose Jake again. I didn't want to go back to the pain of being without him. I didn't want to hurt anymore. I wouldn't lose him again. I walked back towards Jake and wrapped my arms around him. "No, no, I'm not losing you again."

Jake kissed the top of my head, "Nessie, nothing's changed. I still haven't been allowed to see you. Seth had to be sneaky so that I could see you. Don't worry, I'll be back. I'm going to talk to Edward when they come home."

"You won't be long will you? Please Jake, I don't want to hurt again. I have to see you no matter what they say," I pleaded.

"I promise. I'll be back." He kissed me. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I hugged him one last time. I knew now that I had to control my thoughts. As much as I wanted to I couldn't think of this most wonderful day with Jacob. I would give him time to talk to my father and then if that didn't work, I would run away to La Push to be with him. That was treaty land; surely they wouldn't break the treaty and cross over into La Push. Especially when no one in the pack would dare let them in to get me. If it had to come to that, I would do it just to be with Jacob.

While Seth and I waited for my parents to arrive, we played a fast game of spades, we talked, and Seth even cooked me some more eggs. I wasn't hungry, but I needed moments with Seth to think about when Dad arrived.

I looked in the mirror for the first time in months. I was horrified with the way I looked. "Nessie, we're home," Mom yelled. I was too preoccupied with my reflection in the mirror to even answer. I had lost weight. By the looks of it, I'd lost a lot of weight. I was nothing more than skin and bones. I was as pale as a full vampire, my eyes were bloodshot with deep purple circles under them, and my hair was a tangled, curly mess. I couldn't believe that the girl I saw in the mirror was me. My thoughts were cut short when my dad was standing in the doorway.

"Nessie? Are you ok?" he asked looking surprised that I had moved from the spot that I had occupied for weeks.

_No_, I thought. I still wasn't going to speak to him.

"This has gone on long enough, it ends now." He tried to sound authoritative.

_Let me see Jacob, and it will end the very second he walks through the door_.

"I can't do that, Nessie. You both lied to me."

_Can't? Or won't? I don't think it's that fact that we lied to you. I think you have something against Jacob. It's something that has nothing to do with me._ The scent of wolf grew stronger, and I knew that Seth wasn't alone. It must have been Jake. _Jake's here!_ Before I could move Dad was out the door and in the living room. I tried to run to him, but Mom held me back.

"What are you doing here, _dog_?" Dad asked rudely.

"I can't let you hurt Nessie anymore. It hurts her as much as it hurts me to be away from her and you know it," Jacob replied trying to be civil.

Dad looked at me, and to that he had no reply. All of a sudden his face looked pained like he was being tortured. Finally he spoke, "I know! I know she's just like her. You don't have to take me down memory lane, Jacob, I remember it."_ What was he talking about? _

"Then why do you continue to let her suffer?" Jake raised his voice. Not giving Dad a chance to continue, his gazed turned to Mom. "And you, Bella, you understand how she feels better than anyone. How could you watch her hurt every day? I saw it happen to you and I was there to ease it. Don't you want that for you're daughter? Or are you the only one that gets a happy ending?" _What was Jake talking about? What was this that I didn't understand_?

"You're right," Mom whispered. "I don't want her to feel like I felt." Mom let me go and I started walking toward Jacob, but Dad stopped me.

_Let me go or lose me forever_, I thought.

He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

_I will leave; I will go to La Push with Jake. You can't cross the treaty line, and not one of the wolves would agree to let you cross the line to come get me._ Shock was evident on his face, and then he was composed again.

He growled. Mom and Jacob had confused looks on their faces. "Could someone tell me what's going on?" Mom asked.

"Please," Jake said.

"Renesmee is planning to run away if we don't let her see Jacob, and she's right the wolves wouldn't help me on this one, they would protect her."

"What?" Mom asked with fear plain on here face. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen, you wouldn't!"

_Watch me,_ I thought.

"She said watch her," Dad informed Mom. I saw Jacob smile. He was impressed.

Mom looked at Jacob. "_You_ put her up to this didn't you, _mongrel_."

Jake raised his hands as if he was surrendering. "I had nothing to do with this, and besides today is the first time I've seen her. How could I put her up to anything?" He smiled even bigger and I couldn't help but to smile back.

Mom sighed, "Edward, we have to let her see him. Either way she's going to."

"Fine," Dad said unwillingly. He would never deny Mom anything she wanted.  
><em>YES! SWEET VICTORY!<em> I ran and jumped into Jacobs arms and kissed him. I didn't care that my parents were standing there; I didn't care if they disapproved. All I cared about was Jacob and his lips on mine. I fisted my fingers in his hair and kissed him more passionately.

"YOUNG LADY! YOU'RE PUSHING YOUR LUCK AND JACOB'S," Dad yelled.  
>I stopped kissing him and he tried to put me down, but I wouldn't let him. I clung to him. I didn't want to let him go, not when I just got him back. I whispered in his ear, "Can we go to La Push?"<p>

He looked at Dad, "I don't know. Can we?"

"It wouldn't matter if I said yes or no, she would go anyway," Dad said with a slight hint of anger. Hearing his words made me feel guilty for giving them this ultimatum. Hurting my parents was not something I took joy in doing, but I knew that threatening to cut all ties with them was the only way I could ever see Jacob again.

I smiled as we left, and we were on our way to La Push. We went to the house, and I hugged Billy. I was so glad to see him. He seemed just as glad to see me. I'd missed this place. After seeing Billy we went to our place, the garage. When we got there, I wrapped my arms around him, and sighed "I've missed this."

Jake smiled, then his look turned thoughtful, "Did you notice that your dad didn't give you a curfew?"

"He didn't?" No, he didn't, but I had my cell phone so he'd probably call when it was time. "So can I stay with you tonight?" I didn't want to leave Jake. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with him.

"If your Dad really didn't give you a curfew, then you can stay as long as you want." He smiled.

We fell quickly into the old habits of being in the garage. He still had some warm sodas that we drank, we listened to the radio, and when our song came on we slow danced just like we had today. When it was five minutes passed my curfew, we both froze waiting to hear my cell phone ring. When it didn't we smiled. I was getting a bit tired, but I didn't want to waste time sleeping, I wanted to make up for lost time with Jake. I yawned. "Looks like someone's getting sleepy." Jake smiled. "Let's go so you can get some sleep."

"No! I don't want to go home!" The thought of leaving him caused me to panic.

"It's ok, Nessie, you don't have to leave. You can sleep in my bed."

I calmed down a bit. "Thank you."

That night was the best night of my life. I slept in Jake's arms all night. He snored and the sound was soothing. I didn't want that night to end. That morning I didn't want to leave Jake's warm arms. I woke up with a smile.

"Good morning, sleepy beauty," Jake said before he kissed me.

"Good Morning. You know, it's hard to believe, I still haven't gotten a call from Dad or Aunt Alice. I guess we make a pretty good team when it comes to persuasion." I laughed.

"Yea, but it was you that made them give up with the whole run away to La Push thing. Great idea, I wouldn't mind keeping you here forever." He smiled as his arms tightened around me.

I sighed, I loved being close to Jake. "You were great too. You were thinking something that made him soften up a bit. For a minute I thought you had powers like Jane." I shivered when I said that name. "I thought you were hurting him with your mind."

"No, I was just thinking something that your dad didn't want to remember."

"What was that?"

"Nessie, I'd rather not talk about it. We don't bring up the past at all anymore. I only thought it because I knew it would influence him and Bella. I'm not proud of doing it, but it was the only way I could get back into your life, and I would do anything I have to do for you to be happy. And I make you happy, don't I?" He looked into my eyes, and kissed me slow and sensually. He knew I would forget what ever argument I was about to make. He pulled me closer to him, and my body melted against his, tingling at his touch. When I got like this I couldn't think. All that mattered was me and Jacob-and then my cell phone rang.

"I knew it was too good to be true," I said disappointedly.

"Renesmee..." It sounded like something was wrong.

"Dad? What's wrong?" I sat up and so did Jake, he tensed beside me and tightened his hold on me.

"Nessie, you have to get home, there's something going on, I'll tell you when you get here." Dad hung up, and I looked at Jake.

"Something's happened, and I've got to get home. He said he would tell me what's going on when I got there." I was scared. _Was someone hurt? What could it be?_

Jake saw the worry in my eyes. He kissed my forehead, "Nessie, it's going be okay."

Jake was on alert as he sped down the road faster than normal. We finally arrived at the cottage, and no one was there so we went to the main house.

There, everyone looked stressed. My breath started to quicken its pace and my heart fluttered. Jake squeezed my hand, trying to help me calm down. I couldn't speak so I couldn't ask what was going on. I looked up at Jake with worry and fear in my eyes.

"What's going on?" he asked. He understood me so well. Our relationship didn't need words, we communicated perfectly without them.

"Alice, saw something," Dad informed us, his eyes looking stressed. He looked like he didn't want to finish.

"She saw our family disappear. It has nothing to do with the two of you, we know that. We don't know what is happening, or why, but we don't want anything to happen to you. We want to get you away from what ever is coming."

"She can stay in La Push," Jake offered. "She'll be more than safe there."

"We'd rather send her to Charlie's house. We're not even sure that there's anything coming that's going to harm her. We just want to take this precaution. If someone's coming chances are they don't know about Nessie, and she looks and smells just a little bit too human to take chances."

Jake understood. When it came to my safety he and Dad always agreed. I couldn't help but wonder if Dad was only sending me to Grandpa Charlie's just so he could have someone there to keep an eye on Jake. "Yea, I guess she'll be safe enough at Charlie's. I'll be there. Seth and I can do patrols and I'm sure the pack will be willing to do whatever they can to help you. Just let us know what to do and we're there," Jake offered.

The rest of my family stayed to plan their next course of action. Jake and I went to pack my things. They had already called Charlie and he was expecting me. I finished packing and Jake could tell I was worried. We had never encountered a problem since I was a baby, when the Volturi came to kill me. I shivered at the thought of them. Sometimes they still starred in my nightmares. Jake looked into my eyes, "Everything's going to be okay, Nessie. I promise. I won't let anything happen to you." I tried to calm myself. I knew Jake would never let me get hurt. I just nodded. I couldn't say anything.

We went back over to the main house. I said goodbye to my family. As I hugged each one of them Jake never let go of my hand. He knew I was afraid, not only for myself, but for the people I loved. My family was sending me away, but what about them? _Who was going to protect them and keep them safe?_

"We'll be fine," my dad answered my thought. "And so will you." He hugged me and kissed my forehead.

Mom looked like she'd be crying right now if she could. "Nessie, remember, don't come back until we've called first, okay? And don't worry so much, we're a family of vampires, we're practically indestructible." Mom tried to joke, but her laugh had a hysteric edge to it.

Dad looked Jake into the eyes. "Keep her safe."

"You know I will," Jacob said seriously.

Before we walked out the door, Uncle Emmett called after us, "Nessie, don't worry about anything. We're going to take down whatever it is that's coming for us." He laughed. I really did wish Uncle Emmett would take things seriously sometimes.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think ;)<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8: The Truth<strong>

Charlie was waiting for me as Jacob and I pulled into the drive way.

"Nessie!" He ran out to the car and hugged me tight. "Are you hungry?" he asked. "Leah and Seth are here, Sue is cooking dinner." Charlie and Sue got married four years ago. Seth and Leah still lived in their house in La Push, but they were at Charlie's house all the time, especially for dinner.

I was about to say that I wasn't hungry so that I could spend more time with Jake, but before I could open my mouth Jacob said, "Actually, Charlie, she is. She needs to make up for a month of not eating."

Well that was true and as much as I might have tried to deny it, I was hungry. "Yes, I'm starving," I finally said as we walked into the house.

When we got in the house, Jake walked straight to the kitchen. The smells coming from there had my mouth watering. Sue had out done herself, she cooked everyone's favorites: spaghetti, hot dogs, Mac –n- cheese, and some kind of egg omelet. I smiled, no doubt that was for me, as hungry as I was I would have eaten the other things too. I saw Seth and Leah already sitting at the small table with Charlie and now Jacob. "Hi, Sue, hi Leah." I walked over to Seth and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you soo much, Seth." I would never be able to thank him enough for reuniting me with Jacob.

Sue laughed. "You know, Nessie, if I didn't know any better I'd think you like Seth more than you like Jacob," she joked, and Jacob let out a growl under his breath.

"No, I just owe Seth my life. I don't know how to thank him for what he did." I went to sit in between Seth and Jacob.

Curious eyes were on Seth. Leah, Charlie, and Sue seemed confused. "Really? And what exactly did Seth do?" Leah asked.

"Well, as you might know, I wasn't allowed to see Jacob, and Seth has been an amazing friend through the whole thing. He has been there through the worst. Even when I wouldn't even speak to him, he let me cry and he just kept talking to me, and he sneakily let me see Jacob when the rest of the family went hunting."

Sue smiled and Leah punched Seth in the shoulder. "Good job, little bro. I'm impressed."

After dinner Leah and Seth left; they were probably out patrolling. Jake watched a football game with Charlie, while Sue and I washed dishes. It was getting late so Charlie told Jake that he had to leave. I walked Jacob to the door, and just like always he hugged me and kissed my forehead, then my lips. "Night, Nessie."

"Night, Jacob." I really wished he didn't have to leave. Even though I knew I would see him in the morning, I felt that pain I had felt for over a month of being without him. It wasn't as painful, but it still hurt to be without Jake. I watched TV with Sue and Charlie until he started snoring and then I went up to Mom's old room. Charlie hadn't changed her room a bit; he left it exactly as she had left it the night before her wedding. As I walked into the room I saw something move, and my heart started to race. _Who could be in here?_ _Well I'm not an ordinary human girl, I'm not as breakable._ I intended to fight back whoever my attacker was. I turned on the light and took a sigh of relief. "Jake…," I whispered. "What are you doing up here? You know Charlie will never let you stay!"

"Chill, Nessie, Charlie is out for the night, and besides Bella used to let Edward sneak up here and spend the night with her almost every night," he said smiling.

What? Dad used to spend the night with Mom in her room? And they won't even let him spend five extra minutes in my room at night! "What? Mom used to let Dad sneak into her window? And he stayed the whole night with her?" I was shocked.

"Yep, every night. I even snuck up here one night." He smiled, thoughtful. "That was the night I tried unsuccessfully to tell her about my transformation."

I got into to bed, and Jake climbed in with me. It always felt nice in Jacob's arms. I was instantly relaxed, and all the anxieties of today seemed to fade away. "You and Mom were really close, huh?" I said lazily on the verge of unconsciousness.

"Yea, she's still my best friend when she's not hating me for trying to take her daughter away," he said in the same lazy tone I had.

I laughed. "Mom does not hate you." I started to drift off to sleep.

I woke up the next morning in Jake's arms, and I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Good morning," I whispered.

"Morning, beautiful, how did you sleep?" His smile tugged at the strings of my heart.

"Amazing, one of the best nights of sleep I've ever had."

"Me too." He kissed me and my body started to tingle. Our kiss turned fierce, like we both couldn't get enough of one another. Just like always Jake stopped before we could go too far. "Nessie." He sighed and brushed my curls out of my face.

"What?" I asked preoccupied kissing his neck.

"Charlie wouldn't like it if he found me in here with you."

I sighed. "Sorry, I sort of get carried away."

He leaned in to give me a peck on the lips, but I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. I straddled him, showing him that I wanted more than just to kiss him. I was proving once again just how carried away I got when our lips touched.

Jake gently lifted me off of him and put some distance between us. "Trust me, I know exactly how much you get carried away." I blushed and his hand brushed against my cheek. "You know you're even more beautiful when you blush." He kissed me again and this time he held my hands together so that I couldn't pull him closer.

"Nessie, come on down for breakfast," Charlie yelled.

Seeing that I was going to be good, he released my hands and I hugged myself closer to him. "No, I don't want to move. I wish I could just stay here in bed with you forever."

Jacob laughed. "We'll have an eternity for that later. Besides Charlie is coming up the stairs, so I better go." He kissed my forehead and hopped out the window.

"I'm coming, Grandpa. I'll be down in a minute," I informed him.

I went downstairs following the smell of eggs. I would never get tired of eggs. I took a seat beside Seth. "Morning," I said cheerfully. As I looked around the table and realized that Jacob wasn't there, I asked, "Where's Jake?"

"He finally decided to do his part for his pack and patrol, since he's been slacking lately." He looked at me sternly and then smiled.

"Sorry." I really had been occupying all of Jake's time. He stayed with me last night and the night before I stayed with him, and I could imagine that he was no good to his pack when he couldn't see me.

"Don't worry about it, Ness, we understand that there are some things more important than the pack." His voice turned sad, like he was longing for that feeling.

"You're day is coming too, Seth, you'll find her." I smiled trying to reassure him. Then to change the subject I asked, "So since Jake is patrolling today, what are we going to do?"

He seemed to perk up a little. "Hmm…well, I'm under strict orders not to take you out of Forks."

"Aww, Seth, since when do you follow the rules? Come on, I haven't seen Claire in a while, what's she up to?" I asked hoping he'd agree to take me to La Push.

"Ness, you know if I took you to La Push Jake would kill me, and Edward would bring me back to life and kill me himself." He laughed.

"Well how about the path, it's not out of Forks, it is right in Charlie's backyard." I really hoped that he would agree. I couldn't spend the day here, without Jake, and with noting to do.

He seemed to think it over. "I guess that will be okay. We won't go too far, and we can have a picnic out there too if you really don't want to hang around here all day."

I hugged him, "Thank you, thank you! You really are my best friend." Sometimes Seth really was like Jake in the way that he always knew what I wanted.

We gathered food and blankets in a basket for our picnic. I left a note for Jacob letting him know where we were just in case he left patrol early. We started off on the path. At first we were silent, just walking and listening to the relaxing sounds of nature. I wondered if Mom and Dad had traveled this path, or if Mom and Jake had. As we got farther into the path I asked, "Seth, you knew my mom and dad before I was born, were they really like me and Jake?"

"Yea, Edward and Bella are tied to each other just like you and Jacob. Their bond is almost as strong as imprinting."

"Wow, so where does Jacob come into the story?" We came to a nice spot and we set our picnic.

I wasn't sure if he would answer my question. He seemed to think it over as we set up our picnic. When we were done, he answered. "Jacob became Bella's best friend when Edward left her. She was bad off, Ness. She looked just like you did a few days ago."

"Dad left Mom?" I interrupted.

"Yes, he left because he didn't want to put her in danger." He saw the question in my eyes so he continued. "A nomad vampire named James was tracking her and found her, and on her birthday Jasper tried to take a snap at her. She was constantly in danger in his world."

"So Dad left and Jake…" I wasn't making sense of what Jake had to do with any of it.

"Your mom turned to Jacob and he was there to pick up the pieces. Your mom still loved Edward, but she fell for Jacob too. Jacob had always loved your mom. When Edward came back he and Jacob were sort of fighting for her heart. She chose Edward, but she couldn't let Jacob go."

I couldn't think of anything else, Jake was _in love_ with my mom. Mom was in love with Jake. How could that be? What kind of sick world was this that I lived in where Jake and Mom had a thing and now Jake and _me_? My head was spinning. I couldn't speak. That couldn't be, Jake said they were friends.

"Ness, Ness, are you okay? What's wrong, Ness?" Seth jumped to his feet and started looking me over to make sure I was alright.

"Mom, and….Jake? Mom and _Jake!" _I shrieked. I was on my feet in an instant. I wondered what else they were hiding from me. I wanted to know the truth. I wanted to know about the day I was born too. _What horrible story lies hidden about that?_ I started making my way back to the house, forgetting that Seth was there but he caught up to me in a few seconds.

He grabbed my arm and turned me around. "Nessie! What is wrong?"

"Jake was in love with my _mother_! I don't know what you think of that but it seems pretty sick to me!" I couldn't hold back the tears. I felt them rolling down my face. Why was I crying? These tears were tears of betrayal. I felt that in some way they had betrayed me.

We were in Charlie's backyard now, and Seth held me, letting me cry on his shoulder. "Ness, that was a different time, things were different then." He tried to console me.

I saw from the corner of my eye that Jake was watching us, and I could guess that from his point of view our embrace didn't look like just a friendly hug. He phased and came over to us. "Seth what are you doing with Ness…" He stopped when he saw that I was crying. He tried to shift me from Seth's arms to his but I clung to Seth. I saw the pain on his face as he realized that I didn't want to be in his arms. He looked at Seth with pure fury in his eyes. "What. Is. Going. On. Seth?" He said each word separately through his teeth.

Seth didn't answer. I looked up at him. "Give us a minute, Seth," I managed to say. Seth left us alone to talk. "You were in love with my mom? And she loved you too. Of all the sick things to find out… what…why me now? My mom didn't want you so you waited from me? Am I a replacement Bella for you Jake?" I couldn't help but think that maybe that's all I was to him, the Bella that he longed for. When he looked into my eyes, maybe he didn't see me. Maybe he saw my mother. When he kissed me, maybe he imagined that he was kissing her.

Jacob didn't respond for a minute, he just stood there clenching and unclenching his jaw. He closed his eyes and sighed. "Nessie, let me explain please."

"Fine, explain," I said curtly.

He started to pace back and forth. "I'm trying to say this exactly right, but I don't know how to explain-"

I cut him off, "Were you in love with my mother?"

"Yes," he answered reluctantly.

"And she loved you too, but just not as much as she loved my dad?"

"Yes, but Ness-"

"Did you ever kiss her?"

It took him a while to answer, but I saw the answer in his eyes. "Yes." His eyes didn't meet mine as he answered; he looked down at his feet.

I took deep breaths. I felt like I was being betrayed, I knew it happened in the past and I knew we lived in the supernatural, but this…this was too weird. Jake and my _mom_? Could he just have been using me to fill the void that my mom had left when she didn't choose him? Would I forever live in my mother's shadow? Was I being compared to her? Could I ever live up to her legacy? Did he love me as much as he loved her? These questions filled my brain.

There was one more thing I had to know, I had to know about the day of my birth. "So the day that I was born…it couldn't have made you happy that I was Mom and Dad's and not Mom's and yours. I want to know exactly what you thought about that, and I want to know what Dad meant that morning I overheard the three of you." I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the worst.

He sighed. "Nessie-"

"THE TRUTH, JACOB!" I yelled.

He still couldn't deny me what ever I wanted, that hadn't changed. He was biting his lip, then he finally spoke, "You're right I wasn't happy, Nessie. I called you a little monster because you were killing Bella. You were breaking her ribs, and sucking the life out of her. I hated what you were doing to her. At the time I thought I hated you. After Bella gave birth to you her heart stopped, I tried to revive her, and then I gave up. I didn't feel tied to her anymore, I knew she was dead. I went downstairs, I saw you in Rosalie's arms and I was planning to kill you for what you did to her, but then I saw you, and I realized that you were the reason I was here. I …"

I couldn't breathe. I felt like everything was crashing down on me. He _hated _me then. He was planning to _kill_ me. The Jacob that I thought always loved me from the start thought I was a _monster_. I knew it all worked out in the end, I knew that it wasn't like that now, but this information still hurt. I couldn't stand to look at him right now, so I ran. I ran from him. He didn't follow me, but Seth did. I knew he could catch me, but he didn't. He let me run, he knew that was what I needed more than anything else right now was just to run, run away from the details of the horrible past. The past that was completely different from what I knew now, and what I always believed it to be. Finally we came to a stop and we were in front of the main house. I knew that there was supposedly some danger here, but I didn't care. I had to get away from Jacob and this was the only place I could go.

Seth caught up to me. "Ness, you know there is danger here, you're not supposed to come here until everything is safe."

I couldn't speak I just looked at Seth. "I couldn't… I can't." I hugged Seth and cried on his shoulder just as I had earlier. He looked down at me at the same moment I looked up at him. I knew the only way I could make Jacob feel as betrayed as I felt was to kiss Seth. Surprisingly, Seth kissed me back. It wasn't like kissing Jake, there was no burning and no need for him. It wasn't a short kiss either; it was like Seth _wanted_ to kiss me. I heard two sets of footsteps approaching us.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think ;)<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9: House Guests<strong>

"Renesmee, do you want to tell me why you're trying to break up the pack?" Dad asked in an even tone. His eyes sparkled with amusement.

I stopped kissing Seth and caught my breath. I looked around for the other set of footsteps I heard. I saw Jake standing there, his whole body trembling as he glared at me with pain filled eyes. "Because I wanted Jacob to feel as betrayed as I feel now," I said, looking at Jacob instead of Dad. I wanted him to realize just how much pain he had caused me. I knew that the kiss coupled with my statement would be too much for him. His tremors came more rapidly before he ultimately combusted into a wolf right before my eyes. Pained howls ripped through the air as he ran toward the forest.

Dad's eyes were questioning, so I replayed the entire day in my thoughts for him.

"Oh," was all he said. I ran to him and hugged him tight. At that moment I didn't want to see Jacob or Seth. I felt guilty for kissing Seth just to make Jake jealous, and I knew there would be a conversation at some point to discuss my actions. "Seth, can I have time alone with my daughter please?" Seth said nothing; he just walked away in a daze. "Nessie, I'm sorry you had to find out like that. We didn't want to tell you. I didn't want you to hurt like this."

We walked toward the house, and then he abruptly stopped. "Nessie, there are some _guests_ here."

I looked up, frightened. I had forgotten about the danger that was here. I just ran to the most comforting person I knew and that was my father. We had our differences, but when I was younger he was the one to always "make it better". When I'd wake up screaming in the middle of the night because the Volturi made an appearance in my dreams, it was always Dad that held me while I wept, and reassured me that they would never hurt me.

He pulled me into his arms and held me like he always did after my dreams. "It's okay, they won't hurt you. I know what they are thinking at all times." He kissed my forehead and walked me inside.

In the house I saw Grandpa, Grandma, and Mom. I really couldn't stand to look at her. Pangs of betrayal stabbed at my heart when I saw her. I also saw two unfamiliar people, a girl and a boy. They were beautiful. I thought that they must have been vampires, but I heard their hearts beating. They were like me…they were half beings. I realized at that moment that I had seen the boy before. It was ten years ago, I was still a baby at the time, but I remembered him. He was the one that saved me and my family from the Volturi. He looked exactly as I had remembered him, with rich dark brown skin, warm teak eyes, and long black hair. The girl looked like him. She was also beautiful, her skin the same as his; the only differences were that her hair was longer and her eyes were grey. What could have been their reason for coming here? Was there more trouble with the Volturi? Was something wrong? His eyes met my staring, half fearful eyes, and he smiled. He took a step toward me and I instinctively took a step back.

"Renesmee, I don't know if you remember me. It has certainly been a while, but I'll reintroduce myself. I'm Nahuel, and this is my sister Nema." He gestured toward the beautiful girl sitting on the couch beside Grandma.

"Hi, I remember you. It's because of you that I'm here, that _all_ of my family is here. I didn't get to thank you then, so I'm saying it now. Thank you."

"I'm glad that I could help, it's because of helping you and your family that I've been able to make amends with myself. I've been able to see myself not as a monster anymore, and not as the person that killed my mother to be born. I've been able to see that I'm not that person." So he thought of himself as a monster. The same way Jake had thought of me, because I was killing my mother. _I am a monster for doing that_. I felt a twinge of guilt as the thought was brought back to the surface.

I had forgotten that I was still holding my father's hand and as I thought that I was a monster he squeezed my hand. I knew that meant that I shouldn't think that, but the facts were there. Even Jacob thought so. I guess he would have thought that I was a monster even if I wasn't hurting Mom. I could only imagine what would have happened if I wasn't the object of his imprinting. I shuddered at the thought.

I didn't want to seem rude, but I couldn't stay there. I needed to be alone. I gave a feeble attempt at a smile. "It's very nice meeting you, Nema, and it's great to see you again, Nahuel. Could you all please excuse me?" I saw my mother get up to come after me, but Dad shook his head and she didn't pursue it. I was glad. I didn't want to talk to her right now.

I went to sit on the porch. I wasn't too far away, but I was still alone there. I sat on the steps and allowed myself to break down. I felt unwanted and not good enough. The fact would always remain that I wasn't Bella. I could never be who she was. I thought that Jake wanted me, but as reality set in I realized he'd always wanted my mother. My heart began to hurt as I thought back over our time together. I had foolishly and unknowingly given him what he wanted: First Beach and the driftwood tree, their place yet we spent a lot of time there; the garage, another place that was theirs that I felt was always my safe haven. I had become what he wanted, I was his Bella. My eyes were not mine when he looked into them, they were hers. The tears fell more rapidly then, the pain was crushing me. I wasn't loved because of who I was, I was loved because I was similar to who someone wanted me to be.

When the tears would fall no more, I sat there looking out into the woods. I knew Jacob was out there, and Seth probably was too-that is if Jacob hadn't killed him yet. As if I didn't have enough to think about, I had to figure out what I was going to do about Seth. I felt horrible for bringing him into my mess. It was official, I was a monster. I hurt innocent people. I put my head in my hands, so guilt ridden that I didn't feel fit to hold my head up. I heard someone come outside, but I didn't look up.

"Renesmee, is everything okay?" It was Nahuel. He didn't step closer. He must have wanted to give me my space.

"Yea, I'm great," I said sarcastically.

He sat down beside me. "Really, because from where I sit it looks as if there is something troubling you. Perhaps I could be of some assistance?"

I sighed. I knew that I should talk to someone. Why not someone that was outside of this whole mess? "Well today I found out that before I was born my mom and Jacob were in love with each other. He thought of me as a monster when my mom was pregnant with me, and if I was hurting her then I must have been a monster. On top of all that I kissed Seth, and I have to straighten that mess out. I hope Jacob doesn't kill him," I informed him without taking a breath.

"Well, I don't know who Jacob or Seth is, but I do know that you are not a monster. That is something I've come to realize, and you were even luckier than I was. You got to keep your mother. I killed my mother in the process of my birth, and so did my sisters. For a time I thought that our beings were murderers that killed the ones that carried them. I thought of myself that way for years, until I came here to help you. I saw that there was hope for our kind. I didn't murder her by choice, it was an accident. I didn't know when I was in the womb that I was hurting her. Renesmee, you are not a monster. If you were you wouldn't have all these loving people in your life." His words were sincere as were his eyes. I couldn't help but smile at his kindness.

"Thank you."

"So now about this Jacob and Seth, who are they? And can I assume that they are the reason for your mood?" His eyes lit with curiosity.

"Jacob and Seth are two of the wolves that were there that day, with the Volturi. Jacob is or maybe was my boyfriend, and Seth is or possibly was a member of Jake's pack. I found out today that before I was born he was in love with my mom and she was in love with him. I feel almost betrayed to find out about that. Am I wrong? Doesn't that seem a bit odd? My mother and my _boyfriend_? It makes me wonder if maybe he chose me because I reminded him of her."

"I agree it does seem a bit odd, but maybe you should find out from your mother and your maybe, maybe not boyfriend the whole story before you judge it. Now why is Jacob going to kill Seth?"

I sighed. I was beginning to think that talking about this was a bad idea. I could see that Nahuel was judging me. At the mention of Jacob and Seth, his whole body stiffened. The curiosity in his eyes dimmed, and the smile that occupied his face faded. He probably thought that I was a horrible person for kissing Seth. "Because I wanted Jake to feel as betrayed as I felt, so I kissed his pack member Seth. And since I'm Jake's soul mate, long story, I could have possibly put Seth in danger of death. I still don't know what I'm going to say to him about the kiss. He's my best friend, what can I say?"

Nahuel gave a short laugh. "You're going to have to figure that one out on your own. I don't know what to tell you about that."

"I guess I've got a lot of thinking to do." I felt better actually being able to talk this all through with someone, but I could tell I was making him uncomfortable. "How long are you and Nema here for?"

"Carlisle said that we are welcome to stay as long as we want. I like it here in Forks, the scenery is very beautiful," he said, staring into my eyes. There was something in his stare that made me blush. He smiled. "That is one of the most beautiful things I think I've ever seen."

I looked around to see what he was referring to. "What? I don't see anything."

"Why, I'm talking about you, Renesmee. When you were blushing, it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen." His gaze never left mine. He looked at me possessively, and it sent a shiver down my spine.

I blushed again and looked down at the grass. Something about him made me feel uneasy. "Oh. Thanks." I stood, inexplicably feeling the need to put some distance between Nahuel and me. "I think I'm going to go home now."

He smiled and nodded, acknowledging my statement.

Home seemed a foreign concept to me now. It had once represented comfort, safety, and love. I felt it at the cottage, the main house and the garage. Now my home held betrayal, heartache, and tears. As I turned the door knob to enter the cottage, I began to see it through different eyes. I saw traces of Mom around every corner, her legacy intimidating me at every turn. The tears overtook me as I entered my room. Greeting me was my favorite picture of me, Mom, and Jake. I was standing in front of Jake, he had one of his arms wrapped around me and the other wrapped around Mom in a sidelong hug. His head was slightly turned toward her, as if he were about to speak before the picture was taken. It would seem that it was a candid photo of us, yet now I know that was just false hope on my behalf. That picture held the truth that had all along been there. I was not the one he wanted; I was just the one that he could have.

The picture became blurry as tears clouded my vision. I tossed it backward with enough force that it hit the wall, knocking a hole in it. The hole matched the one in my heart. I picked up the picture from the floor. The glass was shattered, just like the illusion of Jacob's love for me.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think ;)<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10: Apologies<strong>

It had been two weeks since I'd found out the truth, and I still hadn't spoken to Jacob, Seth, or Mom. I'd been trying to wrap my mind around the whole thing. I didn't know who to talk to first. Seth would probably be the easiest to talk to, because we only had one little kiss to talk about.

I hadn't been spending all my time in my room pondering over this whole mess though. I actually had been spending the majority of my time with Dad. He was a little irritated because he had to listen to Jake's pained, miserable, worrisome thoughts. He also had to hear Seth's thoughts, but he wouldn't tell me what they were about. He just kept telling me that I needed to talk to him. He was also a bit irked with Nahuel. He liked him even less than he liked Jacob.

Nahuel and I had been spending a lot of time together as well. He listened to all my complaints about the recent developments I'd made, and sometimes he even offered his opinion. He was a charmer, he spent most of our time together complimenting me, or looking at me like he was seeing a world wonder, or a beautiful sight. There was definitely something about him that I liked, but at the same time there was also something about him that made me uneasy. There were times when his charm faltered and intensity took its place. It seemed that he was trying hard to prove to me that I didn't need Jacob or Seth.

I got up from the kitchen table and kissed my father on the cheek. "Bye, Dad." I didn't even acknowledge Mom's presence anymore.

"Young lady, where are you going?"

"I'm going to talk to Seth. Is he in the woods with Jacob?"

"Yes, but don't go far. I don't want you out of my hearing range with _Nahuel_ around."

_Dad! I don't want you to hear my conversation with Seth! Can't I have some type of privacy in my personal life?_ I thought.

"I won't listen to you two. I'll tune you out. I'll focus on something else. _Nahuel_ perhaps."

I smiled and hugged him. "Thanks, Dad. I really need this. I have to get this whole mess with Seth straightened out. I miss my best friend."

_And I really miss Jacob, _I thought, my face turning sad.

He kissed my forehead. "I know. Things will get better just give them time. You just needed time to work things out for yourself. Now you have to talk about these things and sort them out. I know you'll make the right decisions."

I smiled. "I'll stay close." I went toward the main house and turned toward the woods. "Seth, are you out there? Can I talk to you?"

I didn't hear a reply, so I waited. I was nervous, my hands were sweaty, and my mouth was dry. With this one conversation my whole friendship with Seth could be over. I didn't want that to happen.

A few seconds later, I saw Seth coming out of the woods. He smiled, but his eyes didn't meet mine. "Hi."

"You're alive, that's great. I was so worried that Jacob was going to kill you." I tried to make my voice light, but I couldn't hide my relief.

"Believe me he wanted to. He even tried, but Leah wasn't going to stand back and let that happen."

"Seth, I'm so sorry about the kiss. I wanted to…I wanted to make Jake feel what I felt. I really didn't expect you to kiss me back, though!" I hit him on the arm, knowing that it wouldn't hurt him.

A cocky grin occupied his lips. "I can't apologize for that. I actually wanted to kiss you."

"You what?" What on earth could make Seth want to kiss me?

"Ness, I love you, you know that, but I've always liked you a little more than I should, maybe even loved you a little more than I should. I know that I can't be sure since you're the first girl I've felt this way about, but-"

"Seth… you… what?" I was speechless, how could he feel this way toward me? I belonged to Jake, but I did love Seth too. How could I not, he was my best friend? I loved him almost as much as I loved Jake. Was it possible that I felt the same way Seth did? My head was spinning.

"I know you're thinking that can't be, but didn't it feel like something was there when we kissed? Don't you see the way I look at you sometimes? Ness, you are the definition of beautiful inside and out. We spent so much time together before, and I got to know you…" He stopped as he processed the shock on my face. I couldn't process any of the words he was saying. He was bombarding me with questions and waiting for an answer. When I didn't respond he continued, "If you're unsure, kiss me again. If there's nothing there then, fine, we go back to being friends. If there is, well I don't know what then, but we can figure that out."

I said nothing. What could I say to him that wouldn't hurt his feelings? Deep down was there more to the reasoning that I kissed him? He couldn't be right; if he was why wouldn't he have imprinted on me? Before I realized it Seth was right in front of me. His head was leaning down toward mine, our lips nearly touching. The first time I'd kissed him to spite Jacob. With the spite gone, surely he would see that there was no passion between us. I put my arms around his neck and Seth responded by putting his arms around my waist and pulling me closer. I still felt nothing for him. No spark, no tingling, no burning, nothing. What was I doing? Allowing Seth to believe that there was something that there clearly wasn't. How could I have been so stupid as to kiss him again?

I pulled away from him. "Seth, no, I'm not the girl for you. That's already been decided. Do you know how much we're hurting Jake right now?" It was funny that I hated him but still didn't want to hurt him, well at least not this much.

"I know, but I feel something for you, Ness. Didn't you feel it too?"

"It doesn't matter. I belong with Jake, and you belong with the girl that's meant for you." I didn't want to hurt Seth. I didn't want to tell him that I felt nothing for him. I walked over and sat on the porch, and he joined me.

"I'm sorry. It's just when you kissed me…I haven't kissed anyone in a long time…I've been waiting on my true love…I've known you your whole life, and I do love you, Ness."

"I love you too, Seth. You're my best friend. You've been there for me through everything. But you have to know that I'm not the girl for you. You have to know that. When you imprint you'll understand what you feel for me is nothing more than friendship."

"I just wish that day would come soon. Jake has known for a while that I sort of have some feelings for you, and he resents me for that. I don't mean anything by it, you're the only girl I've ever had a real friendship with, and somewhere I guess I blurred that line between friendship and more."

"I take credit for that. _I _did kiss _you_ and I'm sorry." _It's a sad day when you kiss a guy and instantly he believes he's in love. _

"That's okay, Ness." He laughed. "You know you are more like your mother than you know."

_As if I hadn't heard that enough over the past few months, and now upon new findings I tend to resent that comparison. I am nothing like her! _"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked defensively.

"This situation. Your best friend loves you a little bit more than he should, but all you ever see him as is a friend. Yet you love your boyfriend more than you could ever love anyone else. You've also kissed us both. It sounds a lot like the Bella – Edward – Jacob story to me." He was trying to put the situation in perspective for me in a very sly way, but my stubborn streak was not allowing any understanding as far as Jacob and my mom were concerned.

"Oh great. What's next, me and Jake get married, I have a little monster that nearly kills me and you imprint on my baby?" I ask sarcastically.

"Well I hope not. I don't want to go through that, because I've waited long enough to imprint. I don't want to have to wait, who knows how many years, for a vampire-human- wolf baby." He laughed and stood. "I better go patrol and get prepared for the fight."

"Fight?"

"You don't think Jake is going to let me kiss you like that and there be no consequences, do you?"

"Oh no! Seth you two can't fight!" I looked into his eyes. "Make sure Jake sees this when you phase. Jake…I know things are messed up right now, but this is not Seth's fault. I caused this. DO NOT fight Seth. I'm going to talk to you about this I just need to talk to Mom first. When I'm ready, I'll come find you."

"I'll make sure it's the first thing he sees when I phase." He hugged me and kissed me on the forehead. "Things will get better, Ness, I promise."

I smiled. "You would promise me the world if you knew I wanted it."

"I sure would," he said as he left.

I sat there with my head in my hands thinking of how bad I'd messed things up. Things were really awful when you kiss your best friend and make him believe that he's in love you. I couldn't help but think of that kiss with Seth a few minutes ago. I did kiss him back, and I hated myself for that. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Trying to appease him when I should have just said no got me in deeper. What was wrong with me? Well I'd always wanted a normal teenage life, and boy trouble was a part of that, or at least it was on TV, so I guess I got what I asked for.

I heard someone approach. "Was that Jacob that just left?" Nahuel asked.

"No it was Seth," I mumbled into my hands.

"So I take it that it didn't go well?"

"No, it went okay, but I kissed him again."

"I thought the point of you two talking was for you to straighten the whole kissing thing out." He sounded almost angry that I had kissed Seth. That was odd. He had no reason to feel so personally affected by this.

"It was, but I've only confused things even more than they were. I don't know what to do. I've got to fix all this, some how. The more this goes on the more I hurt Jake and Seth."

"I'm sorry, Renesmee. I hope you work things out with Seth." I noticed that he didn't mention Jake, but I decided to ignore that. "You're too beautiful to have worry lines." He tried to smooth the wrinkle in my forehead when I looked up at him. I knew he liked me too, but the last thing on my mind was the silly little crush that he could possibly have on me.

"Thanks." I blushed in spite of myself. I didn't want to risk leading him on too, so I changed the subject. "My next task is not going to be easy. I have to talk to my mother about her relationship with Jake."

Nahuel laughed. "Good luck with that."

I started walking back to my parents' cottage. This was going to be hard, but I needed to hear her side of this. Maybe everything would make sense then. When I was half way there I saw Dad on his way to the main house. "I know you two need your privacy to talk this out."

I smiled. "Thanks, Dad."

He looked at me sternly. "You kissed Seth again? Renesmee, what am I going to do with you?"

"Dad…I…"

He kissed me on my forehead. "Everything's going to be fine."

I walked into the house; Mom was standing at the window. She had been watching Dad and me. "Mom…can we talk…about…" It was difficult for me to say the next words out loud. "About you and Jake…the way you were…I want to understand, but I can't."

She sighed and sat on the couch. She patted the seat beside her and I sat down. "Nessie, we didn't tell you because that was a time that neither of us wanted to remember. It was hard for Jake, it hurt him, it hurt Edward, and to see that _I _was the one causing all this pain hurt me. We wanted to protect you from the pain that we felt all those years ago. There was no reason to hurt you too. Everything is the way it should be now."

"But, Mom, that doesn't change the fact that it hurts. Everything is _the way it should be_? That doesn't make me feel better! It still hurts me to know that he loved you the way he claims to love me now! How do I know that I'm not just your replacement?" I yelled. "Could you explain what happened? I thought out of everyone, if you explained then I'd be able to understand."

"Okay, Nessie, it started when your dad left me. He thought that all the danger I was in was because he was in my life, so he left. And I was exactly like you were when you couldn't see Jake. One day I went to La Push to see Jake and instantly I was better, he was like my personal sun. I didn't feel the same as I did with Edward, but I was as happy as I could be in a world without him. That wasn't too happy though. Jake was my best friend, and we spent a lot of time together. I knew that he loved me, and I knew I shouldn't lead him on, but something wouldn't let me leave him. I couldn't end our friendship because that would hurt too much. Jake knew that I couldn't love him as much as I loved Edward, and that hurt him. I was constantly hurting Jake. Edward came back and to Jake that was like choosing Edward over him, so we didn't talk for a while. There was always that nagging need for me to have Jacob in my life. I felt like my world was not complete if I didn't have Edward and Jacob. I know that is selfish but there was a reason for that, and I'm able to look back on it and see what was holding us together."

"What was the thing holding you two together?"

She smiled and touched my nose. "You."

_That couldn't be right._ "How was I holding you together? I wasn't even born yet?"

"Our world works so mysteriously. I've had a lot of time to think about my human life, and I've come to realize that Jake and I had to have a bond; we had to be in one another's lives. If we weren't, he wouldn't have met the person that was meant for him. Renesmee, everything happens for a reason. The reason Jacob and I were so close, that every time we tried to break our bond we always ended up back in each other's lives, is you. I was drawn to Jacob and he was drawn to me. When I was pregnant I could feel the force drawing me to him, I just didn't know why it was happening, and I couldn't stop it. No matter how much we tried to put distance between us it never worked, because he needed to be a part of my life for _you_. The universe had you in our plans all along."

That was when it hit me, when I thought about it; the pieces were all there. They couldn't stay apart because I was the one that was meant for Jacob. He had to be tied to Mom in a big way so that he would be around when I came into the world. Neither of them had a choice in the matter. "Oh Mom, I'm sorry I got so angry about it. I just wish you had told me. If you would have sat me down and told me _this_ story, it wouldn't have hurt. I would have understood. I understand now." I hugged her.

"I'm glad, Nessie. I actually wanted to tell you but your father thought it would hurt you, so I didn't."

Mom's reasoning made me feel less like the replacement Bella, and more like my own person. It was me that had drawn them together, my presence that the universe was planning for. I needed to talk to Jake; I needed to get things straight with him. "I need to go talk to Jake."

"Things will work out, I know they will," she cheered me on.

I walked outside. It was starting to get dark. I walked toward the main house and then turned toward the woods like I had today. I wasn't as nervous as I had been earlier. I was calm, and almost confident that I could make things right. I knew that all I had to do was apologize to Jake. _Surely he would forgive me, wouldn't he?_

"Jake?" I called. He didn't answer, so I began to walk into the woods where I knew he would be. I could smell his scent, I knew he was there. "Jacob, would you please talk to me?" I walked further into the woods following his scent until I saw him, still in his wolf form. "Please talk to me." I ran my fingers through his fur. How could I not know that he would be angry with me for kissing Seth- not once but twice? When he still didn't respond I turned to leave. "Well, when ever you want to talk you know where to find me." I didn't get far before I felt his warm hand grab mine. My heart rate accelerated and the butterflies in my stomach went wild, as I felt his hand in mine.

"You were going to give up that easily?" His smile was distorted with pain as he gazed down at me.

I turned around and looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry." I looked down at our hands. "I only kissed Seth because I wanted you to feel what I was feeling."

"And today?" His voice was cold, pained, and angry.

"I don't know," I whispered. "I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I'd already used him, so-" I was rambling and I knew it, but before I could continue Jacob cut me off.

"Do you love him, Renesmee?" he asked, raising my chin so that he could look into my eyes.

"I…I…yes, he's my best friend, of course I love him. But not like he thinks he loves me, Jake, I love you," I pleaded. He took a sigh of relief, but said nothing. I stood on my tip toes and reached up to caress his cheek. "I love _you_, Jacob Black. Mom put everything in perspective for me. I don't blame either of you for what happened anymore." I saw a hint of a smile but his face went back to being serious again. "There's one more thing I need to know before I can let the past rest. Do you love me because I remind you of her or do you love the person that I am?"

"I love you, not Bella. You don't have to compete with your mom. I don't see her when I look at you. I see this beautiful, intelligent girl that I've fallen for harder than I ever thought possible." He gave me one chaste kiss and began to speak again, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you from the beginning about the past. I'm glad that it all happened though. Without it, there would be no you. I-"

"You really talk too much." I wrapped my arms around his neck moving my body closer to him as I tilted my head upward so that our lips could meet again. I could have stood there for hours kissing Jake. When we broke for air I said, "Jake, promise me that no matter what we won't be with out each other ever again. I'm getting very tired of losing you, then getting you back, then losing you again."

He smiled, picked me up, and started walking toward the main house. "I promise." We went into the house where my entire family, Nahuel, and Nema were.

He finally put me down. I saw a look of disgust on Nahuel's face. "Hey everyone. Nema and Nahuel, this is Jacob." I smiled. "Jacob, this is Nahuel and Nema." I pointed to each of them as I said their names.

"It's very nice to meet you, Jacob." Nema smiled shyly.

"You too, Nema," Jake replied.

"I've heard a lot about you, Jacob. Finally, I get to see the cause of Renesmee's distress." Nahuel smiled wickedly and this angered me. Nahuel called himself my friend and the first thing he did was insult the man that I loved.

I looked at Jake pleading with my eyes for him to be nice. I could feel his hand trembling in mine. "Thanks for listening to Nessie when she needed a friend. It's nice to meet you." I took a sigh of relief. I was glad Jake was going to be the bigger person in this situation, even though Nahuel had resulted to insults.

I heard my dad snort. At that moment all eyes were on him. "Dad, what is funny?" I asked.

He seemed to find something comical because he was chuckling away as if he didn't hear me. "Edward, would you care to share the joke with the rest of us?" Mom asked.

Dad looked at her still laughing. "Later, love."

I sighed. _If only I could have been so lucky. It would be nice to be able to read minds._

"Both a gift and a curse," he answered my thought. I smiled.

"Edward…can Nessie go to La Push with me?" Jake interrupted our father-daughter moment. I smiled, hoping Dad would agree. I hadn't been to La Push in a long time. Well, since Nahuel got here. His presence was really going to be a problem if he didn't like Jacob.

Dad sighed. "Keep her safe, Jacob. If she comes back altered in any way, I will hunt you down and kill you myself."

"Edward, you always have been dramatic." Jake rolled his eyes. "Besides, I would _never_ let anything happen to Renesmee." He put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. I instinctively wrapped both of my arms around his waist and laid my head on his chest.

I saw my Dad's eyebrow raise as he looked at Nahuel. I followed his gaze, and Nahuel's smile had turned into a grimace. _You _have_ to tell me what he's been thinking this whole time. I'm curious,_ I thought.

Dad smiled, but something was off about his smile.

Jake was about to walk out the door when I stopped him. "Wait." I walked over to Mom and hugged her. "Thanks for everything."

"Anything for you, Nessie." She smiled and went on to hug Jacob. "Bring her back in exactly the same condition that she's in now, or I will break every bone in your body _before_ Edward kills you," she joked.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think ;)<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 11: Apologies<strong>

I watched the houses and trees pass us by as Jake drove to La Push. It felt like an eternity had passed since I'd been there. I smiled as trees started to thin and a few houses appeared—all signs that we were in La Push. When he parked the car in front of his house instead of in the garage, I was confused. "Why aren't you parking in the garage?"

He shrugged as he got out of the care, came around to open my door, and took my hand, looking into my eyes. "I really am sorry for keeping things from you. It's in my nature to protect you from pain. It seems like I've been causing you more pain than I've been protecting you from, huh?"

"It's not your fault the past happened. It happened for a reason and I understand that now." I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. "Now can we go to the garage?"

"Yes." He took my hand and we walked to the garage.

As soon as we got there, I stopped at the opening. The garage was beautiful. There was a table set up in the middle of the room; a white table cloth with intricate patterns weaving through the lace occupied it. There was a vase full of violets in the center of the table. There was also dinner on the table; it smelled like we were going to have omelets, among other things. All around the garage there were flowers –mostly violets and pink roses- and twinkling lights. A couch and a small TV, with a small stack of all my favorite DVDs beside it, occupied the corner. It was put together so beautifully that I didn't even recognize the garage. I was speechless. I stood there amazed and in awe.

"Do you like it?" he asked, looking a little disappointed.

"I love it," I whispered. "It's beautiful. Who did this?"

"I think you know at least one of the people responsible for this." A smile brightened his face.

He was right, the lights, the flowers, the elaborate beauty of it all could only be the work of one person… "Aunt Alice."

"Yep, with the help of Quil and Embry. They saw you coming into the woods to talk to me when we were in our wolf form. They assumed that we were going to make up, and they cleaned it up for Alice to work her magic. Your dad and mom were even in on it. They prepared dinner for us." Jake gestured toward the table. He took my hand and led me to the table, pulling out my chair like a perfect gentlemen.

"Wow! It's perfect and it's beautiful." My dad had prepared some sort of elaborate egg omelet as well as a few other things for us and Mom had supplied a triple chocolate cake for dessert. The meal and dessert tasted wonderful. I had everything I could ever want in that moment. I had my favorite foods, my favorite flowers, and the man of my dreams. Who could ask for more?

At that moment Jake asked, "What are you thinking?"

"How perfect this night is, how I have everything I could possibly want right now." He smiled, took my hand, and led me to the couch. He turned on the TV, and we watched my favorite movie, _A Cinderella Story_. This movie, though as different from the main characters as we were, reminded me of my relationship with Jake. It proved that people from different walks of life could, indeed, fall for each other. It was a fairytale romance, much like Jake's and mine. Sam was plain compared to Austin, as was I compared to Jacob. Jacob was stunningly handsome, sweet, caring, and had a sense of humor that was unique. He was the perfect guy that most fantasy guys couldn't even live up to, and he was all mine. I silently thanked the Imprinting Gods for awarding me with this beautiful man.

While leaning against Jacob as his arms encased me, I looked around this perfect place. After spending so much time away, making up this way seemed perfect, or almost so. I could think of one thing that would make this perfect, but Jacob would never agree. He tended to avoid me like the plague if we came remotely close to having sex. He was too afraid of my parents to let our physicality get that far. I smiled as a thought came to me. "You know, I thought Mom and Dad were threatening you because they were worried about my safety, but that's not what they were worried about."

Jake looked confused. "You lost me."

"They said 'bring her back in exactly the same _condition_ that she's in now'. They weren't talking about my safety, Jake. They were talking about _other _things."

"Oh _oh!_" Jake finally realized what I was talking about. "I told you they'd kill me," he joked. "I got two threats against my life, each by your parents, and sex wasn't even in the plans for tonight."

I laughed. "No, you only got one. Dad threatened to kill you. Mom only threatened to break all your bones."

After the movie was over Jake got up and yawned. "You ready to go to bed?"

"No," I whined. "It's just so beautiful in here; can't we sleep on the couch?"

Jake bent down and kissed me. "It's a little small, but I don't have any problems sleeping with your body pressed tightly against mine." As we lay down, he made good on his promise by holding me tight as I drifted off to sleep.

That night was one of the best nights of my life. I slept in Jake's arms, in our special place. As usual Jake snored, and that sound was like music to my ears. His rhythmic breathing, steadily beating heart and occasional mutterings came together like a perfectly orchestrated symphony to my ears. It was as relaxing as listening to the sounds of the ocean. His warm body wrapped around mine provided warmth that not even the thickest blanket could provide, and the peaceful smile that rested on his flawless lips conveyed his contentment in our embrace. The last word that flowed through my mind as I took in the angel lying next to me was _lucky_. And lucky I was for being bestowed with the gift of Jacob's unconditional love, when I didn't deserve it.

When I woke up that morning, Jake wasn't there. Seth was there sitting at the table instead. "Seth? Where's Jake?"

"He had some important pack business to tend to. He told me to stay here with you until he gets back." Just great, Seth and I had worked nothing out. There was awkwardness with us because of the way Seth felt about me.

"Oh. Is there anything to eat? I'm starved." I asked, trying to end the awkward silence.

"Sure, Billy made breakfast. I brought it out here for you." He gestured toward two plates sitting on the table.

I took a seat across from him. The atmosphere at the table was so different than it had been a few hours earlier. Instead of all the love and happiness that surrounded this place last night, there was silence and unease. There was almost a sense of not belonging; this garage was mine and Jacob's special place. It didn't feel right with Seth sitting in Jacob's spot. I smiled, trying to remember that this was my best friend. "Thanks, Seth, you didn't have to do that. I could've gotten it."

"It was no problem, Ness." He looked at me and for the first time, I noticed the differences in Seth that I had been ignoring. His eyes were more adoring, his smile was warmer, and it seemed almost flirtatious. We were quiet for a while. I wondered what he was thinking about, but I was almost afraid to ask, fearing that I was the subject of his thoughts. His eyes never left mine, they were constantly on me, adoring.

The silence was almost overbearing. I spoke his name at the same time that he spoke mine. I forced a smile to hide my discomfort. "Seth, we need to talk." He sighed, knowing what I wanted to talk about. "I love Jacob; he's your brother and my soul mate."

"I know, Ness, but I can't turn off my feelings for you. I feel like you're more than a friend."

"That's because I'm the only girl you've ever been close to. Look at it this way: if I let go of Jake, just for a second, to see what I have with you, I would hurt him, and you would hurt me when you imprint. Do you want that? Do you want to hurt me, Seth?" I pleaded with him.

"No, I don't. I would never want to hurt you. I just wish I could find my soul mate so I could figure out what it feels like. So I won't mistake the feelings I have for you for something they're not."

"You'll find her, I'm sure. You're just eager to imprint, and you're confusing things. You know as well as I do that we would never be good together. You've always thought of me as a friend, a sister. Would you ever kiss Leah?"

"Eww! Ness, c'mon that is gross! Why'd you have to say that? You know I'd never kiss Leah!" He unwillingly added, "You're right, I'm probably just too eager to have someone to love in my life. I'll try to cool it with the thoughts and feelings." He leaned across the table our faces were only an inch apart, and I could tell that he was going to kiss me.

I leaned back. "Seth, I thought you were going to cool it with the feelings."

"I am. Just think of it as a kiss goodbye. We're saying goodbye to all the weirdness, and things are going to go back to the way they were."

"Okay, if it's going to help you move on." I leaned in and kissed Seth for the third time. I heard footsteps. Great, Jacob had come back.

"You know you're really going to have to stop kissing _my_ girlfriend, Seth. I'm so close to ripping you to shreds." Jacob's voice was deadly. "And, Nessie, _you_ have to make up your mind. There is no way you love Seth and me too. I've lived through that once, I'm not up for it again." This was the first time Jacob was ever harsh toward me.

I looked at him. "Jacob, it's not what you think."

"Did you not have napkins, so you decide to wipe his mouth with your lips? He's choking so you're giving him mouth to mouth resuscitation? Or let me guess, you tripped and his lips broke your fall? I'll tell you what I think just happened," he interrupted me. "I think you were kissing Seth again. I think that Seth has you wrapped around his finger, making you feel sorry for him. Let me guess, he's telling you he's never had a girlfriend-bull shit, he has-, he's never kissed anyone but you – he's kissed quite a few-and you fall for it. What? Do you two not even care what it does to _me_ every time I see you kiss him? Do you not care at all, Seth, what it does to me when I see you think about _my_ girlfriend in _your_ mind? And Renesmee, after the greatest night, in _our _special place, you taint it by kissing him!" He was trembling all over. It was taking what little patience he had left not to phase.

"Shut up, Jacob, and…"

He interrupted me again, "Shut up, Jacob? After you kissed him in our place, after you've tainted all the great memories we have here, you say _shut up, Jacob_?" He was furious and the trembling got worse.

"Listen to me, just listen please!" I begged. "There is nothing between Seth and me but friendship." I could see in his eyes that he didn't believe it, so I put my palm to his cheek. I showed him the whole conversation, and the reason for the kiss.

"So that's it? It's over? No more trying to be more than friends with, Nessie?" he asked Seth.

"No, I will keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. I know that I can only be her best friend, nothing more. I'm sorry for all of this."

"Just don't let it happen again." The hostility towards Seth was still in Jake's voice. Seth took the hint and started to leave.

"It's okay, Seth. Really it's okay. I'll see you later." I smiled and waved when he left.

I turned to Jacob. "I'm sorry. I guess you hate me again, huh? I don't mean to always do the wrong thing or make the wrong choices, but, Jake, I'm new to this. I don't know what the right thing to do is sometimes."

"I know. I guess I shouldn't be too mad. I did kiss Bella years ago; I guess this is sort of like payback."

I stood on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck. He leaned down so I could kiss him. "I'm sorry." I kissed him again, and I let my lips drift to his neck. "I'm going to spend a lifetime making this up to you." My lips found his again, and I kissed him with all the passion that I had. I kissed him more ardently than I ever had before.

He pulled away to catch his breath. His voice was breathy and husky as he replied, "You're doing a pretty good job of making it up to me now." I didn't know if he had more to say, because I started kissing him again. He pulled me closer to him. His warm hands slowly slid down my body and rested on my hips. I remembered biting Jacob when I was younger; I wasn't venomous so I wouldn't hurt him. I gently bit his bottom lip and I felt one of his hands squeeze my hip. "Nessie," he breathed, as he pulled away. "Could you be good, because I'm pretty sure this is not something Edward would approve of?"

I didn't want to be away from him for even a second and I knew that at some point this would end, so I jumped into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist. "Edward, Edward, Edward. Are you dating my dad or me? He's not going to kill you. He wouldn't dare. He knows how much that would hurt me."

Jacob snorted. "You don't know him too well, do you?" I sighed in defeat.

Just then my phone started vibrating on the table. Jacob saw that I was making no move to answer it, so he walked over to the table, with me still clinging to him, and answered it. "Hello, Edward, what's up?" He raised an eyebrow and smirked at me as I began placing feather light kisses along his neck. "Yeah, where else would she be?" His eyes squeezed shut and he bit his lips, trying to muffle a moan as I gently bit his neck. His breathe came in quick gasps when the tip of my tongue traced a line up to his earlobe and I began to nibble on his ear, while he waited for the response on the other end of the phone. "I was closer to the phone and she told me to get it." He listened again. "Sure, sure."

I reluctantly untangled myself from him and held out my hand for the phone. Jacob walked over to the couch and I followed him, going to sit in his lap. "Hi, Dad. I loved the omelet, it was amazing."

"Renesmee, why was Jacob answering your phone?" I should have known I was going to have to explain to him.

"He was closer to it." I kept my answer short due to my in ability to lie. "I talked to Seth. Jacob left this morning to do stuff for the pack and he told Seth to stay with me. Everything's back to normal, I hope."

"Oh," my dad said, almost sounding sad that we were back to normal. "Well, Nessie, it's time to come home. I let you stay over for the night, because I knew you'd be brought back in the same condition you left here in, but that doesn't mean you don't have to come home. I expect to see you within the next 30 minutes."

"Fine. I'll see you later, Dad." I hung up the phone and turned to Jake. "We have to go."

We made our way back home, and we went into the cottage. "Morning, Mom." I hugged her, and it felt great to be on good terms with her again. Dad came from their room. "We made it with time to spare." I smiled smugly. "You still have to tell me what Nahuel was thinking yesterday."

Dad chuckled. "He was quite funny at first, and not too fond of Jacob. He had a lot of _colorful_ words that I wouldn't feel comfortable repeating to describe him when they first met. What bothered me was that his thoughts turned violent when you wrapped your arms around Jacob. He has become possessive and thinks of you as his."

"Oh, he does? I'll straighten that out today," I said as Jake's arms tightened around me.

"Nessie, I don't want you anywhere near him," Jacob said through his teeth.

"It's fine, he's my friend. I'll just explain to him that there's nothing more for us."

"Stay close so I can hear him, Renesmee," Dad advised me.

I was about to lead Jake back to my room when he hesitated. "I've got to go, Nessie."

"You're not staying with me today?" I asked, my voice starting to fill with panic as I walked with him to his car.

"I've been neglecting my pack duties lately, and I have to start doing my share. Since I am the Alpha, it would be a good idea for me to start acting like the leader." He kissed me tenderly. "I'll be checking in, don't worry."

"Okay, go be Alpha, I'll see you later," I mumbled.

I walked over to the main house to see the rest of my family, and mouth watering aromas flooded my senses as I was walking over. _Food in a house full of vampires that don't eat_, I laughed at the thought. _They must be cooking for the pack today_. As I was walking up, I saw Seth. "You must be heading toward the source of that smell." This was the first time I'd seen him since he decided that things could be normal between us. I watched him cautiously to see if anything had changed.

"Yea, Esme wanted to cook for us, and since I'm not on patrols right now, I'm going to eat," he said, his eyes not meeting mine. Other than that, he was my best friend Seth. He wasn't adoring me or invading my personal space. He kept a good bit of distance between us as we walked, and his eyes never left the ground. I felt guilty for causing Seth's half hearted attempt at normalcy. No matter what I tried to do we could never go back to being the same again.

"I should have known. There is no way the smell of food gets past a wolf." I tried to lighten the mood as we walked into the house. Nema and Grandma Esme were in the kitchen, while Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper watched a football game on television. Aunt Rose and Aunt Alice were looking at a fashion magazine, and Aunt Alice was telling her what styles would last and which ones wouldn't. Grandpa Carlisle and Nahuel were discussing something upstairs in his office. "Hi, everyone. I smelled food, and I brought along a hungry wolf. I hope you don't mind," I said as I walked in.

"Come on in the kitchen you two. We're just finishing up," Grandma told us.

As we walked in the kitchen Seth asked, "Has Jacob gone back to La Push? I know he said he was going to start being…" He broke off mid sentence. He wasn't looking at me, he was staring at Nema.

"Seth, that's Nema, she's Nahuel's sister. Nema this is Seth, he's one of Jacob's pack brothers." Seth didn't take his eyes off of her as I spoke. He didn't even acknowledge that I was speaking. I didn't understand at first what was happening. "Seth, are you alright? Seth?" He never looked at me as I spoke. Nema blushed, but she couldn't keep her eyes off of Seth either.

Seth walked over to her. "Hi," he said as his eyes never left hers.

"Hi," she replied, her gaze just as intense as his.

I didn't want to interrupt this perfect moment, but I wanted to be sure. "Seth! Did you just…?" I didn't finish, he was going to have to explain to Nema what was going on.

He finally looked away from her long enough to smile at me. "Yes."

I smiled back. "I told you so." I got my food and left the room. I knew they had a lot to talk about. Imprinting was definitely a complicated thing to understand, especially to a complete stranger. I wondered how this was going to affect Nema. Was she going to leave and go back to where she came from now? Was Seth going with her? That thought hurt. Seth couldn't leave, he just couldn't. He was my best friend. What would I do without him? Nema could stay, she could live with us, or in La Push with Seth. Or at least I hoped that was the decision she would make.

I sat on the porch and ate my food. After a few minutes, Nahuel joined me. "Hi, Nahuel," I said with my mouth full of food.

He laughed and sat next to me. "For a vampire, Esme is a good cook, isn't she?"

"She sure is. Dad's better though. He made me and Jake dinner last night, and it tasted amazing."

"Oh, so I guess… you and the wolf made up?" he asked with a slight hint of disgust in his voice.

"Yes, we belong together. That's how it was meant to be."

"But what if there was another option, Renesmee? I know you have two wolves staking their claims on you, what if you had an option number three?"

I looked at him, confused. "What are you talking about, Nahuel?"

"I haven't been completely honest with you about my reasons for coming here. You see, you are the only other female being of my kind that isn't related to me. I came here for you." His hand caressed my cheek and his eyes bore into mine intensely and possessively as he leaned in to kiss me.

I turned away. "Nahuel, I'm sorry, but I belong with Jake. I've messed things up enough times to know that I can't be without him. I'm sorry that I'm the only girl of our beings that isn't related to you, but I'm not the girl for you."

I got up to leave, and he grabbed my wrist. "But you are. I saved your life; I saved your whole family's life." His grip on me got tighter, it started to hurt.

"You're hurting me." I tried to wriggle free.

I had hit a nerve, and I saw it in his cold, deadly eyes. "I saved you and you repay me by rejecting me for some _dog_? The dog that _I_ saved from the Volturi," he spat the words at me, and tightened his grip on me.

I punched him in the face with my free hand and tried to pull my hand free but he just pulled me closer to him. "You're hurting me, Nahuel. Stop!" I yelled. In a flash I was in the yard with Seth, and Nahuel was surrounded by Uncle Emmett, Uncle Jasper, and Grandpa Carlisle.

"Are you alright, Ness?" Seth asked me, seeming to look me over to make sure I wasn't hurt.

"I'm okay, he was just hurting my wrist, that's all," I lied, trying to convince not only him, but myself that I was not shaken by this ordeal.

Seth knew me all too well. He knew that I wasn't alright. My best friend saw the tears about to spill from my eyes and said, "I'm going to go call Jacob." He hugged me and went into the woods.

Three minutes later, Jacob was coming into the clearing. He ran to me and wrapped his arms around me. "Are you okay?"

I couldn't speak, I just cried. Nahuel had saved my life, my family's life, the pack's life, and I couldn't repay him. I couldn't choose him. I felt so guilty, so scared. I couldn't forget that look in his eyes, how angry he was that I was choosing Jacob.

A second later I heard my mom and dad approach. Mom attempted to pass me from Jacob's arms to hers, but he was not allowing that.

"How is she?" Dad asked.

"Since I got here, all she's done is cry. She looks okay, but she hasn't said anything yet," Jacob told him.

"Where is _he_?" Dad's voice was lethal.

"I don't know, but when I find him…" Jacob didn't finish his sentence.

"No. He's mine," Dad said.

"NO!" Mom and I said at the same time.

"He…he saved our lives. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. You can't hurt him." How crazy was I defending him after he hurt me? I started crying again and Jake pulled me closer to him. I was a mix of emotions all at once and crying was the only thing I knew to do. I was scared, angry, and grateful to Nahuel all at the same time. Yes, he had saved me and I was grateful, but had crossed the line with his actions tonight and that angered me. I had befriended him and he repaid me by attacking me for not wanting to be the wife of a lunatic.

"Everything's going to be okay, Nessie. It will be alright." He kissed the top of my head. "He's not going to hurt you again. I'll make sure of that."

"No." It was Mom that spoke this time. "I'll have a word with _him_."

"I am very sorry." A quiet voice came from behind us. It was Nema. She looked pained by this whole situation. She was holding Seth's hand, and looking very concerned. "You must understand that my brother has spent his whole life searching for a mate that was like him. When he saved Renesmee, he came to think that she was the one. He thought that if he waited until she was fully matured, she would be his. He came here to ask her to marry him. I'm very sorry for his actions."

"It's not your fault, Nema," Jacob stated. "Your brother's a jerk. That has nothing to do with you. But I can't promise you that I won't hurt him if he comes near Renesmee again."

"Don't worry; he won't be here much longer," Dad said coldly.

Even though he was wrong for what he did and Nema knew it, she still felt for her brother. She didn't want anyone to hurt him. I could see that in her eyes. She looked at Seth with tear-filled eyes, and I realized that my assumptions were wrong. What hurt her most was thinking that she would have to leave Seth behind if she and Nahuel had to leave. I knew all too well that feeling of being without your soul mate, and I didn't want Nema to feel that too. Even though they had just met, I could see that she had already made up in her mind that she wanted to be here with Seth.

"No," I managed to say. "Don't punish Nema because of Nahuel. If he goes, she goes. What would that do to Seth? I know what it feels like being without Jake. I don't want him to feel that pain." I looked up at Jacob, and he looked at me then at Seth and Nema. Whatever argument he had, he didn't express because he had experienced that pain many times. I'm sure he didn't want to put his brother through that.

I looked at my dad. His appeared to be torn. He looked from me and Jake to Nema and Seth. Then he looked at Mom. For one brief second, pain was evident on his face. At first this confused me, but then I realized that they may not have a bond like imprinting but their love was just as strong. He thought of what it was like being without Mom, and he understood. _You understand don't you, Dad? You understand that Nahuel has to stay so that Nema can. You know that being without her will hurt Seth? Don't do it for her, do this for Seth. Seth needs her as much as she needs him. Please Dad, tell me you understand, _I pleaded in my thoughts.

He nodded, and I took a sigh of relief. "But Nahuel better watch himself. Nema, I won't make him leave yet, but talk to him, please."

"I can try, Edward, but I can't promise that he'll listen. He cares for Renesmee, and I can't promise you that this will be the last time he talks to her. He's gotten to know her and he's been in love with her since the day she said hi," Nema's quiet voice recounted.

I wrapped my arms around Jake, rested my head on his chest, and sighed. "This has been one long day." The emotional rollercoaster I was on was draining. I felt as if all of my energy had diminished.

I felt Dad's hand on my shoulder. "Let's get you home then."

"I want to go to the garage. I don't want to be here, I _can't _be here right now."

"It's okay, Nessie, I'm going to get you out of here," Jake said.

As we walked away Seth yelled after us, "Jake, you mind if Nema and I take off with you? This is rough on her too. I don't want her here tonight."

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think ;)<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

**A/N: Claire comes in this chapter! I hope you like how I convey her and Quil's stage of imprinting.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 12: Safe Haven<strong>

This morning things had been so different here. Jake had been mad because he caught Seth and I kissing. Now the garage was my safe haven. It was the only place I felt safe, and from the looks of things Nema felt safe here too. She seemed so relaxed, more relaxed than I'd ever seen her. She and Seth sat at the table and talked. They had just found each other, so I knew they were still figuring one another out. Jake and I didn't mind them being there. They were so wrapped up in their quiet conversation, with their heads close together and their eyes never leaving one another, that if I didn't look up I wouldn't know that they were there. I didn't look their way often. Jake and I were on the sofa in the corner watching _A Cinderella Story_. He knew that it would cheer me up. Being in his arms and watching my favorite movie always did the trick. He was so wonderful about it. Not many guys would willingly watch that movie for the five hundredth time-I kept count- and not complain.

Halfway through the movie, we heard footsteps, but they were too far away for us to catch their scent. Jake and Seth were on their feet before Nema and I had time to react. Her eyes mirrored the fear in mine when I looked at her. My fear was that Nahuel had followed us here. _But would Dad or any of the other members of my family let that happen?_ I looked at Jake; he gave me a reassuring smile, and came to sit back on the couch with me. "No need to worry," he said as he intertwined our fingers and kissed the back of my hand. I trusted his judgment and relaxed, and Seth and Nema went back to their quiet conversation at the table. A few seconds later Quil and Claire were at the opening of the garage.

I was delighted and I ran over to greet them. "Quil…Claire, what are you two doing here?" I hugged them both.

"Well, we heard what happened." He looked at me, concerned. "Are you alright?" I was so tired of hearing that question.

"I'm fine." I looked at the clock on the wall. "It's late, how did you get Claire out of the house?"

Claire laughed. "He snuck me out." She hugged me again. "Are you sure you're alright? He wasn't going to bring me, but I begged him. I just had to see if you were okay," she said without taking a breath.

"Breathe, Claire. Don't I look healthy to you?" I avoided recanting the lie that I had told everyone else of how I was fine and that there was nothing to worry about.

"We also heard that Seth finally imprinted, and I wanted to meet the lucky girl." Quil looked toward Nema and Seth.

Nema smiled and looked up at Quil and then she looked back at Seth waiting for him to introduce them. "Quil, Claire, this is Nema. Nema, this is Quil and Claire."

She spoke quietly, "Nice to meet you both."

"Well, since I've already snuck out of the house, can we stay a while?" Claire asked Quil.

"I don't know, ask Jacob. This is his garage, and he already has Nema and Seth here. We may be cramping these couples' styles." I could see that he slightly longed to finally have what we all had. Since Claire was only 13 he had a few more years to wait before he dropped the imprinting bomb on her.

"Why not? You know what they say, two is comfortable, three's a crowd, but six is a party." Jake laughed.

I rolled my eyes. "No one has _ever _said that. You just made that up."

He grabbed me, pulled me down on the couch, and into his lap. Wrapping his arms around me, he whispered in my ear, "I know you're putting on brave face in front of our friends, but are you really okay?"

"Yes, I'm okay. Really, I am." I shifted in his arms so that I could see his face. "Being here with you, sharing this special place with our friends, I couldn't think of anywhere else I would want to be."

I gave him four quick kisses, one on each cheek, one on the nose, and one on the lips. He seemed to relax a little, and I rested my head on his shoulder, looking out at our friends. Seth and Nema were still at the table, but their conversation wasn't as quiet. It had gotten more animated, and they laughed a lot. Claire and Quil were sitting in the Rabbit listening to the radio. She was telling him about her day and he seemed to hang on to her every word. Then I saw Claire unthinkingly reach out and touch his hand. The sight made me smile. Quil and Claire were holding hands. It was no doubt a baby step, and the gesture wouldn't mean as much now as it would in a few years, but it was a step in the direction he would be going. I relaxed, leaned closer to Jake and watched the movie.

When the movie was over, it was already past two o'clock in the morning. Quil stood. "It's time for me to get Claire back home before someone realizes she was missing."

Nema and I left our significant others so that we could say goodnight to Claire, because we could tell that they wanted to talk pack business before Quil's departure. Claire was all smiles and excitement.

"Nessie, you'll never guess what just happened!"

"What did you do, Claire?" I asked in the same excited tone.

"I held Quil's hand!" She blushed and smiled from ear to ear. "I was demonstrating how someone grabbed my hand today, and he let me hold his hand."

"Wow, do you like Quil?" I asked hoping to pass along the good news to Quil when she wasn't listening. He would really enjoy that news.

She looked at Nema and me. "You two can't tell Quil, Seth, or Jake, but yes, I have a huge crush on Quil."

"Aww that's so cute. You have a crush on Quil!" I teased.

Nema laughed. "Well he is cute, Claire." Seth must have filled her in on the fact that Claire didn't know that Quil had imprinted on her yet.

As Quil was on his way over to Claire, I whispered to him, "Claire has a crush on you."

"She does?" He smiled like this was the best news he'd gotten all day. "Thanks, Nessie. She held my hand tonight. I can deal with just hand holding and teenage crushes for the next few years." He took her hand and said, "Let's get you home, Claire-bear." Claire turned around and smiled at me as they left.

I yawned, and Jake said, "I guess it's time for us to go to sleep too, huh?" He looked at Seth and Nema. I could tell that Nema didn't want to go back to face Nahuel just yet.

I interjected, because I knew Jacob was about to tell them they had to leave. "We'll go sleep in your room, and Seth and Nema can stay here, right?" I pleaded with my eyes.

"Of course, the couch is all yours," he told them.

I hugged Nema, and she looked a little relieved. "Thank you. I didn't want to face my brother and explain this whole imprinting thing tonight," she admitted.

"Any time. You are family now," I reassured her.

I went over to hug Seth, and he said. "Thank you so much, for everything. You are my best friend, you always will be, and thank you for letting me and Nema stay. I know this is your special place with Jake."

"Seth, you're my best friend. I'd do anything for you."

"You'd give me the moon if I asked for it wouldn't you?" He laughed mimicking my words from earlier.

"I sure would." I smiled, took Jake's hand and walked to his room.

I showered and changed into some pajamas that I kept there. I went back into Jake's room and hugged him. "What a day. I feel like it's been going on for a week." I sighed and sank down onto his bed.

He kissed my forehead. "I'll be back. I'm going to shower."

While Jake showered, I drifted off to sleep. It was not a peaceful sleep. The minute I closed my eyes I saw Nahuel's face. He was coming toward me, his eyes furious. There was no one else in sight. I was paralyzed, I couldn't scream, I couldn't speak. He was coming for me. I could feel his fingers around my neck, he was hurting me again, I screamed.

"Renesmee, what's wrong?" Jacob ran back into room with nothing but his towel on. I guess I hadn't been sleeping too long if Jake didn't get to finish his shower.

I was still confused. "Nahuel, he was choking me, and I couldn't move…he was hurting me I…I..." I started to cry.

Jake came over and took me into his arms. "It was just a dream, and no one's hurting you. Nessie, I'm here, and everything is fine." His voice was soothing.

I took a few deep breaths, and Jacob wiped my tears away. "Jake? I'm not okay. I'm scared. I don't want him to hurt me, you, or anyone else in my family." Sobs overtook me again.

"Shh. He's not going to hurt you. I'm here; he won't ever hurt you again." He pulled me closer, holding me tight. He was still wet from the shower I interrupted, but I didn't care. I needed to feel his strong arms around me, reminding me that I was safe. He kissed me softly, erasing all of my fear, leaving love and desire in its wake.

I smiled. "I love you, Jacob. Now please go change, before I'm tempted to take that towel off of you." Jake smiled, but said nothing. He kissed my neck, and then his lips crashed into mine. He kissed me roughly as if there was a dire need for our lips to be touching. He let his hands roam from my face to my neck, and as his hand traced the curve of my breasts I shivered. My breath came in ragged gasps as his hands slowly proceeded down my body. His fingers slowly slid up the bare skin of my inner thigh, and I felt like I was on fire, every where he touched burned for him. "Jake," I whispered as I let my hands roam down the perfect contours of his muscular chest, and linger on his washboard abs.

He smiled devilishly and stood. "I'm going to go change."

I groaned and slumped back onto the bed. When he returned in his sweat pants, I smiled. "I guess I was pushing my luck, huh?"

"Yea you were, and my determination almost wavered. That's why your luck got you that far." He smiled and caressed my cheek. His worrying eyes probed mine. I could never pretend around Jake. He could tell that I was still afraid. He knew what happened today wasn't just over and done with. It had shaken me. "I won't let him hurt you. Someone will always be there to protect you when I'm patrolling. You will never be left alone with him again."

"Please, no more Nahuel talk." I changed the subject. "Quil and Claire held hands tonight. She told Nema and me that she has a crush on him."

"_Really_?" he asked as he thought something over.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I know you didn't age as slow as Claire, but was there a point when you had a crush on me?"

I snorted. "Oh my gosh! You never noticed it? Jake, I had a crush on you from the time I was old enough to understand those type feelings until the day you told me about imprinting. When you kissed me I realized it was much more than just a crush. I realized that I was in love with you." I smiled putting my palm on his cheek to show him all those silly things I did when I was crushing on him, all the things that he didn't notice. I replayed for him all the times that I stammered as I spoke to him, sniffed him when he wasn't looking because I loved his scent, and danced around wanting his undivided attention. I probably made a fool of myself more times than I realized.

He laughed with me. "Wow, I never knew you had a crush on me. I was beginning to wonder if my imprinting even worked on you. I thought that with my luck I'd be the one to end up with faulty imprinting. You kept saying we were friends, and I thought that's how you really felt."

I laughed. "And I thought _I_ was clueless about the opposite sex." I yawned, moved closer to Jake, and closed my eyes.

Behind my lids I saw Nahuel's face again. I couldn't escape it, but I didn't dream about Nahuel. This dream was familiar. I was there, my whole family was there, and I was a baby. We looked across the distance at the enemy, the dark cloaked figures. The waiting was unbearable. I was anxious; I ran my fingers through Jake's fur. Even as a child, I understood that the cloaked figures were deciding my fate. They were going to hurt me like they hurt that woman right in front of my eyes. They burned her. I looked into the leader's eyes. "Please, don't hurt me. I promise I won't hurt anybody," I pleaded. But then the scene changed. I was fully matured, and I could see that the look in their eyes had changed. There was no compassion, there was only disgust. What had I done? Why did they look at me this way? I looked around and for the first time I saw that my family wasn't there anymore. They had been burned too. Jake and I were the only ones left. I was sobbing. "Why did you hurt my family? I don't understand." They were advancing on Jake and me. The one that burned the woman, he was so close that I could feel the heat from the lighter. "Please!" I screamed. "Don't do this," I cried over and over.

I woke up to Jake wiping the steady stream of tears running down my cheeks. "Shh, it's okay, I'm here. I got you." He tightened his hold on me.

I told Jake about my dream. He reassured me that the Volturi would not be coming for me. He unwillingly added that thanks to Nahuel they knew I wasn't a danger to anyone. I shook off that horrible dream and realized that he was right.

I could smell that Billy made breakfast. We got dressed, got our breakfast, and took Seth and Nema some too. When we walked in the garage, Seth and Nema were still asleep. Nema was sleeping on the couch, and Seth was sleeping in the Rabbit. We stood at the opening of the garage.

"We brought breakfast," I announced in a voice no higher than normal, because I knew they both would hear me.

Seth was the first to respond. "Breakfast?" He sat down at the table before Nema, Jake, or I had made it there.

Nema giggled. "I'm going to have to get used to your appetite. I guess it's a good thing that I know how to cook."

"That's a great thing." Seth smiled, kissed her on the cheek, and pulled out the chair for her to sit down.

They were still getting to know each other and their relationship was in the early stages, but the devotion to each other was clear in their eyes, just as it was in Jacob's and mine. We talked about all sorts of things over breakfast. We all avoided the topic looming over us, the topic of going back home. We did not mention Nema's brother instead we talked around it, but I knew Jake and Seth could tell that Nema and I were afraid. She had more to be afraid of than I did. No matter what, I'd be staying here, but Nema could have to leave. Nahuel was her brother; she would have to choose between love and family. We sat there until we couldn't sit there any longer.

Jacob stood. "It's time to get you two back now. Edward will be calling in a little while." I stood up, my eyes full of fear, and silently walked to the car. Jake hugged me tight and kissed my forehead. "You're Renesmee Carlie Cullen, daughter of Edward and Bella Cullen. They are two of the bravest people I know. Even when she was human, Bella withstood so much. I know that you can handle this. You come from a family of brave people. Don't let this one person scare you away from your own home, and I'm pretty sure he has a black eye to prove just how brave you are. You packed some power behind that punch. You were brave then, surely that girl didn't just disappear."

I hugged myself closer to him and rested my head on his chest. In this embrace I felt safe and loved. I knew that Jake was right; after all he was my protector and my personal sun. He would always keep me out of harm's way. I had nothing to fear, certainly not Nahuel.

"You're right. I can be brave."

Seth and Nema were already in the car waiting for us. I tried to give Nema a reassuring smile, and she gave me an unsure smile back.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think ;)<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 13: Anger<strong>

The drive back was a quiet one. Jake drove with one hand and held my hand with the other. He every so often gave my hand a reassuring squeeze to comfort me. I glanced in the back seat at Nema and Seth. They were holding hands and she was resting her head on his shoulder. She looked just as scared as I was. Jake pulled the car into the garage. We got out, and a shiver ran down my spine so Jake pulled me into his arms. "It's fine. I'll be by your side every second until I have to go on patrol. Seth's up first, so I'll be here with you now." I didn't say anything; I just nodded and looked over at Nema and Seth.

"You have to leave?" Nema asked Seth.

"I have to do patrol, it's a pack thing." He looked into her eyes and reassured her, "Jake will be here. It's not like I'm leaving you unprotected." She looked toward me and Jacob.

I looked up at him as he confirmed Seth's words. "I won't be far, Nema. I won't let you out of my hearing range. I know Seth will do the same for me when I go on patrol tonight."

That was when I realized that I would have to spend the night without Jacob. Today was really not getting off to a very good start, not when I had to spend the night alone and in fear.

She sighed, hugged Seth, and rested her head on his shoulder. "Okay, I guess I'll be okay. It probably wouldn't be a good idea for you to be here when I tell my brother that I'm staying here with you."

I couldn't believe that one person was causing all this distress. The stress I was feeling was causing me to have nightmares. I could only imagine what this was doing to Nema. Nahuel was her brother. Seth was saying goodbye to her and the look in her eyes, as he kept trying to reassure her that everything was going to be fine, was a look of fear. She was scared of Nahuel too. He was not a scary guy, but the way he overreacted had me on edge. He thought I wasn't being loyal to him, and I was not even related to him. I could only guess what he would think of Nema when he found out that she was tied with the wolves now too.

Seth left the garage, and I went over to talk to Nema. Jake stood over in the corner to give us privacy, but he didn't let us out of his sight. "How are you holding up?" I asked her.

"Ask me that _after_ I tell my brother about Seth." She tried to smile, but only one corner of her mouth rose.

"Oh, Nema!" I hugged her. "I'm so sorry that you have to tell him now, after everything that unfolded yesterday."

"It feels almost like I'm choosing Seth over my own brother. In a way I hate the decision I'm making, but I won't have it any other way. And since, you know, yesterday when he thought you were choosing the wolves over him, it's going to be a lot worse when I tell him."

"Do you know what you're going to say to him?"

"Not at all."

"We'll go in first and face it all, and you can come in when you're ready." I patted her shoulder and smiled.

Jake and I went into the house. It seemed like everyone took a sigh of relief when they saw me. Nahuel was still there, sitting in the kitchen alone. For one brief second our eyes met and he looked almost sad. His eyes still held a hint of anger but not as much as the night before. I couldn't help the smile that crept across my lips as I took in the black eye that was the result of my fist meeting his face. I looked away from Nahuel and looked into Jacob's eyes. He gave my hand a squeeze, and I took a deep breath. My Dad raced over to me. He picked me up and hugged me like he used to when I was a little girl. _Dad, I'm fine. I just needed to be away from here,_ I thought because I wasn't sure I could trust my voice not to quiver when I was so close to Nahuel.

Dad put me down and seemed to search my eyes. "I'm glad you're okay."

Mom was at our side then. "My baby, I'm glad you're back. Are you hungry? How did you sleep? Your wrist doesn't hurt, does it?" she bombarded me with questions.

"Mom, Mom! I'm fine, a little hungry maybe, but everything else is fine." I flexed my wrist to show her that it was fine.

After that, Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose came to hug me and make sure that I was fine as well. Dad insisted that I get examined by Grandpa Carlisle, even though it was only my wrist that had gotten hurt, but it didn't hurt at all now.

Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper came into Grandpa's office when he was done checking me out.

"What's the verdict, Carlisle? Is our Nessie going to be alright?" Aunt Alice asked as she uncharacteristically walked sluggishly towards me. Her beautiful face was distorted with worry.

"She's perfect. Checking her out was only to satisfy Edward, you know how he worries," Grandpa replied.

"Yes, he's as dramatic as ever." Aunt Alice sighed. "You mind if we talk to Nessie?"

"Go right ahead, I'll go down and give Edward the good news." He left the office and closed the door behind him, which was useless since Dad could hear our thoughts.

"How are you, really, Nessie?" Aunt Alice put her arms around me, wrapping me into a loving embrace.

"I'm not as fine as I say I am." I might as well have admitted it, because I was sure Uncle Jasper was picking up on my emotional climate.

"I'm scared that he's going to harm our family. He saved our lives, and I repay him by not being able to give him the one thing he wanted. I'm scared for Nema, she's in the garage trying to figure out how to break the news to him about Seth. You saw how he reacted to me and Jake. What do you think he's going to do to her when she tells him?"

I started to feel calm and relaxed all of a sudden. Uncle Jasper spoke, "Renesmee, you have to stop worrying. There's only one of him and nine of us." The conversation took an unexpected turn. "He wants to apologize to you. I know that he's sorry. After it happened he was very remorseful. He apologized to us all and hates the way he reacted. He still doesn't like your choice, and doesn't appreciate the fact that you're with Jacob, but he didn't mean to hurt you."

I was stunned that they were actually defending Nahuel. "I don't believe this…you actually want me to hear him out, don't you?"

"No, Nessie, we're not asking you to do that. _I_ don't want you anywhere near him," Aunt Alice assured me as she eyed Uncle Jasper disapprovingly.

"I sense your anger, both of you, and I'm not saying go off somewhere with him. I just wanted you to know that he wasn't a complete monster. There's some part of him that regrets what he did to you." Uncle Jasper calmed me again.

I mumbled, "I'll try to keep that in mind."

We walked back to the living room, but as I passed the kitchen, I didn't see Nahuel. I could smell Nema's scent distantly and I knew she was still in the garage, he wasn't with her, and he wasn't in the house with Jacob and the rest of my family.

After being checked out by Grandpa, the last thing I wanted was to be in here with everyone hovering over me, trying to make sure I wouldn't break at any moment. I took Jake's hand and lead him out to the porch.

As we sat on the steps, Jake asked, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I really wish everyone would stop asking me that." He put his arms around me and I laid my head on his shoulder. "I'm tired of having to tell people I'm fine, when the truth is I don't know."

"I'm going to keep you safe, trust me." He kissed my forehead, and at that moment Nahuel walked up. Jacob's arms tightened defensively around me.

Nahuel took a deep breath. "Renesmee, may I speak with you for a moment?"

_This was what Uncle Jasper was telling me about. He wanted to apologize._

I wasn't sure if I should go anywhere with him. I didn't know if that would be a good idea. "I'm not going anywhere with you," I said coldly.

"I deserve that, I know, but I really would like to speak to you. I won't hurt you," he promised.

Before I could answer, Jake stood protectively in front of me and said through his teeth, "Speak with her right here or not at all."

"I'm very sorry for my actions. When I came here I didn't expect you to be spoken for, and I didn't expect no for an answer. When you said that you were with a werewolf, of all creatures, it made me even angrier. He's not worthy of you, our kind is superior to this-"

I stood up and walked around Jacob, cutting Nahuel off. "You will not speak of Jacob in that manner. He is my boyfriend, which will not change no matter what you say, and I would appreciate it if you kept your distance from me and him."

He was clearly surprised that I would stand up for Jake that way. "Very well, then. I will not be a bother to you anymore; my sister and I will leave soon." He went back into the house without another word to us or any of the members of my family.

At first the words were a relief to me, he was leaving. Then I thought about Nema. I looked up at Jake. "Nema…I've ruined things for her again." I couldn't believe this. "I'm such a horrible person!"

"You're not, Nessie, none of this is your fault. He has a problem with the fact that you aren't in love with him."

I smiled, sat in his lap, and caressed his cheek. "No one else is as handsome and as sweet as you are. How could I not be in love with you?" A blush crept up his cheeks. I loved it when I made him blush. It happened so rarely. "You know you are very cute when you blush." I kissed him softly, marveling in the feeling of his lips against mine.

"You want to go over to the cottage?" he asked between kisses.

"You have to stay; you have to watch out for Nema too." I laughed at how eager he was to go to the cottage.

Nema walked up, looking terrified. "He's in the house, and he expects the two of you to leave soon," I informed her. She groaned and walked inside.

"She'll be safe with your family there. They won't let him do anything to her. So can we go to the cottage?" He kissed my nose, then both my cheeks, and finally my lips. "Please." He kissed me again. "It seems like forever since I've been alone with you." He could see that I was about to protest, so he kissed me once more. My lips parted inviting his tongue into my mouth. I moaned as it caressed mine. I fisted my hands in his hair, needing to be closer to him.

When he let me catch my breath, I said, "The cottage then?"

He smiled smugly, and we started walking toward the cottage. The door to the main house swung open with a clatter, and we turned around to see what was happening. It was Nema and Nahuel, and they were arguing.

"Nahuel, just listen!" Nema pleaded.

"My sister is not going to be with some _dog_! I won't allow it, Nema. You are not staying here. We are leaving NOW!" he yelled.

Nema seemed to flinch away from him. "Nahuel, I can't. I can't leave him, my home is here now." Even when she was angry her voice came no higher than a whisper.

"You will come with me this instant! You will not stay here and play house with a mongrel like that! You are better than that, Nema. You are better than him," he hissed.

"Don't say that. You don't know him. I-"

"I know enough. I know that a few days ago he kissed Renesmee. A few days ago he was in love with her. Did _you_ know that, Nema?" Nema looked at me accusingly, and she didn't respond. "He doesn't love you. That scum doesn't know love. He's going to hurt you. You don't mean anything to him, Nema. It's Renesmee he wants, not you. Since she's already promised to a canine, you're his second choice, and if you stay with him you're scum too."

Nema's gaze met mine again, and she was crying. "I'd rather stay here and be scum than go anywhere with you. I don't know who you are anymore. You need to leave, because I'm not going anywhere with you."

Nahuel walked away from her. As he walked passed me and Jake he said, "You and your family will regret the day you chose dogs over your own kind." He disappeared into the night.

I went over to Nema. "It's over now. He's gone." She cried on my shoulder as I consoled her.

"Is it true? What he said about you and Seth?" I knew that if I told her the truth she would believe what Nahuel had said and think that she was the second choice.

"No," I lied smoothly. "He was lying to you, Nema. Seth and I are only friends, and that's all we've ever been."

It seemed that I was good at lying when it was to protect a friend. I couldn't hurt Nema, not after her brother had just recently torn her down. Then Seth was behind me, he had eyes for no one but Nema. He was angry that she'd been hurt. I passed her from my arms to Seth's. She and Seth went inside, and I went back over to Jake.

I wrapped my arms around him, and hid my face in his chest. "I lied to her. I told her what Nahuel said wasn't true."

"You did it to protect her, Nessie."

It had gotten dark outside, and I knew that our time together would be over soon. I looked up at him. "Do you have to go now?" We started walking toward the cottage.

"Yes, but I'm going to tuck you in first," he said as we walked to my bedroom.

He waited for me to shower and change into some shorts and a t-shirt. I got into bed and he leaned down to kiss me. I put my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. "Are you sure I can't talk you into staying?" My lips brushed against his as I spoke. I kissed his neck, and gently bit him.

"Nessie…" His breath caught.

I was not about to let him go now, not when I saw that his resolve was weakening. "Please." I kissed him again as I hugged myself closer to him. "Jake." I kissed his cheek, "Jakey, please stay." I kissed from his jaw line to his earlobe and I let my teeth graze it. Jake shivered.

His voice was breathy when he spoke, "Nessie, you know I want to stay. I want to stay more than anything else, but I've got to go."

I pouted; just when I thought his resolve was faltering, he resisted.

He smiled. "You know you're cute when you pout." When I didn't smile, he said, "I'm sorry, honey, I really am. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Fine," I said as I turned my back to him.

It really was silly for me to get mad about this, and attacking him in that way; trying to persuade him by those means was just plain out wrong. I knew he had duties, and I couldn't occupy all of his time, but I really needed him tonight. I was afraid that I would see Nahuel if I closed my eyes.

I listened to Jake's retreating footsteps as he left. I hated that I was being selfish and that I left things the way I did. He was being responsible, and I was acting exactly like the child I was trying so hard to prove to my family that I wasn't. I knew that sleep would not come tonight as I pondered over exactly how to apologize to Jacob for my actions.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think ;)<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 14: The Decision<strong>

Like he'd promised, he was laying beside me with his arms encasing me when I woke up. "How did you sleep?"

I turned to face him. "I didn't, and I feel horrible. Every time I closed my eyes, I kept seeing Nahuel." I was shaken; my nightmares always consisted of me running and eventually being captured by him.

"I'm sorry that I had to leave you last night." His lips tenderly touched mine. "Will this make it better?"

"Maybe, but you have to kiss me again before I can decide." I smiled, and he kissed me once more. "Yes, and I'm sorry for last night. I knew you had to leave, and I was being childish and unfair."

"It's okay, Nessie. You were very convincing last night, and I was so close to staying."

"What stopped you?" I propped up on my elbow and looked into his eyes.

"I stopped because I knew that if I had stayed last night, I wouldn't have stopped your persuasion. You were definitely pushing my buttons, buttons I didn't even know you were capable of pushing." He pushed one of the curls that had fallen into my face behind my ear.

This information intrigued me. "Really? So can I push those buttons again?"

I started kissing him like I did last night. When I grazed his earlobe, he fisted his hands in my hair and kissed me with fervent need, pulling me closer. He rolled over on top of me and ever so gently grazed his teeth against my neck. There was a hitch in my breathing before it started to accelerate as his hands roamed down my body. His warm hands made my body tingle and burn all over as my pulse raced. His hand crept under my shirt and my skin was on fire. A gasp escaped me as he cupped one of my breasts, kneading and massaging. The feeling was exhilarating. Jacob and I had never gone this far, and I invited and loved every minute of it. I thought I would come undone when his thumb passed over my nipple. A whimper escaped me, and Jacob repeated his action again. Pleasure was rolling off of me in waves, and I didn't want this to end. Jacob had opened the door to the promise land and I was tired of teetering at the entrance.

I sat up and started taking off my shirt. Jake's lips traveled down my neck and made contact with my breasts. As his tongue swirled around my nipple, I fisted my hands in his hair, pulling him closer. The sounds coming from me were unintelligible. I didn't even know that I was capable of such sounds. Heck, I didn't even know that Jake could make me feel so good. I rolled us over so that I was on top of him, and started to take my shorts off. To my surprise, Jake did not protest - he helped me slide them down and off. I straddled him feeling his erection against my most intimate place. I decided to rock my hips against him, letting him know exactly what I wanted. This brought forth sensations in my body that I could have never even fantasized about, and from the sounds Jake was making, I could tell he was enjoying it too. I brought my lips to his, wanting to feel as connected to him as possible. His lips drifted to my neck and down to my breasts again. His hand was sliding the thin fabric of my panties aside. His fingers found my entrance, and I shivered and marveled at the cries of pleasure Jake was eliciting from me. His voice was no higher than a whisper as he said, "Nessie, you're so wet for me."

Before I knew it, Jacob's fingers had stopped working their magic, and he grabbed my hands that had at some point tangled into his hair again and lowered them to my side. "Nessie, Edward is coming."

My eyes snapped open, and I untangled myself from him and put my shirt and shorts back on. I couldn't let Dad hear me thinking of this as he walked into the house. There was already no doubt in my mind that he would smell my arousal, but I wouldn't allow him to know the extent of just how physical Jacob and I had gotten.

"Renesmee, how are you doing this morning?" Dad asked from the living room.

I could hear him coming. Jake and I were still panting and gazing into each other's eyes. Right before Dad got to the door, Jacob got up.

"I've got to go shower," I said in a rush.

"I'm going to go for a run." Jake rushed out the door.

I was converting a song from English to Spanish in my head to keep my thoughts off of what happened a few minutes ago. Dad's eyes narrowed. "What just happened?"

"Um, I gotta go," I squeaked and raced to the bathroom.

I took a cold shower and tried not to replay the way Jacob had reacted to me and the feel of his hands on my body. When I got out of the shower, Dad was sitting in the kitchen waiting for me. "So would you like to explain to me what _that_ was about?" He gestured toward the door, and I knew he meant Jacob.

"I don't know, Dad. Maybe he just had somewhere to be," I lied unsuccessfully.

"Jacob would never leave in that much of a hurry. Believe me; I've tried to get him to leave. I didn't say a word to him, and he dashed out of here like his life was at risk."

I started making a sandwich and concentrating really hard on the details_: bread, ham, lettuce, pickles, mayonnaise, mustard, and another slice of bread_.

"Renesmee! What is it that you are hiding from me?" Dad raised his voice to get my attention.

I stuffed the sandwich into my mouth and mumbled inaudibly as I ran out the door. I walked into the woods, looking for Jacob. "Jake? Are you out here?"

It was Embry that came out to meet me.

"He went to the cliffs. He said he had a lot on his mind and then he phased back and left."

"Can you take me to the cliffs? I really need to talk to him." I would have run there myself, but the fact that Dad and Jake didn't want me to go anywhere alone, due to the fact that Nahuel running around somewhere, hindered my self-reliance.

"I didn't drive here, Renesmee. You'd have to hang on tight, because if I dropped you Jake would kill me."

"I promise, I'll hold on tight." Embry went to phase. When he came back, I climbed onto his back and held on tight as he had instructed me. Within five minutes, we were in La Push and just as Embry had said, Jake was there at the cliffs. He let me off his back and left.

I walked over to Jacob, who didn't turn around even though I knew he had heard our approach. He sat with his legs dangling over the cliff, gazing out at the ocean.

"Do you want to talk?" I sat down beside him. He held my hand, but still didn't speak. "Well, I'll talk then." I didn't know exactly what to say or how to discuss what nearly happened, but I knew that was exactly what was troubling him. "So that was intense earlier."

He turned to look into my eyes. "Edward?"

"Doesn't know. I kept my thoughts away from you."

"Renesmee, I know where you stand on the issue, and I know I was the one that said I want to wait, but what I feel for you is so intense that I don't know if waiting is an option anymore."

_He didn't want to wait anymore?_

_That was the best news I had heard all week. _Before I could calm the excitement surging through me, I blurted out, "How about right now?"

I was mortified by the fact that I had unthinkingly said this, and my face was probably crimson with embarrassment.

He opened his mouth to speak but closed it, trying to stifle his laughter. When he composed himself, he said, "It won't be anytime soon; we will both know when it's time. But not right now." He kissed me. "So will you be good until the moment comes? No more pushing my buttons?"

"Fine, I'll be good. I promise."

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Do you really think Nessie has enough will power to honor her promise?<br>**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**We're half way there. This is the exact halfway point of the story. I plan to have it all updated by the end of the week. I hope y'all are enjoying it :)  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 15: Visions<strong>

As the weeks passed, I had broken that promise to Jacob many times. I liked pushing his buttons, and each time his resolved weakened a little more, more clothes came off, and our physicality got closer and closer to the next step I wanted us to take in our relationship. Things got so intense today that Jake and I both agreed that we needed to take a break from each other, so I was grateful when Leah asked if Nema and I wanted to spend some girl time with her in La Push. Apparently she had some good news because she was giddy and all smiles. That was so uncharacteristic of Leah.

When we arrived at her house, Claire, Rachel, and Emily were waiting for us. Once we went inside, she offered us food and drinks and made sure everything was to our liking.

"Okay, now that all the hospitalities are out of the way, would you like to tell us what's going on?" I asked.

She smiled from ear to ear. "Well, you know Jacob gave me the day off, so I went to the mall this morning. I shopped around for some things, found a really kick ass pair of jeans and some new Chucks, because we all know I've probably ripped all of mine to shreds-"

"Leah, the point please," Claire interrupted.

"I was getting there, okay?" She paused for a moment to gather her thoughts, and I was beginning to think that I would never find out what happened. "Well, I was getting hungry, and I felt as if there were some dire need for me to have pizza. I saw a guy at the pizza place and it happened," she said excitedly.

"It? Leah, you mean you finally imprinted?" I asked mirroring her tone.

"Yes!" she squeaked.

We all jumped up and hugged her. "You have to tell us all about him!" Emily exclaimed.

We all sat back down, waiting for Leah to give us all the details. "Well, his name is Jaime. He's 20, black hair, smoky grey eyes. He's very handsome, even in his Pizzeria uniform. Don't worry; you'll get to meet him. We're going on a date tomorrow, if Jacob lets me off duty."

I laughed as she eyed me hopefully. "Don't worry, I'll do some _persuading_." The girls all giggled at the implication in my tone.

"So, how did the date come about? What did he say? What did you say?" Emily asked, smiling happily. Her relationship with Leah was better than it had been years before, but it was still strained. Leah always held a grudge at her beloved Sam being stolen from her. Now, I could see in Emily eyes that there was renewed hope for them.

Leah took a seat between Emily and I on the couch, and she smiled brightly. "I walked up, not really paying attention to him, just looking up at the menu. He said 'Welcome to Pizzeria, what can I get you?' and as I looked into those grey eyes, my world suddenly became his. I belonged to him, and he was everything I needed to survive this life. I said to him 'Your phone number actually, pizza doesn't interest me as much as you do'. We all know I have no filter so don't give me that shocked look. The sexiest smile crossed his face and he decided that it was time for his break. I got pizza "on the house", his phone number, and a date by the time his break was over."

Emily hugged her cousin and laughed. "Only you, Leah, would be bold enough to make that statement."

"I think this is cause for a celebration." Claire turned some music on and the party began. My cell vibrated as we were celebrating. It was Jake, so I walked into a quieter room.

"Hey, you miss me already?" I asked when I answered.

"Renesmee, I'm coming to get you. I'll be there in five minutes." His voice was tense and serious; he was speaking like the Alpha of his pack.

I closed the phone and my mind was racing. I walked back into the living room where the rest of the girls were. _Something must have happened. What could it be?_ I felt sick. I walked mechanically over to the sofa and sat down. Claire came over to sit beside me.

"Renesmee? Are you okay? You don't look well." I couldn't find my voice. I kept going over and over in my head the way Jake's voice sounded, and I knew that something was wrong.

"Jake called…something's wrong. He's coming to get me," I said in a hoarse voice. I couldn't make my voice any louder. It was as if fear of the unknown had frozen my vocal chords.

Jake arrived a minute later. I looked into his eyes, and I could tell that what ever had occurred, it was something bad. "Emily or Rachel, could one of you take Claire home? Leah, I need you to phase, there's a situation. I'm going to take Nessie and Nema back home." He spoke with authority, his eyes set like he was on a mission. What ever the situation was, I knew that it had to be serious.

We drove back in silence. Jake didn't tell me what was going on, and I didn't ask. I guess I was trying to mentally prepare myself for the worst. When we pulled into the garage of the main house, Seth was there waiting for Nema. His face had no traces of the fun, easy going Seth. His expression was grim as he glanced at me before turning his attention to Nema. When our eyes met, I didn't like what I saw. His eyes revealed impending doom ahead. I looked at Jake who hadn't taken his eyes off of me since we'd arrived. I walked over to him and laid my head on his chest, and he instinctively wrapped his arms around me.

"What's going on?" I asked in that same hoarse voice without looking up at him. I feared that his eyes mirrored Seth's.

"Alice...she had a vision. The Volturi…they've decided that you are a danger, that your whole family is a threat to them." He hugged me tighter, like he never wanted to let go, as he told me this. His voice was lifeless. This was it, the reason for the impending doom in Seth's eyes. At this news, my body went cold. I felt the blood leave my face, and I was in shock.

We walked into the house and every member of my family seemed frozen. My dad was the first to thaw. He rushed over to me and hugged me tight. He couldn't pick up on my thoughts because my mind was blank, I couldn't think.

"Don't worry, sweetheart, I won't let them hurt you," he whispered in my ear. At that moment Mom was at our side tearlessly sobbing. Dad looked at Aunt Alice. "How long?"

"Two weeks. They aren't taking any chances this time. They're acting fast."

"Why is this happening? We haven't hurt anyone." I asked, stress apparent in my voice.

"It's our coven. It's the largest in history, besides theirs. We've grown in number over the past ten years. Think about it; the Denalis and Garrett, our bond with the pack. Every member of the pack is now a member of our family," Dad said in an emotionless voice.

It was true. Before I was born it was just the seven of them. Even then they were rather large for a coven of vampires. Then the Denalis considered themselves extended family. Dad married Mom, Garrett married Kate, and because Jacob and I were forever tied to one another his pack was now a part of the family as well. We also had Nema, the newest addition to the family. She made our bond with the wolves even stronger. With thoughts of Nema came thoughts of Nahuel. I remembered the last words he'd said to me. _You and your family will regret the day you chose dogs over your own kind._ I heard my dad gasp, and all eyes were on him.

"What is it, Edward?" Mom's eyes were wary.

"Nahuel," Dad growled. "I think he's brought this on our family. I didn't realize it until Nessie thought it. He had revenge on his mind when he left. He just didn't know how to carry it out."

"And what better way to do it than to destroy the lives he once saved," Aunt Alice hissed. "I didn't see _him_, or them disappear because I wasn't looking for him." Her eyes went blank as she was searching for that blind spot that would no doubt be Nahuel. Her eyes snapped open and she and Dad said simultaneously, "He was there."

I looked around at all the people I loved, all of their faces revealing fear, doom, and hopelessness. My gaze lingered on Jake's. His face more distorted with pain than the others. I couldn't breathe. I walked out to the porch and memories of Nahuel's last night here flooded me. Tears ran down my cheeks as I remembered that horrible night.

Nema came out of the house. "I'm very sorry that my brother is the cause of all of this."

Her words didn't register in my mind. They were just background noise. I walked away without even acknowledging that I'd heard her. I went to the cottage and was in my bed, lying on my side, with my knees pulled to my chest and my arms wrapped around them when Jacob came and got into bed beside me. He wrapped his arms around me and neither of us spoke. It seemed that there were no words to describe this. As I laid there in his arms for what could be one of the last times, I had only one thought. _I had once again sentenced my family and friends to death because I existed._

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><p><strong>Let me know what you think ;)<strong>


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 16: The Unexpected<strong>

There was a week left until the fight, and we all decided that we would not involve the friends that once stood against the Volturi with us. We didn't even want to involve the other wolves, except Seth. He refused to let us stand without him, and the other wolves refused to watch their brothers battle without them. We saw no way out if the Volturi wouldn't listen to us. We had no other way out, we had to fight, but taking on the Volturi would no doubt lead to death, and we all knew it. I could not allow my family to ask others to stand and die with us.

Everyone went out to hunt while Jake and I stayed at the main house. We spent every moment together when he wasn't away being the Alpha. We were sitting on the couch watching TV when we heard a knock on the door. I looked nervously at him as he got up to answer the door. He opened it and, to our surprise, it was Tanya, Kate, Garrett, Eleazar, and Carmen. Jake relaxed.

They had gotten used to the wolves being here over the years. "Hello, Jacob. It's good seeing you again," Tanya said.

"You too, Tanya," Jake replied. They all hugged Jacob. Garrett and Eleazar shook his hand.

"_Mi Querida!_ I haven't seen you in two years and look how grown up you are now!" Carmen said.

"I've been the same for 3 years. You saw me when I fully matured." I laughed. "So what brings you all by? Not that I don't love your visits, but this one was unexpected."

"Surely you didn't think that we were going to stand by and let our family go up against the Volturi again without our help!" Kate exclaimed.

"You know?" None of us had told them. "How?"

"Word travels fast in our world, Nessie, especially when the Volturi are concerned." Eleazar smiled.

"So you're here to help?" Jake asked.

I shot him an annoyed glance. "We can't…_I _can't ask you to die for me," I pleaded.

"_Mi Corazon, _we've loved you since the day we met you; we would all fight to protect you," Eleazar said.

I sighed, knowing that they were determined to stay. "Fine, I'm sure Dad and Grandpa won't be too happy about this when they get back." They laughed.

"Well, tell us what happened," Garrett said. I didn't want to tell the story, so just as I had when I was younger, I put my palm the each of their cheeks and showed them. I showed them everything from Nahuel's first meeting me till the day Aunt Alice had the vision.

An hour later there was another knock on the door, and just as Jake had before, he answered it. It was Benjamin and Tia. Shocked, Jacob looked at me.

I stood. "Ben, Tia? What are you doing here? I haven't seen you two since my fifth birthday!" I went to hug each of them.

"We heard that the Cullen family was in danger, and we wanted to help," Ben said.

"You. Want. To. Help?" I said each word slowly. I wanted to make sure I was hearing it right.

"Yes, we are very fond of the Cullens, and we would do anything for a member of your family," Tia said.

"This isn't going to end well, you now that right? You know that there's a chance that you will die. I can't, I just _can't _ask you, any of you to die for me," I told them.

"Renesmee, we've made our decision. You didn't have to ask," Ben said.

That night my family returned with two more vampires that had vowed to stand with us against the Volturi. Peter and Charlotte came in after Uncle Jasper. "Peter…Charlotte? Uncle Jasper, did you ask them to come here?"

"Your Uncle Jasper had nothing to do with our visit. It was all because of you, Renesmee. We know that Jasper loves you, and if something were to ever happen to you we would feel guilty for not trying to even the odds."

"Thank you, to all of you. I never expected that any of you would come to our aid again. Even when we wouldn't dare ask of you to volunteer for this, you do it any way. If we all survive this, I will be forever grateful to you all."

Later that night, Jake and I had the cottage to ourselves while the rest of our family and friends plotted and planned. Jacob agreed to stay with me tonight, and Dad was too busy planning to protest. We were lying on our sides looking into each other's eyes. He was playing with one of my curls. "Jake, do you think we have a chance against the Volturi?" Everyone had gotten over the shock and we were in the acceptance phase.

"Yes, because we're all fighting for a common goal. We're fighting to save your life and ours." He intertwined our fingers. "We will get through this, I promise you that. I love you, Nessie, and they love you too. That's why we are going to fight, if that's what it comes to."

"But those people are going to die because of me. You might die because of me. I might as well hand myself over to the Volturi if that's what it takes to keep you safe, Jacob. If something were to happen to you…I wouldn't be able to live with myself, and if something happened to anyone of those people over there, it would be my fault."

Jake's expression turned intense as he looked into my eyes. "Never say that again. You're important to them and you're important to me. I can't imagine my life without you in it." He kissed me fiercely. "It wouldn't be called living if you didn't exist, Renesmee."

For the rest of the night we didn't talk about what lay ahead a week from now. We talked of silly little trivial things as if our lives didn't have question marks on them.

We woke the next morning to find out that more people had come to help. Zafrina and Senna had come while Jake and I were sleeping. Zafrina had become one of my favorite vampires when I was younger. Every since she stood with us against the Volturi ten years ago, she has visited me once a year. I used to adore the mental pictures she showed me. We would communicate to one another through these pictures from our minds. As I walked in, I saw her. "Zafrina! Senna!" I ran to them. Zafrina bent down knowing that I wanted to show her what I was thinking. I put my palm to her face; I showed her the image from ten years ago. _I don't want that to happen, _I thought. _I don't want you and Senna to die for me_.

"Don't be silly, Renesmee. We love you and we will always protect you, no matter what." She showed me an image of all of us victorious over Volturi. I smiled, wishing that I had the same hope that all of my unexpected visitors had.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think ;)<strong>


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 17: The Last Night<strong>

The week had passed fast. I couldn't believe tomorrow the Volturi would come. Tomorrow could very well be the last day I saw my family and friends. We were well prepared though. Jake saw to it that I knew how to fight. He asked Uncle Jasper to teach me, knowing that Uncle Jasper was by far the most experienced in this area. He also asked Uncle Emmett to show me a few moves. Uncle Emmett had strength on his side, and he showed me how to use my strengths to my advantage. Jake even let me practice fighting with him. I couldn't say it was fun to think of him as an enemy, but I did kick his butt every time. I knew that we were ready. We had the skills necessary to give ourselves a fighting chance.

Tonight no one spoke of the task ahead. Even though no one would say it, we all were wordlessly saying good bye to one another. Dad agreed to let Jake take me to La Push. We went to the cliffs; we had a picnic while we watched the waves crash against the rocks. After we were done eating, we went to our place. We danced to our song and watched my favorite movie while cuddling on the sofa. We didn't really talk much; we did all of this as if it were just another day.

We couldn't stay the entire night, because we had to be back at the cottage before the morning came. I sighed as we got back in the car to leave, taking one last glance back at the garage that I may never see again.

When we arrived at the cottage, Mom and Dad weren't there. They left a note saying that they went to their meadow. I sighed and went to my room. I lay in my bed and Jacob lay beside me, and I wrapped my arms around him.

"I know that no body is speaking of it today, but I can't keep up this brave front, not when it's only hours away." I hugged him tight. "I wish we could stay this way forever. Jake, I don't want to let you go."

"I don't want to let you go either, Nessie." He kissed my forehead.

"Jake, I'm scared. I don't know what lies ahead for us. I don't know who will still be here when we're done fighting, or if any of us will be here."

"I know," he said in a voice so low that I almost didn't hear. "I'm scared too. How could I not be with you and Bella out there fighting, and my pack, I can't lose any of you. And as many differences as Edward and I have, I wouldn't want anything to happen to him either. I don't want anything to happen to any of them." He seemed to shudder at the thought. "Let's not think about it, this could be…" He didn't finish his sentence.

I finished it for him. "This could be our last night together."

I kissed him, slowly savoring the moment. I kissed him like it was the last night I would ever get to kiss him, and it possibly could be. He mirrored my passion and traced the curve of my body with his hands, and I tingled under his touch. I caressed his cheek lightly with my fingertips and pulled him into another kiss. He rolled me over so that I was lying on my back and he looked into my eyes. "I love you, Jacob Black," I said.

"And I love you, Renesmee Carlie Cullen," he replied.

This was The Moment that we were waiting for. There couldn't have been a better time than the last night that I could possibly ever be Renesmee Carlie Cullen.

We took our time savoring every touch and every kiss. Jacob's lips were patient and soft, kissing every inch of skin that he unclothed. He pulled my shirt over my head and unsnapped my bra, taking it off as well while he was kissing my lips slowly and murmuring every so often that he loved me. He moved to my neck placing soft nips and kisses there. His lips slowly traveled down finally making contact with one of my breasts as one of his hands occupied the other. My back arched, giving him full access. When his tongue flicked over my nipple, I shivered. His slow, precise movements with his lips and tongue were driving me insane, and I was aching for him.

I began to beg, "Jake…Jake, please."

His began placing soft kisses down my stomach. As his breath caressed my skin, the ache grew stronger. He began to slide off my jeans and panties. His eyes traveled down the length of my body, and I grew self-conscious, wondering if he was disappointed with my naked form.

He smiled, guessing what was worrying me and said, "You're beautiful." His hands slowly crept up my body. "In every way," he said as he caressed my cheek.

He placed a soft kiss on my lips and I wanted to reciprocate the love and patience he was exhibiting, so I pulled Jake's shirt over his head and placed kisses on his neck, and shoulders. I let my hands and lips roam over the ridges of his muscular frame, looking into his eyes as I unbuttoned his shorts and slid them and his boxers down. I trailed kisses down his body. When my lips pressed against his erection, he let out a shaky breath. My tongue ran across his length and Jake's breathing accelerated.

Jake quickly pulled me up, and his lips crashed into mine roughly as he rolled me over onto my back, caressed my cheek gently, giving me a chaste kiss on the lips.

"If I hurt you at any point, or you need to stop, promise me you'll let me know," he said, his eyes serious.

I just nodded and Jake slowly entered me. I tried not to wince as he got further in, but I couldn't help it. He was watching my face intently, and as I winced he stopped.

"It's fine, I just need a minute."

He nodded and his body stayed perfectly still as he caressed my cheek and mouthed the words "I love you" while he waited.

When my body had adjusted to him a bit, I nodded to let him know that I was ready. He bent down to kiss me as he made his first slow thrust. I concentrated on the feel of his lips against mine, the feel of his tongue as it caressed mine, and the feel of his hair as I tangled my fingers into it, instead of the pain. I wanted to make love to Jake, I really did, but I never knew that it was this painful. Jake gave a few more thrusts, and each time I required his lips to be on mine, and each thrust elicited a sound from me that was a mixture between a cry, whimper, and a moan. Each time, it got better and became more endurable.

I knew it was taking all of Jake's concentration to be patient with me, to be loving and gentle. "You doing okay?" he asked as he kissed my earlobe.

"Gets better each time," I said quietly, reassuring him that I was fine.

Soon we found a rhythm and the pain was not an issue. Our bodies moved with one another in perfect sync. Jake's thrusts were slow and measured, making sure not to hurt me, but soon our motions became more frequent and wilder.

At the start, I began to doubt sex, and wonder if we were even doing it right, but as Jacob began to assault my neck with nips and kisses and his tongue caressed my breasts while we made love, I realized that sex was good and Jacob was good at it.

I was coming undone and building up to a release that I had never felt before as he lifted my hips and began to plunge into me deeper and harder. My body was tensing and Jake thrust roughly into me. "Jake!" I screamed out as it felt like my body had exploded. At that moment, I felt like I was in heaven as pleasure rolled off me in waves.

He continued to thrust, pounding into me over and over, pleasuring me further. Jake's body jerked and he threw his head back releasing a feral sound that I knew could be heard from miles around as he came.

"I love you, Nessie," he said against my neck.

He gave one last thrust and then he collapsed on top of me, breathing in heavily. I traced small circles on his back, loving him more than I ever had. We were closer now than we had ever been, our bond stronger and more united. The Volturi could throw at us what they could, but they would not break us. I would see to it that they never touched Jacob; I couldn't lose him to them.

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><p><strong>So…things got a little steamy…did you enjoy it?<strong>


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 18: Impending Doom<strong>

_Today is the day,_ I thought as I opened my eyes and sighed heavily. It was barely morning, but if we were going to prepare for this battle, we had to wake up early. I lay motionless in Jake's arms, wishing that this was a different day._ Maybe this whole war with the Volturi was a nightmare and none of it was really happening._ I laughed humorlessly in my head. _Like that would ever happen. I had more of a possibility of what Jake and I shared to be a dream than this fight being a dream._

I rolled over in Jake's arms to look at him. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kissed him on the cheek. "It's time," I said in a dead voice.

He slowly opened his eyes and all the sparks and intensity that were in them last night had disappeared. His eyes were lifeless. "I wish we could stay here, just like this, with you in my arms."

He pulled me closer and tightened his hold on me. His lips touched mine tenderly, once and then twice more. His soft, warm mouth took mine mercilessly and his hands moved over every inch of my body, as if trying to remember every curve. Jake began placing wet kisses and nips down my body. My legs parted in anticipation, and he placed soft kisses on the inside of both my thighs and I felt his breath caressing me, making me yearn for him.

His tongue entered me, swirling and exploring, and it was like nothing I had ever experienced. He brought light to my darkest day, hope to a hopeless case. He made me feel like I was in heaven, and his name flowed from my mouth like a song on repeat. I had heard the word love-drunk before, and that is exactly what I was as Jacob's tongue explored me. I was love-drunk on Jacob.

"Jake…Jake…I need…I need to…_Jake!_" I squeaked his name as his fingers replaced his tongue and his tongue began swirling around my clit.

That was all it took for my body to explode once more. I was shaking as the pleasure waves rolled on for a few more minutes. Jake's lips came down on mine, and I moaned into his mouth as I tasted myself on his lips and tongue.

As we broke away to catch our breath, I said, "Jake, I want to make love to you."

I could feel his erection straining against my stomach and I knew he needed to be inside of me as much I needed him to be. I pleaded with my eyes, and I guessed that he was being hesitant because he was afraid of hurting me again. He placed himself at my entrance and I caressed his cheek.

"I'm not breakable, you know," I said.

I gave him a reassuring smile and he began to thrust into me. This time there was no pain, just pleasure. With each thrust I needed more. He was like a drug that I couldn't get enough of.

We moved together until the darkness faded and the light shone through my parent's quaint cottage, illuminating Jake's gorgeously sculpted body and beautiful face. We came together in perfect harmony. Jake's body rested on top of mine as I ran my fingers through his hair and placed soft kisses on his shoulder.

We had lost track of time, laying in each other's arms in contented silence. We had forgotten the reason that we were awake this early in the first place. Suddenly, it all came back to me, bursting my perfect bubble of bliss.

_The Volturi would come today._

I attempted to squirm out of Jake's grasp so we could get ready, but I couldn't. His arms were encasing me in a prison of warmth and love. I giggled. "Jake, we can't stay in bed while there is impending doom waiting for us in the baseball field. Besides, if we don't leave in a few minutes, Dad will come looking for me. Do you really want him to find us this way?"

Jake quickly released his hold on me, and we got up to take a quick shower. We didn't have time to eat breakfast, because we were already late. We were supposed to meet the others at the main house thirty minutes ago.

When we arrived, everyone was ready and waiting for us. This was the first time the thought of us fighting seemed real. Everyone was dressed casually as if it were just another day, silently preparing for the task ahead. As I looked Uncle Emmett's way, he was bouncing with excitement. He was more ready for this battle to occur than any of us were.

We all made our way to the field where my family played baseball. The Volturi would be here soon, we were certain of that. We heard people approaching and everyone braced themselves in case of an attack. They weren't expected to arrive this early, but they could've made the last minute decision to arrive earlier, just so Aunt Alice wouldn't see them coming.

I saw my dad relax and I knew that it they hadn't arrived yet. My question as to who was approaching was answered before my brain could form it, when we saw that Stefan and Vladimir had come to our aid as well.

"Surely you didn't think you were going to take on the Volturi without us, did you?" Vladimir asked.

They took their places in our little group. We all kept our eyes on the forest, waiting for the Volturi to approach. I heard faint footsteps, and my heart started to pound. They had arrived, and I felt my body grow cold as I started to feel sick. My heart began pounding painfully in my chest and my breathing came in quick gasps. Jake was standing beside me in his wolf form, and I nervously ran my fingers through his fur. They came into view through the forest in front of us. They moved with precision and grace in a slow procession, reminding me of a parade as they made the same military - like formation that they had ten years ago. This time they had no witnesses. It was just the Volturi, the wives, and the guard.

"They didn't expect us to bring friends," Dad whispered.

I stood there looking out across the space between us and the Volturi. I saw all the dark cloaked figures just as I had before but there was one that didn't belong. Nahuel. He was standing in the heart of the formation with Marcus, Caius, and Aro. No one spoke.

There we were, once again in the face of danger. It was like déjà vu. This scene was just as it had been ten years ago. Everyone was fighting for me, but there would be more lost than gained if our victory wasn't one hundred percent. The setting was exactly the same except for the fact that I was fighting too. I had more to lose than they did, than _he_ does. The one that caused this had nothing more than hope to lose. I had much more. I had a family, friends, and a soul mate that I could lose. Yes, the victory had to be one hundred percent because I couldn't bear it any other way. There was no other way out, so we had to fight. _I _hhh ad to fight. I had to fight for my life, for my family, and most importantly I had to fight for him, the man that I loved.

Aro cleared his throat. "I see you've assembled quite a few witnesses for yourselves again, but there is no need. The verdict has already been decided."

"We've done nothing wrong!" I yelled, not thinking of what the consequences would be. I was just angry that we were being put through this once more.

"Renesmee," Dad said, trying to stop me from speaking out.

"But you have, little Renesmee. By assembling a coven this large, you raise human awareness. You increase our chances of being found out," Aro explained.

"You know as well as anyone that we're no danger, Aro," Dad said in a hard voice.

"How can I be so sure, Edward?" Aro's hand did a sweeping motion as he gestured to our side of the field. "You have a gathering of not only vampires, but werewolves, and half vampires as well. How do I know that this isn't some kind of army planning to take down the Volturi?" He smiled wickedly at us.

"We haven't caused any violence, Aro, nor are we a threat to the secret," Grandpa Carlisle replied.

"Carlisle, old friend, we've given your family too many breaks over the years. This time I'm afraid that we can't do that," Aro said indifferently.

I heard growls from our side.

I couldn't help but to speak out again. "What have we done? None of these people have committed a crime. None of these people have broken the law." For some reason, I could not keep my mouth shut. I'd much rather that they be angry with me and hurt me than the rest of my family or Jake and his pack.

It was Caius that spoke this time, "We have a witness that informed us of the size of your coven. He expressed concerned with your alliance with the wolves, and he said that it lets too many humans in on the secret. Is that not true? Do human relatives of the wolves know our secret?" I glared at Nahuel, standing proudly beside Marcus, beaming as if he had done some great service.

No one answered. They were overstepping their boundaries and using any excuse necessary to accuse us of breaking the rule. I was shaking with anger, mostly at Nahuel. He set this whole thing in motion. "Is he the reason you've come here? Is he the credible witness?" I shrieked. Dad stood at my side but I moved away. "Did your witness tell you the reason he came to you? He was angry that he was rejected."

"We have no choice in the matter. There are no more chances for the Cullen family. We've already given too many," Caius said.

"This is my family!" I shrieked. "You can't take that away from me. You can't take everything I love away!" As I said this I thought of all the great times my family and I have had, and I became furious. "You won't take that away from me!" I yelled.

I heard everyone gasp, and I realized that my anger somehow allowed me to project my thoughts to everyone without even touching them. I thought harder; this time I thought of Nahuel and of every moment we spent together. Every word he'd ever said to me. I replayed those last threatening words the last night he was here. _You see, _I thought, _he did this out of spite and anger. He has no real credibility, no real proof. He's out for revenge and you are allowing him to carry it out unjustly. You are supposed to up hold the law within our world, not break it. You would be killing without justification if you gave in to Nahuel's will. Don't let him destroy my family because he was rejected. Please, _I begged the Volturi. I ended my thoughts and looked at them, hoping that they would have a change of heart. My hopes came crumbling down when I saw that Alec's black mist slowly slithering toward us.

"We are willing to do you the favor of not letting you feel a thing. We do not wish for a war," Aro offered.

"So you're doing us a favor by taking away our senses and making our deaths quick?" Dad asked. "We don't agree to that." He smiled a dark smile when the black mist did nothing to us because of Mom's shield. _What did they think? That we were just going to let them kill us without a fight? They had to be insane!_ The Volturi looked disappointed, but they were stalking towards us. This was it. We all crouched at once, as if it were perfectly choreographed, readying ourselves for the fight. I was out in front, ready to offer myself up to the Volturi before they could touch the people I love, but Mom, Dad, and Jacob took guarded positions in front of me.

I began to pray silently for my family, for my friends, and for Jacob. If no one else made it, he had to make it out of this alive. I couldn't bear it any other way.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed it! <strong>


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 19: Change<strong>

The Volturi stopped in their tracks, their faces portraying shock and confusion. Their heads whipped wildly around in every direction, not focusing on one particular thing, as their hands went out in front of them as if they were feeling their way to their destination.

Dad turned to Mom. "Zafrina has blinded them," he said in an urgent voice.

Mom took a bag that she had been hiding in her jacket pocket and handed it to me. "Go, Renesmee. Now! Jake, keep her safe."

_No! _I yelled in my thoughts.

I stood there looking from one to the other. They wanted me to leave while they stayed and fought. They wanted me to live while they died. I couldn't condone it, and I would not leave my family and friends to die. All of them were fighting because of me.

"_Go now_!" Dad whispered fiercely into my ear.

When I still didn't move, Jacob nudged me with his nose. I sighed in defeated and got on his back and we ran. We ran from the death sentence that hung over our heads, freeing ourselves from the battle at hand while everyone else stayed to fight. I held on tighter to Jacob, and I nestled my face into his fur and started to cry. We were leaving them to fight and die. _Was this a part of their plan all along? Was the plan to sacrifice their lives for mine?_ I didn't know where we were going, but it was obvious that Jake wanted me as far away from Forks or La Push as possible.

Jake ran for hours and occasionally I would look up as trees passed in green and brown blurs. When I thought that we would never reach our destination, he finally slowed and then came to a stop. I looked up to see where were, only to find that I couldn't gage from the scenery a definite place. Trees surrounded us as far as the eye could see, but from the faint smell of humans, there must be civilization somewhere nearby. I hopped off his back so that he could phase.

Once he phased and threw on his shorts, he pulled me into his arms, squeezing me tight and placing a kiss on my forehead.

"Is it over?" I asked.

"No," he said quietly.

"Are they okay?" I looked into his eyes for the truth that only they could tell.

"Edward and Bella are fine, but everyone is still fighting." I could see that he was telling me the truth.

I took a sigh of relief. _My mom and dad were okay, but what about the rest of them?_ I was too afraid to ask. "I want to go back, Jake, we have to help them."

"We can't, they made it clear that they didn't want you there. Apparently this was a part of their plan, to get you out of harm's way."

"But where do we go? What do we do? My home has always been right outside of Forks, I've never been past Seattle. What are we going to do? Where are we? When can I go home? Who will be there? Where do we go from here?" I asked and with each question my voice got higher pitched, and I was sobbing hysterically.

Jake pulled me closer to him and held me tight. "There's a hotel a few miles away."

"Do we have any money? I don't, do you?"

"I'm willing to guess that Bella put some in the purse she gave you."

I looked down at the purse that my mother had given me. I ran my fingers over it. It was the only thing I had that reminded me of her. It was the last thing she touched. I opened it to find that the small thing was stuffed with papers, two wallets, a black one for Jake and sparkly blue one for me, and some type of book. I handed him the black one and I pulled out the blue one. I opened it to find a Florida driver's license identifying me as Vanessa Wolfe. The wallet contained a wad of hundred dollar bills and a credit card. It wasn't just any card; it was a black card with no limit. The name on the card was the same as the name on my driver's license. I looked up at Jacob, who was examining his own wallet. He showed me his license with the name Jake Wolfe on it. He also had a black card and some cash.

He sadly smiled. "Bella gave us new identities...Jake Wolfe."

I showed him my license. "I guess I'm Mrs. Wolfe." I couldn't bring myself to smile, not when my family's life was hanging in the balance back home.

Jake put his palm to my cheek and caressed it with his thumb before kissing me softly. "We're going to be okay and so are they." He took my hand and we walked toward the hotel.

As we neared the hotel, I saw a sign revealing that we were in Weeping Water, Nebraska. Upon arriving at the hotel, we were greeted by a smiling middle aged woman, welcoming us to the Spring Lake Inn. It was a one story hotel with maybe forty-five rooms in all. We paid for our room with our newly acquired black card under the name Jake Wolfe. The woman, whose nametag said that she was Allison, pointed us in the direction of room number three and wished us a happy stay in Weeping Water and Spring Lake Inn.

The room we were assigned was nothing special. There was just one bed, some very drab, tan curtains, and a small TV. There was a small bathroom in the room as well. I looked around and sighed. "So this is what our life is going to be for the next few days? It should be over by then, right? We can go home in a few days?"

Jake was hesitant. "I can't take you back until Edward sends word by the pack."

"So that's it? We live hotel to hotel? Constantly on the run until it's over?"

"I don't know. It seems like Bella has a plan for us." He tapped his new driver's license.

I immediately understood. "She wants us to go to Florida? What's in Florida?"

"Did she leave us anything else in your purse?"

I opened my pursed and dumped everything in the space between Jake and me on the bed. Two cell phones dropped out. These phones weren't mine and Jake's; I had never seen them before. These phones were small, sliver flip phones, much simpler than my iphone and Jake's blackberry. There was also a small photo album that fell onto the bed. I pushed them aside for the moment so that I could go through all the papers that Mom had left us. There were two birth certificates, one for a Vanessa Masen and one for Jake Wolfe. I showed them to Jake. "So I guess I was born Vanessa Masen, and now I'm Vanessa Wolfe?"

"Looks that way." He showed me a marriage license. On the parental permission line the names Anthony Masen and Marie Masen were signed.

There was another piece of paper with an address on it. It had no name, just an address for somewhere in Jacksonville, Florida. "I think Mom wants us to go here." I handed him the paper and pulled out what appeared to be high school registration forms that were already filled out, again with the names Vanessa and Jake. "She wants us to go to high school?" I asked confused and in disbelief. I handed the forms to Jake and picked up the last piece of paper. It was a note from my parents.

_Renesmee, _

_Your dad and I love you. Never doubt that, honey. We will see you again when all of this is over, but right now we need you to trust us. If we could save one thing in all of this it would be your life. If that's all the hope we have, we've done the right thing. You deserve a full life with Jacob, and we've provided that. I know that he will take good care of you. Your dad and I will call you or let Jacob know when it's safe for you to come home. I've provided you with some place safe to live. Go to the address that I've given you, and live your life as a normal teenager; it's what you've always wanted. We love you, sweetie, and we love Jake too._

_Be Safe, _

_Mom & Dad_

I was sobbing by the end; the note was no longer legible through my tears and shaking frame. It was true. They'd sacrificed my life for theirs. They might never call; I might not ever be able to return to the place I'd once called home. Jake took the note from me and pulled me into his arms, holding me as I sobbed for everything I'd lost. I'd lost my home, my family, my friends, and I'd lost my life. I couldn't live life as Renesmee Cullen any more. I had to live life without the familiarity of the small town of Forks and the loving smiles of the people that were my family. Life now would be lived as Vanessa Masen Wolfe. At least I still had Jacob. He was the one part of my life that was still the same. I spent the entire night sobbing in his arms until I fell asleep.

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><p>We decided to stay one more day at the hotel, and leave for the airport that night. I spent most of the day in Jake's arms. We didn't speak; we were, in a way, quietly accepting the changes our lives had undergone so quickly.<p>

Jacob looked into my sad eyes and I saw that it was killing him to see me this way. He gave a half hearted smile. "You know, if you keep crying like that people around here are really going to think that the weeping maidens have returned." He wiped a stray tear that had escaped from my eye.

"What weeping maidens?" I asked, my voice raspy from the sobs.

"It's the legend of Weeping Water. I read about it in a brochure while you were sleeping. The legend is that two tribes of Native Americans waged a battle in this valley. They had a fierce and bloody battle and both sides had heavy losses. That night, in the camps on opposite hills, cries of anguish could be heard from themaidens. For hours, they wept until their tears began to make trickling streamlets that flowed down into the valley and formed a larger stream. They named the stream "Weeping Water" and it's been flowing ever since."

"Oh," I managed to say when he was done. To him, he was just telling a legend, but he had no clue how close to home that story resided with me. There were two tribes – covens rather – waged in battle as we spoke, the Cullens and the Volturi. _What if that battle ended with heavy losses on both sides, or what if it ended with heavy losses on just one side, the side that mattered to me the most?_ I let the thoughts take over my mind and silence filled the air, but I refused to cry anymore in front of Jacob. It tore him apart inside to see me hurting and he couldn't help.

"Jake?" I finally broke the silence. "Could you go see if we can go home? Maybe we won't have to go to Florida." I'd thought that maybe if it was over, if everyone was alright, we could go home and not have to get on that plane.

He didn't answer right away. "I guess I could check. It would be a waste of time to get on the plane if we could go back." He got up and kissed my forehead. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

As he left, I took that time to fall to pieces. I sobbed more hysterically than ever. I tried to keep it somewhat together when Jake was in the room, so I took this time alone to get it out of my system. My body shook with my sobs. I really hoped the fighting was done. I hoped that I could go back to my home soon. As the tears fell and my sobs filled the room, I realized that I was a weeping maiden, weeping for the possible loss of the ones that were fighting for me.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed it! <strong>


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 20: The Pack Mind<strong>

**Jacob's POV**

As I walked from the hotel and into the woods, the image of Nessie's watery smile clogged my brain. I admired her for trying to be strong and putting on a smile, when I knew that she was torn inside, fearing the worst for her family and friends. She wanted to know the outcome of the battle back home, but I didn't. I didn't want to hear of the carnage left from the fight. My feet treaded slowly as the woods blanketed me in safety. I was prolonging the inevitable, but I was far enough into the forest now that I wouldn't be detected if I phased.

I closed my eyes, feeling the warmth overcome me as my body transformed from one form to the next. An image hit me at once, but I couldn't make sense of it. I could barely see what was happening. The image was blurry and unfocused. _Was someone hurt? Was this why the image was distorted?_ I soon realized that it was not because of the others that the image wasn't clear, it was because I was fighting against what I was seeing.

Through the others' eyes, I could see smoke and piles of ash. There was a sadness associated with the image that I couldn't understand, but it all came together within seconds. The smoking stacks weren't ash, they were vampires. At the realization, air whooshed out of my lungs painfully.

_Who?_ I thought to no one in particular.

_Zafrina, Senna, and Ben,_ Embry answered somberly.

A whine escaped me at the news. This would devastate my angel. Over the years Zafrina and Senna had become extended aunts to her and Ben was like a big brother.

_How did this happen?_

_Zafrina could only keep them blinded long enough for you two to escape. Once her powers faltered, the Volturi attacked. We were all busy fighting, so we didn't know that the odds weren't in Zafrina's favor as she was being cornered by_ _more than one of them. Senna realized what was happening first and she tried to even the odds, but she wasn't the strongest fighter and by the time any of us realized that they needed help, they were being dismembered and burned._

A lump was forming in my throat as I saw the events occurring in Embry's thoughts as he recanted the tragedy. I didn't even want to know how Ben was murdered, but his thoughts had taken that turn on their own accord. I was seeing Carlisle fighting Caius, but Alec was sneaking up behind him. I wanted to yell out to Carlisle to move out of the way, but I knew it would do no good. All of a sudden, Ben sprang into the space between them, but he was defenseless against the black mist that had rendered him senseless. Embry wanted to help him but Jane was keeping him and Leah busy.

_EMBRY! _I screamed in my head. _I don't want to see anymore. Just answer my question this time. Are the rest of them okay? How are Bella and Edward? If she lost them, it would kill her. I don't know what I'm going to do if…_

_They are fine, _Embry answered after I trailed off. _Everyone else is fine. Collin and Quil got a little banged up, but it's nothing a couple of hours of mending can't fix._

_So I can bring her home now? I take it that the fighting is over?_

_NO! _Embry, Seth, and Leah yelled at once.

_Edward doesn't want Ness anywhere near here, _Seth informed me.

_You're not allowed to return until you have been give permission, _Embry chimed in.

_Trust him, Jake. He knows what is best for you two. He wants you to stick to Bella's plan, whatever that is,_ Leah advised me.

_I hate to hear of the losses we've suffered, but I'm glad to that you are all safe. I'll be in touch._ With that, I quickly phased back into my human form and took the path back toward the river instead of to the hotel.

I needed time to contemplate how to break the news to Nessie about her friends. This wouldn't kill her, but it would wound her. Suddenly, the legend of Weeping Water held all the significance in the world to Nessie. She had experienced a great loss in the battle between the two covens.

I sat there for an immeasurable amount of time before my feet would carry me back to the hotel. I needed the time alone to gather my own composure, because those three not only meant a great deal to her, they were also important to me as well.

As I walked into the room, I found her lying in bed, asleep, with tear streaked cheeks. She had been crying while I was away. I gathered her in my arms, placing a soft kiss on her cheek. I would not wake her to give her the news that would turn her world upside down. In her sleeping state, she appeared serene and happy, and I was not capable of taking that away from her right now.

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><p>A few hours later, Nessie began to squirm in my arms. I knew that she was waking up, but I silently dreaded what I had to tell her once she did. I kept my eyes closed, pretending to still be asleep.<p>

"Jake," she whispered, shaking me. "Jake, can we go back home?"

I slowly opened my eyes, staring into her hopeful brown eyes. "No, I'm sorry, baby, we have to go to Florida."

"But why, Jake?"

"I'm not entirely sure, honey. They didn't give me any reasons why…I was just advised not to come back," I said plainly.

"How are my parents? Are they okay? They didn't get hurt did they?"

_She only asked about her parents! I don't have to tell her yet. _"Edward and Bella are fine. From what I'm told they didn't get hurt at all."

She opened her mouth to say something else as she studied my face, and I felt myself tense for the question that I knew would follow. Renesmee took a deep breath and snuggled into my arms once more.

"Okay." She sighed. "Can we stay here one more night and leave in the morning?"

"Sure, sweetheart, anything you want."

I spent the rest of the night holding her, running my fingers through her hair, and kissing her softly. I whispered reassurances that everything would be alright until she fell asleep. Our lives would be turned upside down from this point on, and all we had was each other.

**Hope you enjoyed it! **


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 21: Awakening the Beast<strong>

Nessie's POV

The next morning I woke up wrapped in Jake's sweet embrace and it felt like home, or as much of home as I would get now. We had to leave for Florida in a couple of hours and getting on that plane would make everything so real. Fleeing from everything I knew and being someone else would become my life as soon as the plane takes off. Jake was all I had of home now. We only had each other.

He was sound asleep. Worry was evident on his face, even in his deep slumber. I gently caressed his forehead, trying to smooth the worry lines. My fingers traced the features of his face; the pads of my thumbs followed the curve of his lips. Jacob was truly a work of art and seeing him resting peacefully brought a weak smile to my face. He was the only happiness I had to look forward to now that we were living for the unknown future.

I soon woke Jake so that we wouldn't miss our flight. He grumbled but finally woke. We didn't have any luggage, just the purse that Mom had given me and the clothes that we were wearing, so checking out of the hotel didn't take long.

Jake and I arrived at the airport with only a few minutes to spare before our plane took off. Normally dazzling humans wasn't a practice I did on a regular basis, or one that I approved of, but if we wanted to get to Florida with a bit of daylight to spare, I needed to dazzle our way out of security checks and other things that could delay us.

When we were on the plane, worry started to set in. This wasn't worry about what Florida would hold for me. This was more concern of what being in close proximity to all of these humans would do to me. I had never been in contact with more than at the most ten humans at one time - the wolves not included. There were a hundred or more people boarding this plane. As the last remnants of fresh air were sealed off when the door closed, I began to smell the overwhelming scent of their sweet nectar. An urge that I had tried so hard to resist was bubbling up inside of me, a beast that had never been released was scratching at the surface.

Jake could feel my body tense beside him and he grabbed my hand, making soothing circles on the back with his thumb. A searing ache began to creep up my throat. I had experienced this faintly, but never to this magnitude. I became attuned to the juicy, pulsing veins of the people around me. Hearing their blood pump through those veins made my mouth water.

It was so easy for my parents to resist the urge to sink their teeth in, they could just stop breathing and it wouldn't be so bad. I was part human, so I needed to breathe. I closed my eyes trying to tune everything out, but I could feel Jake's gaze on me.

"Nessie, are you okay?" he asked with worry evident in his voice.

I didn't know if I could speak without sinking my teeth into the person in front of me, so I kept my eyes closed and sent him a thought. _I need food! There are so many humans, Jake. I'm thirsty! I've never wanted a human's blood like this before, but there are just so many of them that I can't ignore it._

"Don't worry. I'll get you something to eat." I heard Jake clear his throat to get someone's attention. "Excuse me, is there any way that my wife could have something to eat? She isn't feeling well, and I think the food would help her out."

"Yes, well I'll see what I can do," the stewardess replied.

Soon after, she returned with quite a few snacks, which I devoured in no time. I wanted any thing to relieve the hunger and thirst that I was experiencing. The food did little for the burn in my throat but at least I wasn't hungry, and I would be able to control myself enough not to feed on humans.

I leaned my head on Jake's shoulder and closed my eyes once more. _I'm sorry. If I was human you wouldn't have to fear for the lives of the innocent people on this plane…I suppose if I was human we wouldn't have to be here in the first place. I'm sorry, Jake._

A tear trickled down my cheek, but I didn't know exactly why I was crying. Maybe it was because I was ashamed that my vampire side got that out of control or that it almost won. Maybe I was crying for what I couldn't be.

I felt Jake's soft lips touch my forehead. "You don't have to apologize for being who you are. I love you and I was never afraid because I knew you could never hurt these people."

I nodded in acknowledgment and began to drift of to sleep. Sleeping was my best decision because it kept me from thinking of blood, it kept the humans safe, and it kept Jake from seeing the beast I just realized was within.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed it! <strong>


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 22: Florida<strong>

After the plane ride from hell had come to an end, we haled a taxi. The air in Florida was humid, the sun shining brightly in the sky. I was thankful that I wasn't a full vampire, or I would be shining like a princess's tiara right now. There was merely a faint glitter to my hands and face. I also noted how inappropriately I was dressed for the weather. I was dressed in a long sleeve sweater, blue jeans and chucks. If I was getting funny looks, it wasn't because of the shimmering of my skin. It was because I was the most clothed person in Jacksonville.

As we slid into the back of the cab that we haled, the driver gave a smile and small nod into the rearview mirror at us. "And where can I take you two today?" he asked.

"The nearest mall, please," Jake replied.

"Sure thing," he said as he bobbed his head to a song on the radio.

He was smiling and I began to think to myself, _this is not what stereotypical taxi drivers are like. Normally, they are angry about traffic or rude to customers._ Oddly enough, I began to smile too, but his smile slowly faltered.

"Excuse me for asking, but is something wrong, Miss…"

"Wolfe, and no, nothing's wrong," I choked out, startled.

"It's just that your eyes are sad, even though your lips are turned up at the corners. It's not really what you're feeling right now."

Jake and I exchanged glances, not quite sure how to respond, so I opted to say nothing.

The cab driver continued on, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Always remember that."

"Th...thank you, I really needed those words of wisdom." He didn't know exactly how much I needed to hear those words. I was going to do the impossible. Live a life without my family. I was going to some mystery location that my mom was dead set on to be safe, and I was going to have to go to school here also. That had me in major freak out mode.

The cab driver slowed and announced, "Here we are."

When the car stopped, Jake tossed him a fifty, and we hopped out of the car. I looked up at the building in front of me, and there was a sign on top of the front door that read _The Avenues. _Renewed sadness overcame me once again at the memory of the last time I had been shopping and who I was with. Jake seemed to read my mind as he squeezed my hand and tugged me forward.

"You'll see her again, don't worry," Jake offered.

I bit my lip to keep the tears back. This was not the time for tears. "So why are we at a mall right now? Was the black card burning a hole in your pocket?"

"We need to at least look the part of people that decided to move here from Washington. Right now, we look like two runaways with no luggage or belongings."

I just gave a nod, and we proceeded into the mall. We visited the Coach store to buy luggage, and Jake even offered to get me a new purse, but the one I had was the only remnant of home that I had left. I wouldn't dare get rid of it.

Jake and I meandered through the crowds and various department stores for a while. Every now and then he would check on me to make sure that the throngs of people weren't going to trigger my animalistic instincts once again. On one occasion when he looked over at me, I was disappointed and annoyed that my boyfriend had to keep tabs, making sure that he wouldn't have to stop me from killing anyone and I said, "I'm fine, babe. I'm not going to attack anyone. I ate on the plane, remember?"

"I just want to make sure you're okay." He kissed my lips softly and pulled me into Aeropostale.

"Um...Jake...I don't shop here."

"I was just going to look around for some things -"

"No," I groaned. I loved Jake just the way he was, as a simple and to the point dresser. I didn't want him to change that because he had a black card at his disposal. "Your new identity never said you had to turn into one of those Aeropostale boys! There are two stores I'm not allowing you to enter, Jacob Black, those are Aeropostale and Abercrombie and Finch." I steered him back toward the entrance. "Men's Wearhouse and PacSun, please."

* * *

><p>I stood on the side walk looking across the yard at a light blue house with white shutters. There were flowers painted on the shutters in a vast amount of colors. It gave the house a unique, yet familial feel. I couldn't understand why Mom would send us to a house that was already occupied. There was a green Toyota Camry in the carport, and I could hear a human heart beating inside the house. I looked back at Jacob unsurely as he was getting the bags from the trunk of the cab.<p>

"Are you sure this is the right address?" I asked.

"It's the very same that Bella wrote down," he replied.

"Why would she send us to an occupied house? Who lives here?"

"We won't know until we go up and knock."

I took one of the suitcases from his hand and began rolling it up the sidewalk. My heart began to thud painfully with every step I took. Once we reached the door, we stood there for two minutes in silence before Jacob took the initiative to knock. As we waited, we both held our breath. I heard shuffling of feet across a carpet and the steady heart beat of the human grow louder. Forty-five seconds later, the door opened and I gazed into chocolate brown eyes that mirrored my own. The rounded face and brown hair, complete with the chocolate brown eyes reminded me of the faint memory I had of my mother before she was turned into a vampire.

For an instant I was immobile, shocked that this could be...could be my grandmother. I looked to Jacob, who was just as shocked as I was that Mom would send us here.

"Hello, how can I help you?" she asked with a warm smile.

_What to say, what to say? I can't just stand here gaping at her. I have to say something. _"We're friends of Bella's and she gave us this address. She said that this would be a safe place if we needed one."

Her smile faltered and confusion replaced her once welcoming features."Are you in some kind of trouble with the authorities? This isn't a safe house. I'm not going to be responsible for harboring fugitives. I'm very sorry. I can't help you." She was about to close the door when I threw out a hand to hold it open.

"Wait! Please, we're not in trouble with the authorities. Life in Forks is just a little tough, and we need some place to go. We just got here this morning. You have to know that Bella wouldn't have sent us here if she didn't believe that this was the right place for us to be." My grandmother looked at me intently as I spoke. Her gaze kept drifting to my eyes. There was no doubt that she was seeing her own looking back at her.

"How do you know my daughter?" Renee asked warily.

"We've known her for a very long time. You know her; we have to be very special people for her to go to such lengths to keep us safe. Believe me when I say that she loves me dearly, and I love her just as much." Tears were forming in my eyes as I pled with her to take us in.

There was silence for a long while. Renee's eyes never left mine while her mind churned over the possibility of taking two strangers in. Her eyes began to scan me and I could feel the heat of her vigorous scrutiny and my face flushed red. Wonderment filled her face and then I knew what she was seeing. She was seeing Charlie's curls, Bella's eyes, and the Cullens' beautiful looks. The similarities were all there and laid out for her to see, but the age was what didn't and would never add up to her. I knew the question that she was about to ask next.

"How old are you?"

"I'm 16, and he's 17," I lied.

Another silence followed as I watched her forehead crease, no doubt adding up the years in her head that would never fit.

"You two can stay for dinner, but I'll have to talk to my husband, Phil, about anything past that point," she finally said, stepping out of the way so that we could come inside. "I'm sorry I didn't ask before. What are your names?"

"I'm Jake Wolfe." Jake reached out his hand for her to shake.

After she was done, she looked to me expectantly. "I'm Vanessa Wolfe."

"Oh, I didn't realize that you two were related."

"We're not. She's my wife," Jake said proudly.

"Your wife...wow! You two are just kids and you're married!" she exclaimed.

Jake put his arm around me and gave me a reassuring hug as he said, "We are very sure of our feelings for one another."

"That's great because if Phil and I agree to let you stay, we only have one guest room." The warm smile she'd had before crept back to her lips, and I was beginning to think that maybe she was looking forward to having us there.

The house was quaint and small. It was uniquely Renee, and it screamed of the eccentricity that my mom had talked about. The living room was bright and full of color. The walls were painted bright yellow, the furniture was blue, and the carpet was many different colors intertwining into paint splatter designs. As I stood there looking around the room, I saw pictures of my mother in various stages of her life. My eyes were transfixed upon one picture in particular. It was my parents' wedding picture. Seeing them happy and smiling made my heart ache for what I had left behind a few short days ago.

I could feel a lump forming in my throat and tears stinging my eyes. "Excuse me, Mrs. – "

"Call me Renee."

I mustered a half smile. "Renee, is there any where I could lie down for a bit. I don't want to impose but I'm extremely tired."

"Of course, the guest room is down the hall, first door on the right."

**Jacob Pov**

When Nessie went to lie down, I watched as Renee's eyes trained themselves on me. She was scrutinizing me and I was nervous as hell! I'd met her before and I was sure that ten years wouldn't erase someone's memory that fast. She may not have precise recollection, but I knew that there was no way she didn't notice me. I waited for the questions that I knew would come, and I had to collect myself and figure out what web of lies I was going to spin to ease her suspicion.

"What did you say your name was again?" she asked, her face scrunched and her brows knit, reminding me of Bella.

"Jake…Jake Randolph Wolfe."

"You seem familiar, have we met before?"

"No, ma'am. I think that you may be thinking of my cousin, Jacob. He was Bella's best friend. They say that all of the Quileute boys look like brothers. I didn't believe it until I moved to La Push a few years ago. There are striking similarities between us all."

"So I take it that you know my Bella as well?" Renee was making me nervous. She was wearing an "I'm not buying the bullshit" look.

"I sure do, Jacob introduced us and we became fast friends. It's because of her that I met Vanessa. I owe Bella my life for that and for this as well, even if it's just a home cooked meal for the night."

She smiled nodding and seemed to let it go…at least for now. "I should go check on Vanessa," I said as I stood.

"Phil will be home soon and then we'll have dinner."

"I can't thank you again for all of your generosity," I commented as I headed down the hall.

**Nessie's POV**

Dinner with Phil was anything but normal. He sat quietly observing us as we ate. I was the most watched of the two, even though they'd seen Jacob before and just weren't putting the facts together.

Phil had finally broken the awkward silence that plagued the table when he asked, "How did you say you know Bella?"

"Actually, she used to babysit me when I was an a kid, and as I grew up she became like a sister to me."

"How old did you say you were?" he asked with the same puzzlement that Renee had playing out on her face about our ages.

"I'm 16."

"Oh," he said as silence enveloped us once more.

As dinner came to an end, Renee cleared her throat. "Phil and I discussed it, and if Bella sent you here, I can't just turn you away. There is a reason she entrusted me with you two and so I would like you to stay for as long as you need to."

I went around to hug them both. "Thank you so much for this. I know it wasn't an easy decision, but we are grateful all the same."

I offered to wash the dishes, but they shooed us away, so we retired to our new room.

"It worked…it really worked! Mom's plan worked!"

"I know." Jake smiled, picking me up and swinging me around in a circle joyfully. "But, of course, now you know what that means…"

I pouted and mumbled under my breath, "School." I was not looking forward to that.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed it! <strong>


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Another steamy chapter! hope you enjoy!  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 23: School<strong>

I woke to the sound of Jake rustling around the room. I sat up in bed, smiling as he put on deodorant and threw on a green t-shirt. He actually looked like he fit in Florida. His casual t-shirt and khaki shorts were a norm for him. This seemed like where he was supposed to be, but of course that was just Jacob's way. Jake adapted to every situation with ease. He didn't complain, he just did what he had to do, and I loved him more for that reason. Jake could've very well stayed with his pack and family, but he gave it all up for me.

"Morning, beautiful. How'd you sleep?" he asked when he noticed that I was awake.

"I slept surprisingly well, thanks." Jake enveloped me in a hug and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips. "Do you remember the first time you asked me that?"

He looked at me hesitantly, no doubt unsure if a trip down memory lane was a good thing for me, but I had made a promise to myself in Nebraska that Jake would never see me shed another tear. I would live this life as normally as possible.

Since he didn't answer, I put my palm to his cheek and replayed the night that I first slept over at his house. I truly missed when our relationship was easy. Jake covered my palm with his own and then he brought it from his face, twining our fingers and kissing the back of my hand.

"How could I forget the first time that I got to hold you in my arms the entire night? I felt like the luckiest man in the world. You could have chosen any man, but it was me."

"It always has been and always will be. I will always be yours, Jake...never forget that."

"I won't, I promise," he said with certainty.

He pulled me up off the bed and into his arms, and he held me there for quite a few minutes. I understood why he did this without having to ask. Life was uncertain and even though I was here today, I could be gone tomorrow. The fact that we were in Florida right now was a testament to that. A few short days ago, I was with my family in Washington, and now I was here in Florida with only a photo album and a purse to remember them by.

Jake kissed my forehead, nose, and finally my lips. His touch was so gentle. The innocence of the gesture broke my heart a bit. Since we left Washington he has treated me as if I would break. The passion of his kisses, the love in them, had disappeared. Always chaste kisses, nothing more.

_Maybe he blamed me for him leaving his family behind. Maybe he hated Florida, but he is sticking with me out of obligation to my mother. _The thought almost tore me apart. I bit my lip to keep from crying.

"We need to get to school. Renee agreed to drop us off today. I called and all the paperwork has been done," he announced.

"Great, let's get this show on the road then!" I said with all the fake enthusiasm that I could muster.

I went to the shower and turned the water on. As soon as I stepped in, I let the tears go. I was in this unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar people, and I was forced to pretend to be someone I was not. I could never be Renesmee and I probably would never see my family again...if they were even still alive. Now I was in Florida with a pretend husband that may or may not still love me, no matter what his words suggested. Actions always held true no matter what, and so far his actions made me feel rejected.

I cried until no more tears would form, and I heard Jake yelling for me to hurry or I was going to miss breakfast. I quickly dressed in a pink tank top and a light wash, jean skirt. He opened the door as I was sliding on my pink flip flops. "Ready," I said before he could say anything.

We made our way to the kitchen to find that Renee had cooked omelets and had set places for us at the table. She greeted us with a smile. "Your husband tipped me off that you liked eggs. I hope you enjoy them."

I thanked her and we sat in silence as we ate. Jake scarfed down three omelets and seven pieces of bacon before it was time to go. "I'll go get our backpacks," he announced as he left the room.

"You aren't going to finish your omelet?" Renee asked.

"I'm much too nervous to eat much more. I've never been to a public school before. I was always homeschooled by my family members. Each one of them took a subject to teach me. Mom taught me English. She loved literature, so it's needless to say I'm a fan of the classics."

"I'm sure you'll do fine. You know, Bella loves literature as well. She's a big fan of the classics too." I gave a dim smile and got up to empty my plate and load the dishwasher. When I was done, Renee surprised me by wrapping me into a hug. "I'm glad that you kids are here. It gives me a purpose. I get to look after someone else for a change. Everyone seems to think I need to be looked after."

"I'm glad that you're okay with us being here. I didn't want to impose," I said as I hugged her back.

Jake arrived shortly after with our backpacks. He handed me mine and then we were on our way to school. The drive to Jacksonville High was only fifteen minutes from Renee's house. As she dropped us off, my nerves began to get the best of me. I keep nervously fidgeting with my clothes.

"You look beautiful, maybe a little too beautiful. I think I may have to kick any guy's ass that comes near you today," he joked.

He grabbed my hand and led me to the main office where we got our class schedules and notes for our teachers. "So what is our first class?" I asked, not really interested just trying to break the silence that was between as we roamed the empty halls.

"Well..." he hesitated. "My first class is English, and yours is Pre-Cal...You're registered as a junior, and I'm registered as a senior." He held both of my hands in his, watching my reaction.

"Great..." I looked down at my hands in his.

"Baby, I'm worried about you. Are you going to be okay? You're not going to...you know..." he trailed off.

"I'm fine, Jake. I'm not going to kill anybody. I ate, so I can control my hunger," I said with a little more attitude than normal. I almost started to cry at the fact that my boyfriend had to worry about whether or not I would kill any humans on my first day of school.

Jake silently walked alongside me to my classroom. "Here we are. Baby, you're going to do fine so don't stress. I love you." He kissed me on the cheek and began walking in the other direction.

Before I entered the room, I could already smell the overwhelming scent of all the humans' blood, collectively making my mouth water. I hadn't eaten enough to fill me up and sitting in this class room full of humans was going to be a test to half of my nature. I walked to the front of the room and handed the teacher the slip of paper that the secretary had given me. He welcomed me to Jacksonville High and handed me a book, directing me to find an empty seat. I was thankful that he didn't introduce me to the whole class. I didn't want to draw anymore attention to myself. Unfortunately, luck was not on my side for a second time. The only empty seat was in the middle of the room. I made my way there and a set of piercing green eyes caught mine. I gasped as I took in the sight of him. He had dirty blonde hair, a brilliant, dimpled smile, and those eyes... If it weren't for his heart beat and the blood rushing through his veins, I would've sworn that he was a vampire. He was perfect.

As I sat, I could feel his eyes still on me. My face burned with the blush that his gaze was causing. "Hi," he said in a melodic voice. "I'm Dylan. You must be new here."

I gathered myself enough to say a few words. "I'm Vanessa Wolfe." My throat was searing with pain as I opened my mouth to speak.

Dylan held out his hand for me to shake, but I dared not touch him due to the fact that there was a juicy vein at his wrist that I was craving to sink my teeth into. Instead, I shook my head no at his gesture. "Germs," was all I said.

"Oh, you're a germ-a-phoebe? That's cool. Where are you from?"

"Washington." I gave him one word answers because with each word it felt like razorblades were carving the inside of my throat.

"There's not that much sun there, huh? You're so pale, but I hope that doesn't change with you being down here. You're like a beautiful porcelain doll," he said, daring to reach out and caress my cheek. I tensed at his touch, shrinking away.

_That boy doesn't know the extent of how much of a doll I am not. I could easily kill him, just to satiate the hunger and burn that I was feeling._

_"_I'm sorry, I know that was very forward of me. It's just the person I am. I have no filter; I say what I think, no matter what."

I just nodded and turned my attention to the teacher, taking his forwardness as an out so I wouldn't have to talk to him for the rest of the class period.

I spent the rest of the time there holding my breath so that I wouldn't kill any of the humans in that class. I could see the headlines now, _Beautiful Porcelain Doll Massacres Pre-cal class._ With my extreme determination, and Jake not around to feel sorry for me and unknowingly make me feel guilty, I was able to hold my breath for 45 minutes - a personal best. I would have to tell him of my accomplishments at lunch.

As soon as the class was over, I bolted out the door to find my next class and avoid Dylan all together. The boy didn't know that I was danger and messing with me could result in his death. I arrived in Spanish class to find that, other than the teacher, I was the only one in the room. We talked for a while in Spanish, and she was pleased to know that I was fluent in the language, and she let me know that this class would be a cinch for me. I laughed inwardly because she didn't know that every class was a cinch for me. I could teach these classes if I wanted to. After my discussion with Mrs. Etheridge, I retreated to a desk in the back by the window. I spent the next seven minutes before class began taking in all the fresh air that was flowing in from outside. Students began to file in soon after, but I paid no attention until I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Hola." Dylan smiled.

I gave a sigh and turned to face him. "Hola." I then turned to look out the window once more.

"Hablas Español?" he asked, not taking the hint that I didn't want to talk to him.

"Soy fluida en la lengua. Mi tía me aprendió," I bragged. Aunt Carmen had taught me Spanish when I was younger and now I was a fluent speaker of the language.

"Oh, really? That's great because I could always use a tutor..." he trailed off, waiting for me to offer my services.

"That's nice." Because I am who I am, that's all he got. If I were truly mean, I would have told him to fuck off. Jake and I already had enough problems without adding some hot human to the equation. Besides, Jake could get very jealous and I didn't need to betray his trust anymore than I already had in the past. Dylan was just another test of my faithfulness.

Mrs. Etheridge began class, and unlike my Pre-cal teacher, Mr. Anderson, she did make me stand up and introduce myself. Fortunately, nobody really cared or understood the monologue about myself that I gave in Spanish. I was just too advanced for them I guess, or they didn't take the class seriously enough to learn. After I took my seat, I began staring out the window once more, breathing in the glorious air that was allotted to me.

After Spanish was over, it was time for history class. I was supposed to go to room 115, but I couldn't find it. I studied my schedule over and over to make sure I had the right room number. I wasn't paying much attention to my surroundings at all and someone ran into me and knocked me down. I sat in that spot for a moment, trying to process how this occurred. I had never fallen in my life and here I was sitting on the gross floor in the hall of Jacksonville High. I was so tempted to stay there. As the bell rang, I saw a hand reach out to me. I looked up to see Dylan.

"Are you okay, Vanessa?" he asked, genuinely concerned. This was the first time he had appeared to be a sweet guy, and not some jerk out to bag the new girl.

"I'm okay, I just got knocked down. I was trying to find my history class," I informed him as I took his hand and allowed him to help me up. But keeping with pretenses, I pulled out some germ-x and cleansed my hands.

"Let me see your schedule." He looked over my schedule and I saw a smile spread across his face. "We have the exact same class schedule. You're in all of my classes! I'll walk you, if you'd like."

"Sure, that would be great." I couldn't help thinking that the sweet Dylan-the helpful, nice guy that I was seeing-would end up being a great friend.

Dylan picked up my books and when I reached for them, he told me that he didn't mind carrying them. We arrived at history and I was thankful for being able to snag another window seat in the back. Dylan handed me my books and went to his seat at the front of the room. History was another subject that I need not bother paying attention to. I had Uncle Jasper to thank for that. He was the history buff of the family.

I wondered how Jake was doing on his first day of class. Surely there were girls throwing themselves at him. I couldn't help but admit how lucky I was to have him, even if he is just staying with me out of obligation. Jake was sexy but he was also smart and sweet. He was a goofy romantic and I loved him. I pulled out my new cell phone and used it for the first time to text Jake.

Hey, sweetie, I miss u.

I miss you too, baby. We have 25 mins til we can see each other again, Jake sent back.

Those will be 25 very long mins. I'm going to shower you in kisses when I see you. I actually doubted if he would let me, he'd probably pull away.

I'll hold u 2 that, he replied.

The rest of the class was spent being silly through text messages with Jake. He complained about the music his Music Appreciation teacher played. It sounded to him like whining cats. The rest of the messages consisted of "I miss you's", "I love you's", and we tried to one up each other on how much we were missing the other.

The bell rang and before I could run out the door to my man, Dylan caught me. "Hey, you headed to lunch?"

_No shit, Sherlock, what do you think?_ "Yeah, actually I am." He grabbed my books from me and continued walking with me towards the cafeteria.

"So you never told me why you moved here."

"Oh, just needed a change of scenery, and there was family trouble so I moved in with my grandmother," I said almost honestly.

I scanned the lunchroom for Jacob, and I found him at a table far away from everyone else, sitting alone with two trays in front of him. He looked up at the same time that I looked at him, and I began to run over to him and jump into his arms. I made good on the promise to shower him with kisses. I kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his nose and his lips.

"Jake," I said when I was finished. "You have no idea how much I've missed you!" I hugged myself to him tighter.

"I do, because I've missed you just as much, sweetheart." He pressed his lips to mine, giving me a quick peck on the lips.

I heard someone clearing their throat behind me. "Oh...I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed, taking my books from Dylan. "Jake, this is Dylan. Surprisingly he's in every one of my classes, and he offered to carry my books."

Jake tensed as he sized Dylan up. I knew that Jake was angry that another guy was carrying my books. "Isn't that what she has a back pack for?" Jake suggested rudely.

I hit him on the arm. "Jake, be nice."

"It's okay, I don't blame him for being defensive. You have a very beautiful girlfriend, but don't worry, I'm not going to try anything," he assured.

"She's not my girlfriend, she's my wife."

Dylan's face revealed shock and disappointment before he composed himself. "Oh...congrats on the marriage."

He sat down at the table and so did we. Jake slid my tray over to me, and I began eating the horrible pizza that occupied my tray. He gave me a knowing glance and I didn't dare half eat it. I knew that he knew what I was going through. The secluded table was the answer to my suspicion.

"So how did you guys meet?"

"Jake and I grew up together. He was my best friend, so it was fitting that we'd end up together. I'd had a crush on him for years before he finally noticed," I answered.

"Hey, I was the one that came clean first about my feelings." Jake smiled at me and all his tension seemed to go away.

"But -" I began.

"Dylan," an annoying blonde whined from across the room. "Why are you over there with _those_ people?"

Dylan looked irritated. "Danielle, this is Jake and Vanessa," he introduced us as she strutted over to our table.

"I don't really care who they are," her nasally voice dragged on. "I care what people think of me and having my boyfriend sitting here with them instead of me looks bad."

_Bitch! _I thought to couldn't hide the smile that came across his face at hearing that.

"Fine, I'll be right there," Dylan conceded.

"Not later, now!" she whined. Dylan gave an apologetic look in our direction before trotting off behind Danielle.

Jacob and I waited until they were all the way across the room before we began laughing hysterically. "Your new friend is whipped."

"He just trotted right behind her like a sad puppy," I added. Jake's expression changed into a mock pout. "Not that there's anything wrong with puppies," I amended.

He kissed me on the cheek and with that I had had enough. I knew then that he was just tip toeing around me and tolerating me because he didn't want to let my family down. "Jake, you know if you don't want to be with me anymore, all you have to do is say so. I'm not holding you here."

I stood and left the table. I didn't want to hear him confirm my beliefs that would just hurt too much. He could just leave now, run and keep going all the way back to La Push if he wanted. His life wasn't in danger. The safest place that I could retreat and cry my eyes out in was the Janitor's closet. The dam of emotions broke once again, and I cried for how alone I felt. I heard a knock and I yelled for whoever it was to go away. If it was the Janitor, he or she could just unlock the door and tell me to get out.

"Don't be like this...what's going on, Nessie?" I didn't reply, so he continued, "Talk to me, honey." I took a deep breath and opened the door.

When he walked in, he closed the door behind him. He saw that I was crying and immediately closed the distance between us. He wiped the tears that trailed down my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. "Baby, talk to me."

"Jake, I know you don't want to be with me anymore. I can tell by the way that you touch me."

"What are you talking about? I will always want you."

"Then touch me, damn it! You haven't really kissed me since before the battle. You regard me like I will break, and handle me like I'm a child instead of your girlfriend. If you're going to leave me, if you don't want me, then leave now. I don't want to be your obligation."

"Renesmee, look at me!" He lifted my chin forcefully. I could see in his eyes that he was angry at my accusations. "How many times do I have to tell you that I love you? I'm here, aren't I? You think I don't want you? I was being considerate! We just left your entire family behind. I didn't want to take advantage of your vulnerabilities like that. I didn't think you would want to so soon."

"I'm at the point where I have lost everything. You're all that I have left and so far your words and your actions don't match up. The chaste kisses, the forehead kisses. I'm supposed to be your fucking girlfriend! Why -"

My sentence was cut short when Jacob's lips crushed mine in an angry, yet forceful kiss. I felt all the need, the love, and everything that he had been holding back in that kiss. His hands gripped my bottom roughly as he lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his waist. My back was pressed against the wall as Jake's mouth took mine mercilessly with nips and kisses. I began grinding my hips against him and a growl escaped him. He began assaulting my neck and as soon as he bit down, I fisted my hands in his hair, grinding against him harder. He was gripping my shirt like he was about to rip it.

"Jake, I don't have another shirt -"

He ended my sentence by pulling down the straps, so that my shirt was around my waist, and he began flicking his tongue over my nipples over and over. He took one hardened nub into his mouth, biting down as he tugged and rolled the other between his thumb and forefinger.

"Oh, Jake," I cried out quietly, not wanting to be overheard by anyone lurking in the halls.

He brought his lips back to mine, and I felt his hands moving up my thighs, pushing my skirt up, revealing my pink panties.

"I'm so glad you wore a skirt today," Jake grunted as he hooked his finger in the side of my underwear and ripped them off. The only thing that remained between us was Jake's shorts and boxers. I began grinding against him once more, letting him know what I wanted. He thrust upward, wanting me to feel his erection. "Baby, how could you ever think I don't want you? Don't you see what you're doing to me?"

He unbuttoned his pants and let both his pants and boxers fall down to his feet. He lowered me onto him slowly, taking care not to be too rough at first. I began moving my hips in a grinding motion and he let out a hiss. He stilled my hips and began thrusting into me harder every time, pinning me to the wall and making me powerless to his will. I wrapped my arms around his neck, one of my hands tangled into his hair, tugging as he filled me over and over. His lips stayed plastered to mine, his tongue caressing mine, as he pounded into me repeatedly. Jake's hands found my breasts once more as we made love. His thumbs passed over my nipples, igniting shivers with every pass. I could feel that I was close, as was he, when our love making became frantic. We were building toward one of the best orgasms I had ever had. As my body began to twitch, I was toppling over the edge and Jake plunged into me again and again, causing me to cry out his name, before his own climax came over him.

Jake let me slid down his body so that my feet were once again on the floor. I picked up my panties...or what was left of them and stored them away in a pocket of my back pack. I grabbed my purse and pulled out a travel size packet of baby wipes and cleaned myself up and handed Jake one.

The silence was becoming too much, but soon Jake spoke, "You carry around wipes in your purse?"

"I decided that Vanessa would be a germ-a-phoebe so that she wouldn't have to shake hands with humans if the scent became too overwhelming."

Jake began to smile, trying to fight the laughter at how ridiculous that sounded, but soon we both were laughing. It felt good to laugh with Jake. After we were both dressed, he gathered me into his arms and kissed me slowly and sensually. "I love you," he said as he began kissing my neck.

"Jake, if you don't stop we may never leave this closet again."

"Spending forever with you in a closet...endless sex...I don't see a problem with that."

I giggled, swatting him away as the bell rang. "We've missed a class already, so we better get to the last one."

I was walking out of the closet when Jake grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "Nessie, I'm sorry that I made you think I didn't want you. I always want you, honey. Maybe more than I should. I think about being with you constantly. I'm bound to you, more so than you are to me. I can't not love you and not want you. Even if I had never imprinted, I would have fallen for you. Ness, you are the perfect match for me. You know that, right, princess?" He looked at me smirking. He had to ruin a perfect moment by calling me princess.

"In the words of the great Taylor Swift, 'I'm not your princess and this ain't a fairytale'." I elbowed him hard in the ribs as we walked out of the closet and into the empty hallway.

"I think this is a fairytale and you're my Snow White."

"Snow White doesn't fit, how about Beauty and the Beast?" Without allowing him to retort, I kissed him and ran off in the direction of my Chemistry class.

Class had already started when I tried to slip in as noiselessly as possible, which wasn't hard for me. My half vampire side kept me almost as silent as my parents when I walked. The teacher stopped whatever she was doing as I walked up to her. She didn't ask me a thing and I handed her the note, hoping that she would just think that I got lost along the way. She told me that there was only one person in class without a partner, and I was hoping that it wasn't Dylan. I looked around the room to find a dark skinned girl with long, wavy black hair looking down at her book with an unoccupied seat beside her. I let out a sigh of relief, collected my book, and went to meet my lab partner.

I took my seat beside her, and she looked over at me and smiled. "I'm Vanessa," I said, holding out my hand for her to shake.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Amya." She shook my hand and then shortly after I reached into my purse for the wet wipes to keep up the pretense that I was a germ-a-phoebe. As I did this, I saw her reach into her purse for germ-x.

I giggled. "You don't like germs either, huh?"

"Oh, I thought I was the only one. People around here think I'm a weirdo, hence no lab partner for me. I'm surprised that you dared sit next to me."

"You have no idea what kind of freak of nature I am. I'm new at school, and contrary to popular belief, people don't really care about the new girl. Especially that annoying Danielle," I said with disgust.

"You've met her, huh? I don't know what Dylan sees in her. Her voice makes me want to pound my head against the desk just to make it stop!" she exclaimed.

"Me too!"

"So how do you like it here so far?" I admired how she didn't pry into where I was from, or why I was here now. She asked a sensible question, genuinely wanting to know the answer.

"Now that I've found someone I can relate to, I like it here a lot better." I smiled at her.

She returned the smile. "I moved here two years ago and I had yet to make a friend."

"Well, you've got one now," I told her.

We spent the rest of the class period listening to the teacher lecture about what is expected of us in this class. I had a feeling that Amya would soon become my best, if not my only, friend. When class ended, we realized that her locker was two down from mine. "Wow, what a coincidence!" I said.

We exchanged contact information and then Jacob walked up. "Amya, this is my husband, Jake. Jake, this is Amya."

The look on her face was priceless as she looked up at him. There was initial shock from the fact that we were married, there was even more shock at the size of Jacob, and then I believe I saw her drool a little at how stunningly handsome he is.

"Ha...hi, it's...ni...nice to meet you," she finally managed to say.

"It's nice to meet you too," Jake said, amused as he shook her hand. "It's about time that I see Nessie with a girl friend, rather than Dylan."

Amya giggled. "Well, I better get going. I'll see you guys later. Call me, Vanessa."

Jake and I walked outside to see Renee waiting for us. She had many questions about our day at school, and she listened intently and seemed to be bustling with excitement as I told her about meeting Amya.

Once we were home, Jake announced, "I'm going to go for a run and maybe shop around for a car. What do you think?"

"I trust your judgment. After all, you are the mechanic." I leaned in a bit closer to whisper in his ear. "Try to get an update from home, okay?"

He nodded and kissed me slowly and tenderly. Had it not been for Renee bustling around in the kitchen, I would have taken him right there in the middle of her living room. Jake finally pulled away with a knowing smile on his face as I bit my lip, fighting back the urge to ask him to stay. As soon as he walked out the door my cell phone rang. I knew it wouldn't be him, so I was expecting it to be Amya because she was the only other person with this number. It was neither of them. The caller ID displayed that my dad was calling.

**Hope you enjoyed it! **


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 24: Bad News<strong>

Part of me didn't want to answer the call, yet the other part of me was dying to hear his voice. I flipped the phone open and put it to my ear and pressed send.

"Dad," I said desperately, hoping that it was him.

"Renesmee -" he said before I cut him off.

"Dad, are you okay? What's going on?" I asked frantically.

"I'm fine, Nessie, we're fine. Are you and Jake in Florida with Renee?"

"Yeah, we're here, and she is letting us stay. We went to school today."

"That's good because Bella was sure that she'd let you stay. How did school go?" He sounded relieved that I was out of harm's way.

"Not like Mom described her first day, that's for sure! No one cared who I was except this guy named Dylan, who happens to be in all of my classes. He's nice sometimes," I informed, trying to prolong the time before I asked the question that was nagging at me.

"And what does Jake think about this Dylan?" Dad asked and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"You already know what he thinks. He doesn't like him. In all honesty, I'm not sure if I like him either. He can be pushy and persistent and other times he can be nice and sweet. I don't know, and he has this annoying girlfriend! Dad, her voice is so nasally, and she thinks she owns that school."

"That's high school. It's what you've always wanted, right?" He laughed. "Your Mom wants to speak to you."

At that moment, I readied myself for the waterworks. Dad was easy to talk to, he was level headed in most situations, and he was a closed book. I could never read him because he always managed to stay composed on the surface. This phone call sounded like a normal thing between father and daughter, but I knew Mom. As soon as she heard my voice she would fall to pieces, tearlessly sobbing which would break all of my composure.

"Mom," I said when I heard the slight noise of wind whooshing as the phone was exchanged.

"Sweetheart, I miss you so much." Her voice was already shaky.

"I miss you too, Mom." Tears began to sting my eyes.

"You made it to Florida safely, didn't you?"

"Yes, everything went okay." I knew she knew me better than that.

"How was the plane ride? I know that and school must have been tough because you aren't used to so many humans in a very enclosed space."

"It was okay. Jake was with me, and he helped out a lot," I assured her.

"I'm glad he's around to help you, sweetie. He's been great. Tell him that we love him and miss him too. I can't talk long this time. We've got to go, honey. I love you."

"I love you too," I nearly cried. Tears were rolling down my cheeks by this point. I missed my parents so much. Being without them made me feel like I was missing a part of myself. "When can I come home?"

"I'm going to put your dad back on, okay," she said as if she didn't hear me. I could tell that she was sobbing by the way she said each word slowly.

"Dad, when can I come home?" I asked again.

"Not any time soon," he said.

"Why? Did something happen?"

"Nahuel and Aro got away. I don't want you anywhere near here while they are still alive. We're doing everything we can to find them."

"They got away? How?" My voice was just a whisper.

"When they saw that things weren't going in their favor, they bolted. We were all too occupied fighting to notice."

"Did anyone get hurt?" This was the question that I hadn't asked Jake, it was the question that I had to know the answer to, yet I didn't want to hear it.

He hesitated. "We had some losses, Nessie."

My heart dropped into my stomach at this news. "Who?"

"Senna, Zafrina, and Ben."

"What…they died? That can't be…there must be a mistake…" I wasn't making sense to myself at this point. I knew my father knew that they were dead. There couldn't be a mistake in vampire death. The only way to kill a vampire was to break them apart and burn the pieces. Images of watching Irina get burned flashed through my head, only I imagined the three that Dad had named in her place.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I know you loved them."

I let silence permeate the air. I was walking to the bedroom when I got this news. I stopped midway there and just slid down the wall in the hallway. I could still hear Dad talking, but I couldn't register what he was saying. My mind wasn't racing; it was at a stand still, not processing any information.

"Renesmee! Are you okay? Do you hear me?" he yelled, getting my attention finally.

"Yeah." My voice shook. "I'm fine, todos bien, Dad," I lied. Everything wasn't fine.

"I have to go. I'll call you again in a few days, okay?"

"Sure"

"I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you too, Dad."

As soon as the line went dead, I lost all of my composure. The phone slid to the floor and I sat staring blankly at the wall in front of me. My mind was stuck on an endless loop of my dad's words. _We had some losses, Nessie...Zafrina, Ben, and Senna._ How could this have happened? Because of me, my friends were dead. I had brought this on them. It was all my fault and I knew it. I didn't deserve to live because my existence caused all of this_. They died while the coward Renesmee had run. They sacrificed their lives for me, and I didn't deserve it. I didn't call them as much as I should have when they were alive. I didn't tell them that I loved them like they were a part of my family._ I curled into a ball on the floor as my body shook with sobs. I could hear my own inhuman shrieks as I lay on the floor with my eyes closed, only seeing them.

I was acutely aware that Renee had entered the hall. She dropped down to her knees, stress in her voice as she asked me over and over what was wrong with me, but I couldn't talk. I was paralyzed with sorrow and frozen with guilt. She grabbed my phone, mumbled about calling Jake, and then she pulled me off the floor and into her arms. Renee rocked me back and forth, rubbing her hand up and down my back soothingly, but nothing could soothe the feelings of guilt that overwrought me.

"He's not answering," she said. "Did he say where he was going?" I had heard her, but couldn't make sense of the meaning of her words or process how to answer her at that moment.

We sat that way for a few minutes longer before Jake finally came back home. He turned down the hall and stopped, taking in the sight before him. "What happened? Nessie, what's wrong?"

I said nothing, not even Jake could bring me out of my paralysis. "She was on the phone and all of a sudden I heard these shrieks and sobbing. I found her in the fetal position on the floor shaking all over."

Jake said nothing. He just transferred me from Renee's arms to his. I snuggled into him feeling the warmth of his skin, because all the heat had drifted from my body. I didn't realize that we were in our room until I felt the softness of the bed beneath me. He lay in bed beside me, wiping the tears from my eyes. It all seemed like déjà vu. My life was a steady stream of sorrow and pain. Surely life wasn't supposed to be this hard, nothing was.

I cried for hours, sobbing relentlessly. It felt as if my heart was breaking into small pieces. It was almost painful. _How could I have run? It was my fault. I could have saved them. It should have been me. I was the one that the Volturi wanted, why couldn't they have taken my life instead. I didn't deserve to live while they died. They didn't deserve this. I didn't deserve a new life; I didn't even deserve the old one._

Jake finally spoke after a while, "Baby, what happened?"

"They died, Jake! Because of me they died!" I screamed, still sobbing.

"Shh…it's not your fault. No one blames you." He gathered me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me.

I didn't deserve love, especially not since Tia's mate died because of me. I began to beat my fists on Jake's chest. "No, Jake, no! I don't deserve you. Not after what I've done. It's not fair! It's just not fair!" I beat harder, clawing at his shirt.

Jake said nothing; he just let me get it out of my system. When I had grown tired and ripped his shirt completely, he pulled me close and lay with me, saying nothing. He knew that there was nothing he could do but let me be. There was nothing that one can do when someone suffers a lost, besides just listening and being there, and that's what Jake offered me for the rest of the night, just the comfort of his presence beside me.

When I woke, I found that it was noon. Jake had let me sleep through school for the day. I found a note on his side of the bed.

_Querida Renesmee,_

_I let you sleep in, you needed it. I'm gone to find us a car. I know what you like and you won't be disappointed. I have a surprise for you later._

_Te amo._

_-Jake_

I laughed at his attempt at Spanish. Though it was correct, I knew Jake didn't know any Spanish. He probably looked it up because he knew it would make me smile. I remember trying to teach him Spanish when I was younger, but those days seemed a lifetime ago and in some cases it was.

I managed to drag myself out of bed and into the shower. It refreshed me, but did nothing for way I felt inside. I felt even worse for the way I had pummeled Jake last night. I had some big time apologizing to do. After my shower, I dressed in a simple black dress in mourning of my friends. Leaving the bathroom, I went into the kitchen. Renee was smiling warmly.

"Good afternoon, how are feeling?" she asked hesitantly.

"I'm okay," I said, noticing that my voice was hoarse. All the screaming I did had done a number on my voice.

"Jake filled me in on what happened last night with the car accident. I'm very sorry about your friends, losing someone is always hard."

I just nodded, trying to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat as she mentioned my friends. "I made some sandwiches for lunch if you want one, and there's some juice and water in the fridge," she told me.

Nodding once more, I went to grab the plate that she had made for me and fix myself a glass of water. I ate my food in silence as Renee moved around the kitchen doing housework. She was comfortable in the silence and it didn't bother me at all that we weren't talking. When I finished with my lunch, I returned to mine and Jake's room, sitting in bed hugging a pillow and staring at the wall. I had become lifeless at this point. I was going through my day without any emotion. Emotions hurt, and if I could, I would eliminate emotions all together. Getting attached to people only caused heart ache when they left my life.

There was a soft knock on the door and then Jake walked in. "How are you, sweetheart?"

"I'm okay," I said without looking at him.

"You sure? I figured that you wouldn't be up for school today." I nodded and he came over, taking the pillow from me. He lifted my chin so that I could look at him. "Don't shut down on me, please. I'm here, always."

"I know," I whispered. _But I don't deserve you. You need someone less complicated, with fewer problems, _I thought to myself.

"You are what I deserve, honey. I love you," he said, shocking me. I must not have been concentrating hard enough on keeping my thoughts private. I projected them to him accidentally.

Jake leaned down placing a soft kiss on my lips and tears trickled down my cheeks. He tried to pull away but I pulled him closer, deepening our kiss. Jake allowed me to pull his shirt over his head, and he allowed me to kiss my way down his chest, unbuttoning his pants and taking them off. I stood, letting my dress slip down my body to the floor. I got back into bed with Jake, wrapping my arms around him and he did the same in turn. We lay there, wrapped around each other, in only our underwear. It was comforting being skin to skin with Jacob. This moment was both intimate and innocent at the same time. He allowed me to just be. In that moment, we were just Jake and Ness. Nothing else mattered.

"I love you too," I whispered in the silence.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed it! <strong>


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**A/N: Only five chapters left until the end of the story! It's been a roller coaster that keeps on going! Hope it's enjoyable!  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 25: Makeover<strong>

Waking up was the hardest thing that I had to do since the day my dad told me of the deaths of my friends. So many times I wished that I could just fall into a sleep so peaceful, so relaxing that I could just die, but I was immortal and there was no sickness or deathly ill situation that would ever occur for me. The only way that I could die would be if someone killed me, and I wished on more than one occasion that someone would.

I carefully extricated Jake's arms from around me, so as not to wake him, and made my way to the shower. Looking at my self in the mirror made me sick. I hated my reflection and really didn't want to be the monster I saw staring back at me. Renesmee Cullen was a horrible person that was responsible for the deaths of the people she claimed to love. I was practically a living, breathing Lady Macbeth, walking around saying 'the blood, the blood'. There was too much "blood" spilled, so to speak, and it was inadvertently my fault. I wanted to escape it. That life was in the past, and my parents had given me an escape from that. I could never be fully human, but I could at least pretend to live a normal human life. Vanessa Wolfe would be the person that I became and would forever be. I would be the complete opposite of what I used to be.

This shower that I took, in a way, signified the cleansing of my guilt and the birth of a new and improved Vanessa Wolfe. As I hopped out of the shower, I knew that my transformation would not be complete if I didn't give myself a makeover. I tip-toed back into the room and grabbed a small box from my suitcase. I didn't think I would need to dye my hair after Renee had let us in without any problems. There was no need for a disguise because she bought our story and didn't dwell too long on my appearance. I hopped back into the shower, this time to dye my hair blonde.

After completing that task, I began getting dressed. My clothing of choice for the day was an off the shoulder blue mini- dress that hugged my every curve and was short enough to be considered a long shirt, and I also donned some blue pumps. For the first time ever, I applied red lipstick, mascara, and smoky blue eye shadow. I never gave make up a second thought before, but now I began to appreciate the fact that it made me look even less like myself. To complete the new me, I straightened my hair.

I walked out of the bathroom and down the hall to my room as Jake was making his way up the hall. His head was down and he seemed deep in thought as he almost pummeled me. I touched his shoulder and he looked up, mumbling that he was sorry, before really looking at me.

"Ness?" he asked as if he was unsure.

"Who else would it be, silly?" I giggled.

He ran his fingers through my hair, his mouth agape. "What did you do?"

My smile faltered and I felt tears stinging my eyes. He hated the new me. "I'm sorry; I can try to change it. It's not permanent dye, so I can fix it."

"No, no. Baby, if you love it, so do I. I just wish you had told me." His thumb brushed across my cheek, and he leaned down to press his lips against mine. He pushed me up against the wall as his hands roamed over my body. "Are you trying to test me to see how long I can keep my hands off you at school? This dress makes me want to…" He dipped his head down to my neck, placing nips there and all along my bare shoulder. Jake brought his lips back to mine before saying, "I almost feel like I'm cheating on you…you look so different."

I laughed. "Would you like to cheat on me with me, Jake?" I seductively purred. "That could definitely be arranged." My lips were only centimeters from his, and he leaned down to kiss me. I stopped him.

"But we're going to be late for school." I smiled and dashed to the room.

Gathering my books, I headed to the kitchen. Renee did a double take once she saw me. "I'm sorry, have we met before?" She laughed.

"I just felt like I needed a change and since getting out of my own skin isn't an option, changing it seemed to be the next best thing."

"Ignoring life doesn't really help anything. Dealing with what life throws at you is how you get over it," she counseled as she placed a plate in front of me.

I got a queasy feeling as I looked at the eggs on my plate. Eggs reminded me of the person I used to be, which meant that I detested them with a passion right now. I opted to eat the bacon and toast that also occupied my plate. She noticed and commented, "I thought eggs were your favorite."

"They were, but I'm just not in the mood for them today, I'm sorry." I felt guilty for not eating the food. After all, starving kids in other countries, and even starving kids in this country, would kill to have the food that I was wasting. I shook off my guilt and shuffled the eggs onto Jake's plate. "Jake will eat them."

I looked at the clock on the wall to see that we had fifteen minutes before we had to leave and Jake was still in the bathroom. I knocked on the bathroom door. "Jake, it's almost time to go and you still haven't eaten. C'mon or we're going to be late." I walked in to find him buttoning up his shirt. I moved his hands away to button it for him and kiss the bare skin of his chest before I buttoned each button.

When I was almost done, he said, "I think you should stop teasing me before we never make it to school, Renesmee."

I stopped abruptly, standing stiff. "Don't call me that," I almost hissed out. "Vanessa is fine, or Ness, I'll even allow Nessie, but never again call me that name!"

I walked up the hall without another word, grabbed my backpack and waited for him in the living room. Jake walked up, backpack in tow, and headed out the door, not saying a word to me. He walked to the sexiest car I had ever seen. I stood with my mouth open at the beauty that he was now cranking up. This was not just an ordinary car. This was a 1967 baby blue convertible Chevrolet Camaro with silver lining on the sides of the car, and baby blue interior. I cried a little inside at the sight, and my first thought was _I want to have sex on that car._ Followed by _I want to have sex in that car._

As I slid into the passenger's seat all I could say was "wow". Jake didn't even smile at my reaction. I knew that I had unfairly upset him. "Jake, I'm sorry I snapped at you. It's just that I don't want to be that person. I want to forget that all those horrible things happened, and I want to forget that life."

He turned to me. "I'm a part of the life that you want to forget. Do you want to forget me too?"

"No, Jake, listen." I climbed into his lap, straddling him so that I could look at him fully. I put both my hands on his face and looked into his eyes, but instead of telling him I showed him how I was feeling. I showed Jake how it felt to hear of my friends' deaths. I showed him how it broke me that he yet again had to pick up my pieces, how it pained me to look at myself in the mirror this morning, and how I wished death upon myself when I felt undeserving of waking up. It was only then that he understood why I needed to escape that life.

Jake didn't comment on it, he didn't say anything because he knew that I would fall to pieces after revisiting those moments. He just kissed me, and I understood that this meant that all was well and he understood. I slid back into the passenger's seat and I saw Jake smiling.

"What are you smiling about?" I smiled too because his grin was infectious.

"You in that dress and those heels in this car…the fantasies in my head are endless." His eyes were black with lust.

"Baby, we got ten minutes to get to school."

"Fine," he said, defeated and finally started out of the driveway.

When we arrived at school, all eyes were on us. We were finally getting the "shiny new toy" attention that Mom mentioned when she was new at school. In the parking lot, the car vultures surrounded us, wanting to know what kind of car we had and all the details. Jake proudly informed them as I found Amya standing back in awe.

"What did you do?" she questioned.

"I decided that a change was in order." I smiled and waved to a guy behind her that was standing a few feet behind her, staring.

"Can I get a Vanessa special makeover? You look even more gorgeous than I thought possible. I mean you were already breathtakingly beautiful, but now…all the guys are walking around with their tongues hanging out of their mouths even more so than they were before!"

"Amya," I heard a familiar voice call from across the lot. "Who's your friend?" Dylan asked as he got closer.

"Already on the prowl again?" I arched an eyebrow at him. "I thought I was the only new girl that you were so insistently after. Dylan, I'm hurt." I pretended to be insulted.

"Vanessa, that's you? You've…a few days…how…_damn_. Come over here and hug me. We all heard about your friends' car accident. I'm sorry," he said as he embraced me and his hands gripped my ass.

Before I could do anything, I heard a growl from behind me and Jake appeared. "Get your hands off my _wife's_ ass before I break them off and kick _your_ ass with it," Jake commented harshly.

Dylan let go of me quickly as if I had burned him. I went over to Jake, wrapping my arms around his neck as he possessively pulled me close. I knew that jealousy, magnified by imprinting, was eating at him and he had to prove that I was his. He planted a kiss on me that was very inappropriate for the public eye. His hands were all over me and I heard quite a few whistles and gasps and girls sighing, but I let Jake do what he needed to do to get his point across.

When we finally broke for air, I looked pointedly at Dylan and smiled. I let go of Jake and walked back over to Dylan, grabbing his hand and bending it backward as he screamed. "Get a good look at it as I walk away, because that's the last time you'll ever touch my ass."

Jake grabbed my hand and I sauntered away, swishing my hips exaggeratedly, no doubt making Dylan drool. "You have no idea how hot that was. That was badass!" Jake exclaimed once we were at my homeroom class.

"It's the new me. I can handle my own if that fucker touches me again."

"And you've gained a foul mouth as well? I have no doubt that you can handle your own." He leaned down and kissed me before heading off in the direction of his homeroom.

It was within the first five minutes of homeroom that I regretted staying away from school for a day. I was close to being desensitized to the scent of blood, but now I could smell it full force once again. Thank goodness that homeroom was only ten minutes long, this was getting hard to deal with, especially since I convinced myself that I wanted a human lifestyle. Sitting there, I had almost convinced myself that I could never be human and that I should own up to what I am and just have a massacre in homeroom. I walked out of the room trying to shake the inner monster off.

_You can do this, you can. You would never take a life for blood._ I kept chanting to myself. I went to the bathroom, glad that it was empty, and texted Jake.

Jake, I need your help. I'm in the girls' bathroom across from my homeroom.

Be right there, he replied back.

When he walked in, he had a knowing look. Jake knew me too well sometimes. "Sweetheart, it's okay. Everything's alright," he soothed, pulling me to him.

I buried my face into his chest and said, "I fantasized about a homeroom massacre, Jake. I just want to be normal. I want you to have a normal -"

He stepped back so that he could look at my face. "Honey, you are perfect and uniquely you. I'm nowhere near normal. I turn into a giant wolf, sometimes uncontrollably. I didn't ask to be a wolf, hell I wanted to be normal too! But I dealt with it, baby, I dealt. I learned to live with the life I was given. I need you to do that for me, okay? I need you to stop worrying about what normal is and just live your life. If not for yourself, do it for me because I can't live without you. You're my reason for existence. I love you more than words can express. Ness, you gotta give me more credit than you do. What I need is you, no one else."

I couldn't keep dragging him down because my life was a bitch. It's a bitch for everyone. We all have shortcomings, but I was luckier than most. Having Jake as my support system was all I could ever ask for.

A smile formed on my lips as the back of my hand brushed his cheek. "You know, when I look at you I see forgiveness for everything that I've done, and I see that you love me for who I am. I see your soul, Jake. I don't deserve you, but for some reason you stick around, dealing with all of my idiocy. In your arms I feel so safe, so loved, and cared for. Thank you for just accepting me."

He kissed me softly and chuckled. "I love you, honey. Now let's get me out of the girls' bathroom before I get caught in here and sent to detention."

I laughed and peeked into the hall. All was clear so Jake shuffled out with me behind him. The late bell rang, letting us know that first period had started and with one last hug, we went our separate ways.

First period went by with me holding my breath for the duration of class, and Dylan holding his wrist, giving me sideways glances. I felt bad for what I'd done to him but I had decided that apologizing would mean giving him the right to touch me however he wanted, proving that my attempts at handling my own were futile. I wouldn't give him the benefit. After class was over, he stopped me in the hall. My guard was up and he could tell.

"Look, Vanessa, I just want to apologize for what happened in the parking lot. I deserved to have my wrist nearly broken. I was a jerk and I know it."

"I should apologize for nearly breaking your wrist. Violence is never the answer, though Jake would probably disagree right now. But violent delights have violent ends," I commented with a half smile.

"Romeo and Juliet?" he asked a bit unsure if he was correct. I nodded with a full smile.

"I know I didn't make a good first impression, but I'd like to start over." He held out a hand. "What do you say?"

I shook his hand. "I'm Vanessa, and I'm new around here."

"The name's Dylan. It's very nice to meet you." He smiled breathtakingly, throwing on his charm. "You care to be shown around?"

I rolled my eyes and began walking to Spanish class, retreating to the window seat I occupied on the first day. Mrs. Etheridge talked of conjugations, present tense and things that I already knew. My mind wandered as I doodled in my notebook. My phone vibrated with a text and I smiled knowing that it was Jake.

Hey, how are you, sweetheart?

Great now. Lunch is so far away. Can't wait to see you. I texted back.

Me either. Dylan not giving you any trouble is he? I had to smile at his message. Jake was so protective, but yet not smothering and I loved him for it.

No, he apologized. Things are okay now.

I'm glad you're okay…I'll see you in a few.

Jake…Thanks for everything. I love you.

I love you too, honey.

I counted the minutes and seconds until this class and the next was over. Seeing Jake made everything okay, and when I laid eyes on him in the cafeteria all was right in my world. Like the first day, I ran to him and jumped into his arms. This time I was the one showered in kisses.

"You know, I could get used to reuniting like this everyday," Jake commented.

"Well, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder." I smiled.

"There's no way I could love you any more than I already do. My heart would burst if I could love you more." He nuzzled his nose against my neck, and we embraced for a few minutes. "Eat," Jake ordered.

He slid the tray over to me and I wrinkled my nose at the imitation meat they were passing off as meatloaf. As I was eating, Amya came to stand in front of our table, followed by Dylan.

"You mind if I join you guys?" she asked timidly.

"Sure, have a seat." I smiled at her.

Our attention was then turned to Dylan. "I just wanted to come apologize to Jake for my actions earlier. I didn't…I was being a jackass and I know it. I really hope that we can start over as well."

"Keep your hands to yourself and we're cool," Jake advised, and Dylan nodded in agreement.

"Dylan," Danielle whined. "Didn't we talk about this?" She walked over to the table. "Oh, look a bottle blonde. The stripper look isn't going to help you make friends, you know."

I stood and we were eye to eye. "Says the skank that stuffs her bra and wears shorts that barely cover her ass," I pointed out, for once glad that my eyes saw more than a normal humans, and I noticed the inconsistencies. "I've been told that bra stuffing is so junior high. Either you got it or you don't." I flipped my hair in a manner that I'd seen her do. "I was born with it."

Danielle turned on her heels, grabbed Dylan's hand and walked out of the cafeteria. I sat back down and began eating as Jake and Amya exchanged glances before they started laughing.

"You were born with it, just like your -" Jake started.

"If you make a comment about my mother, Jacob Bla-" I began to say before Jake stopped me with a kiss. I had almost blown our cover in front of Amya.

Her eyebrows were raised inquisitively, but seeing our faces she didn't follow through with a question.

"I love you, and I just wanted to appreciate where you came from is all. And what if I was going to say your dad?" Jake remarked. Amya was a fit of giggles then.

I raised an eyebrow. "Really? I got it just like my father? I'm sure he'll be pleased to know that the next time we talk." I smirked.

"You wouldn't," he challenged.

"Watch me." I wickedly smiled and planted an innocent kiss on his lips.

"You two are hilarious," Amya jumped in. "Not anything like the people I observe around here. They are all about appearance and no fun."

In my best whiney Danielle impression, I said, "I care what people think of me." This brought on another round of laughter from Amya.

We spent the rest of lunch period making fun of Danielle, and Jake giving his impression of lovesick Dylan.

"He's not too lovesick on Danielle," Amya said abruptly.

"What are you talking about, Amya?" I asked.

"Call me Mya. Let's just say Dylan has a thing for new flavors," she informed sourly.

"Did you and Dylan…" I trailed off not quite sure how to finish.

She nodded. "When I moved here, he was all about helping me and we dated, secretly of course. It was fun and exciting sneaking around with the hottest guy at school. I didn't have any friends, so who would I ever tell? He filled me with lines like 'you're my best kept secret', and his explanation of why we were a secret was worth an Oscar. 'Coach doesn't want his star football player to date, because the drama would get to me and interfere with my game'. But really, it was because of Danielle." She finished as the bell rang.

We got up and Jake walked with us to health class, which I was pleasantly surprised that Mya had as well. "That's why I have no friends. Danielle turned the truth in her favor, and I was shunned and labeled a pathetic attempted-boyfriend-stealer. For a while, Dylan didn't even acknowledge me. He just let everyone believe her."

I could see that Jake was angry. Another quality I loved about Jake was that he was compassionate toward others. He had just met Mya, yet he was ready to bash Dylan's face in again. "I knew I didn't like him for a reason," Jake interrupted.

She smiled understandingly. "He's changed a bit, or at least I thought he had. Dylan saw the error of his ways and apologized, setting the record straight. Everyone moved on, except Danielle and her followers. She still hates me."

We were standing in front of our classroom when Jake enveloped Mya into a hug. At first she was shocked, but then hugged him back. "If you want me to, I'll do what someone should have done to him a long time ago," Jake offered.

"You know what they say. Violent delights…" Mya trailed off.

"Have violent ends," I finished, smiling at her.

"Shakespeare." Jake shook his head before planting a goodbye kiss on me.

The last two class periods seemed to breeze by, mainly because my mind was reeling with the information that Mya had given Jake and me at lunch. I knew that there had to be more to the story that she wasn't telling me. I needed some girl time with Amya, so that finally she could share her story with someone. When I looked at her as she told us the miniscule details, I knew that it was like a weight had been lifted.

Once class was over, Jake met me at my locker. Amya joined us and asked, "So do you guys have plans after school today?"

I looked at Jake, and he replied, "I actually have some things to do, but you two can hang out if you want. I'll catch up later." I knew that he was giving her time to talk to me girl to girl.

"I'll text you later," I told him, and with a nod he walked toward the parking lot.

"So where do you want to hang out?" she asked.

"How about the park?" I suggested.

"Sure," she agreed.

We rode silently to the park in Amya's white Kia Rio, letting the music fill the silence. When we got to the park, I headed for the swings. For a while we swung carefree and silent still. I thought about how fast my childhood went, and how I didn't get a chance to swing and play on the playground with other kids because of my rapid growth. It felt nice just to swing and feel the illusion of flying.

"You know, when I was a kid, I never got to do this," I said, breaking the silence.

"Really? What kind of childhood did you have?"

"A sheltered one." I laughed. "Don't get me wrong, I was loved very much, but homeschooling had its disadvantages."

"Ah, understandable," she replied.

I wasn't sure if it was okay to broach the topic, but I did anyway. "About earlier…did you and Dylan ever…"

She looked down at her feet, answering the ground. "Yes." She sighed. "He was…my first."

"Mya," I said sympathetically. "I'm sorry."

"I was so naïve. I believed that he loved me because he said he did," she admitted.

"So after all that happened, how…I mean you seem to be almost friends?" I was trying to understand.

"We still talk. He calls me sometimes, and we text even more so. I guess you could say we're friends now. After he apologized, we talked. He felt bad for the way things worked out, and he admitted that he still cared for me. I was the one to draw the line. Vanessa, he hurt me. I didn't know about Danielle. If I had, I would never have gotten involved with him. We couldn't be together ever again, because even if he broke up with her, I would never be able to trust him again. But I wasn't able to sever all ties with him because we bonded for the time that we were together, and we were each other's first."

"You mean to tell me that Danielle and Dylan hadn't had sex yet?"

She laughed. "No, back then Danielle was an ice queen when it came to sex. She was practically a saint, but when she found out about Dylan and me, she quickly jumped into bed with him to "erase" what he had shared with me."

"How long were you two together?"

"About a year. I moved here in the spring semester of my freshman year, and we were seeing each other from the middle of spring until the end of fall semester of my sophomore year."

The question burning inside my mind tripped out next. "Did you love him?"

"I did. The Dylan that you know wasn't the same person I met. When he was with me, he was sweet, charming, and caring. I should've known something was up when I saw how he acted around his football buddies." She laughed. "That's the Dylan you've seen in action, but I told myself that he was himself when he was with me…boy, was I wrong. I accept who he is, and I even forgave his mistakes. It took a while, but we can truly be friends. Danielle isn't happy about it, but who cares what she thinks."

We swung silently for a while, and I got a text from Jake asking where I was. I informed him and he told me he'd be there in a few minutes.

"So, what's your story with Jake? It must be a good one, seeing as you're married." Amya smiled.

"It's kind of boring, actually," I lied. Mine and Jake's story was anything but boring, but the story I had to tell her was boring. "I've known Jake my entire life. At some point in our lives, our feelings went from sibling-like to romantic. Our parents were supportive of our relationship…well, not in the beginning, but they warmed up to it because nothing they could do would break us apart. So, marriage seemed to be the next step for us." A smiled tugged at the corners of my mouth as I thought the beginning of our relationship.

The sun was setting, casting a beautiful orange glow upon the sky as the smothering heat began to cool and the wind blew coolly upon us. I saw Jake in the distance, walking toward us.

"Sorry I didn't get to hang out with you two. I bet a missed a rousing evening of girl talk, huh?" he said.

"You sure did, too bad. A slumber party is in order next, and you just _have_ to let us do something with your nails," Mya joked.

"I like her," Jake said to me.

I laughed. "I'm glad, and our friendship was just waiting for your stamp of approval to be valid."

Mya stood and stretched. "I better be getting home." She hugged Jake. "I approve of you too." When she got to me, she hugged me tight. "Thanks. You have no idea how good it feels to be able to talk to someone about things." Amya began walking to her car and waved over her shoulder. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

As Jake drove to Renee's, I filled him in on Mya and Dylan. When we arrived, Jake parked in the driveway and the garage door was closed. I didn't ask why, I just figured that Renee and Phil were both home so, there was no need to leave it open. He walked me into the house in silence, and then around to the inside entrance to the garage.

"Jake, what's in the garage?" I asked curiously.

"I just have something to show you," he said, continuing to lead the way.

He opened the door to the garage and tears flooded my vision at the sight before me. There were twinkling lights every where, a small, black leather couch in the corner, the T.V. from our room in the corner, and in the center of the garage was a small table with a bouquet of roses, and two plates of food. It smelled like we were going to have spaghetti. It felt as if I was transported back in time, back to when things were easier. Jake had a small remote in his hand, with which he turned on a radio.

He held out a hand. "Would you do me the honor of dancing with me?"

"Of course," I said as I took his hand.

The song that was playing was not our song from long ago. I had never heard this song but the lyrics struck me as we swayed together.

_There is no guarantee that this life is easy_

_And when my world is falling apart_

_When there is no light to break up the dark_

_That's when I look at you._

_When the waves are flooding the shore_

_And I can't find my way home anymore_

_That's when I look at you._

_When I look at you, I see forgiveness_

_I see the truth. You love me for who I am_

_Like the stars or the moon._

_Right there where they belong and _

_I know I'm not alone._

I lifted my head from Jake's shoulder, realizing that the words were almost the very same that I'd uttered that day. "I heard it on the radio, and the words reminded me of yours from earlier. I want you to know that you aren't alone. I'm always here."

"Jake, this is wonderful. It reminds me of our place. It reminds me of the first time you told me you love me, the first time we got to be together after so long being apart, and the first time I got to sleep over." He smiled, gently caressing my cheek with his hand. I smiled as happy tears rolled down my face. I knew what he wanted to say, but he was unsure if he should. "Say it, I won't be upset."

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, I love you, and I'm _in_ love with you," he almost mirrored the words of a simpler time.

I caressed his cheek, resting my palm there, showing him the first time I realized that I loved him. "Jacob Black, I love you, and I always will."

He leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. Just like the first time, I felt the electricity of the kiss and my heart felt like it would spill over with the love I felt for him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he in turn wrapped his around my waist. I melted against him, and we stumbled back to the couch. With the food untouched, and the T.V. forgotten, Jake and I made love.

I felt a bit guilty for defiling Renee and Phil's garage, but on our way to the shower, Jake informed me that Phil was away teaching a baseball clinic and Renee went along. That night, nothing else mattered to me. Not who I was, or what unfortunate circumstances life had thrown at me. Just being with Jake was enough. He was everything I needed at that moment.

**Hope you enjoyed it! **


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 26: Routine<strong>

Weeks turned into months in Jacksonville, and I developed a sort of normalcy here. My routine consisted of school, hanging out, and family time. It was as easy as breathing to live this life. Humans had it so easy, nothing to worry about but fickle things, and I loved every minute of being Vanessa Wolfe. I had become almost immune to the blood of the humans I interacted with on a daily basis. Their nectar didn't call out to me and I didn't crave it. The burn in my throat was something I could ignore, if I ate properly. I'd have to be full so that the hunger would be at bay, and then fighting off the blood lust was easy for me.

The night Jake surprised me with a recreation of his garage was a turning point in our relationship. I allowed him to help me, I let him see me at my breaking point, and, unsurprisingly, he was above and beyond helpful to me. He encouraged me through times when I didn't know if I could handle the blood lust. Jake was there for me when I had cried for my family, the family that I had left behind. No matter how much I tried to be another person, I could never forget my family. They were a part of me – Vanessa and Renesmee. Jacob Black was so much a part of me now that I wouldn't be able to exist without him.

I woke to a trail of wet kisses down the side of my neck. I smiled and rolled over to meet Jake's waiting lips. "Morning, beautiful." Jake smiled, trailing a finger down my cheek. "How'd you sleep?" he asked like he did every morning.

"Every night in your arms I sleep peacefully."

He touched a finger to my nose sweetly. "So I made you breakfast." Jake walked out of the room, coming back with a tray filled with a plate of toast and bacon and there was a cup of orange juice.

"What did I do to deserve breakfast in bed?" I asked.

"I just wanted to do something to show you that I love you." He leaned down to kiss me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, parting my lips and inviting his eager tongue in. Jake was now leaning over the tray, his arms on either side of me. As I pulled him in closer, his shoulder nudged the cup of juice, almost spilling it. We both reached out to right the cup before it spilled, pulling us out of our lead up to hot and heavy. "I'd really hate for this food to go to waste. After I finish this wonderful breakfast, I'm going to show you how much _I _love _you," _I told him.

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><p>After Jake and I made love, my phone buzzed on the night stand. I smiled when I saw that it was Dad. I knew that he would call at some point this week. My family called me at least once a week now, catching up on the happenings in my life and avoiding topics that would cause me unnecessary pain and heartache.<p>

"Hey, Dad," I answered the phone.

"Hi, sweetheart. How is school going?" he asked conversationally.

"Pretty good. I'm adjusting well. I have a few close friends and life with Renee and Phil is easy."

"I'm glad to hear that, honey."

"How are things with you guys?"

"Things are well. We still have no word on Na-"

"Dad, please!" My breathing accelerated as my heart thudded. Jake saw the distress in my eyes, and he was no doubt seeing a flash of the broken girl he held in his arms night after night in the beginning.

He grabbed the phone. "Edward, Ness isn't ready to hear the updates yet. She's been down for a while, but things are finally looking up."

"She never indicated to me that anything was wrong. She seemed fine when I talked to her," I heard my dad say.

"Nessie didn't want you and Bella to worry. She figured you had enough to worry about with…with the hunt."

"Can I speak to her?" he asked. I could tell my dad was concerned. It wasn't like him to ask permission from Jake to speak to me. It was always an order.

Jake handed me the phone. "Dad, I'm fine," I said before he could ask the question.

"You know that you can talk to me and your mom about anything, sweetheart. We always worry; it's what parents do when their children are away."

"Jake's here, so I'm fine. I'm safe."

"I love you, honey. Your mom wants to talk to you now."

"I love you too, Dad." I was preparing for the lecture I was about to get.

"Renesmee." I flinched as soon as I heard the name. Only my parents called me that now. "Why didn't you tell me things were difficult, honey? I thought that sending you away was the best thing for you, but I see that either way you are still hurting, maybe even more now than you would've been if you had stayed. At least then, we all would have been here for you."

"No, it's okay. I wouldn't have wanted to be there." Tears spilled from my eyes then. "I'm glad I wasn't there to see it happening. You did the best thing, Mom. Don't beat yourself up over it. I know you and Dad, you guys will blame yourselves, but it's not your fault. People die all the time, right? The human thing to do would be to grieve and move on," I said, my voice breaking at the end.

"It's not your fault either," Mom reassured softly. "Don't you dare think it is."

"I love you, Mom," I said as I hung up the phone.

Jake was about to gather me in his arms, when I held up a hand to stop him. I closed my eyes and let a few tears fall. _Your name is Vanessa Wolfe. You have a wonderful husband, grandmother and step-grandfather. You have two best friends, Dylan and Mya. Your life is great, couldn't be better. You're finally happy_, I deluded myself. I knew that lying to myself instead of dealing with my problems wasn't healthy, but I would take what happiness I could get away with for the moment. I knew that the fallout of emotions would soon come, but until then I would suppress them.

I took a deep breath and quickly wiped the tears away, opening my eyes. "So you promised that you would teach me how to drive today. You ready?" I pretended like my mini breakdown never happened.

Jake looked skeptical, as if at any moment I would burst into tears once again. "Ah…sure," he said hesitantly. "If you're up to it."

"Why wouldn't I be? I'm fine." I gave him a quick peck on the lips and ran off to the bathroom.

After we were dressed, we headed for the car. I opened the door and got behind the wheel. I ran my hand over the steering wheel, letting out a squeak of excitement. "I think we should call her Sasha, Jake," I suggested as he got in the car.

"You just touch the steering wheel and all of a sudden Sasha comes to mind?" He smirked.

"This car is fierce, and I thought of Beyoncé's alter ego, Sasha Fierce. And naming a car Fierce would be stupid so Sasha was the next best thing," I explained.

"Why not name it Beyoncé then?" Jake asked sarcastically.

"That's a stupid name for a car."

"And Sasha isn't?" He raised an eyebrow.

I hit him in the shoulder playfully. "Stop being difficult. _Sasha_ is ready to be driven."

I started the engine, put the car in drive, and slowly made my way out of the parking lot. Every time I turned a curve too sharply or went above the speed limit, due to my family's knack for driving fast, Jake's heart hammered. He loved this car; it was like his baby – which is probably why it took him three months to agree to let me drive it. So much for doing whatever makes the imprint happy.

Once I had been driving for a while, Jake said, "I thought you said you wanted me to _teach_ you to drive."

"I did."

"You already know how to drive. This isn't what first time drivers are like."

"I'm part vampire, my learning skills are far above normal. I can see someone do something once, and probably could end up doing whatever it is better than they did."

"Now you're just being a show off," he joked.

"I am not!" I swerved to make a point. "See, you are obviously a better driver than I am."

"A better liar too."

I drove around for about an hour and then Jake and I went to my new favorite place, the park. We laid a blanket in the grass, looking up at the beautiful blue sky and talked about every trivial thing we could think of. Time got away from us in our own piece of paradise. My phone vibrated with a text message from Dylan.

**Where are you?**

Instantly, I realized that I was late for our weekly tutoring session. After hearing the history of Dylan and Mya, it put me at ease about him and in a way I understood him better. We became good friends, once he stopped hitting on me, and I agreed to tutor him in Spanish.

**Sorry! I'm at the park with Jake. I'll be there in a few.**I sent back.

"Jake, I completely forgot about tutoring with Dylan at the library!"

"There's no need to rush, he can wait ten minutes for you to get there. No need to drive recklessly," he said as we rushed to the car.

We got to the library in exactly ten minutes, with Jake driving. I leaned over and gave him a lingering kiss before I got out of the car. "Dylan will drop me off. I want to talk to him about something."

Jake trusted me enough not to ask me what it was about. He would let me tell him when I wanted, and of course I would tell him because there were no secrets between us. "See you at home."

I headed up the steps, knowing that Jake was going to wait there until I was safely inside. I found Dylan in the lobby area, pacing. He looked upset, surely it couldn't have been because I was a few minutes late. His posture was tense, fists clenching and unclenching, and his jaw tight.

"Que pasa, Dyl?" I asked.

"I'm not really in the mood for tutoring today. I texted you because I just really needed a friend to talk to. I tried to think of someone else to text, but you're the only one I have to talk to about this. I used to have…but now I have no one, and I…" He stopped talking and tugged at his hair, frustrated.

"Dylan, chill. Breathe! What's happened?" He was rambling and I had no clue what he was talking about.

"You wanna walk or something?" he suggested.

"Sure," I said softly.

We didn't walk far; I followed Dylan out of the building and then he sat on the bench out front as if he was exhausted. He sighed. "Danielle broke up with me."

I had to fight back the smile. I hated Danielle with a passion. "Why? Dylan, did you cheat on her?"

"No! Why would you think that?" I just looked at him and he quickly understood. "Forget I asked. I know why, but no, she said that she was competing for my heart."

"With who?"

"She thinks it's you." Instantly I was uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was going, but he sensed it and quickly continued. "But it's not. Honestly, I know you have Jake, and we're great as friends…" Dylan didn't finish, not wanting to go into the history he didn't realize I already knew.

I put a hand on his shoulder. "Mya told me about you two. I already know."

He looked into my eyes, unsure how to go on, so I asked, "Is she the one that Danielle is competing with?"

"I don't know…yes…I mean…she's beautiful. Not fake, she's smart, and when we were together it was…it was _amazing._"

"If you felt that way, why didn't you break up with Danielle?" I questioned, trying to figure out what happened back then.

"I was expected to date the cheerleader, not the book worm. If the guys heard me talking like this they would give me hell for the rest of high school." He laughed humorlessly. "The only reason they didn't rag on me is because I bragged about having sex with her."

"Why would you let someone else ruin your life?"

"If you hadn't noticed, high school is like being fed to the sharks. Be popular, hot, and you're safe…be like Amya and you're friendless for years. It killed me seeing her alone, but I was too much of an ass to do anything about it."

"She said you talk?"

"Yeah, in secret, never really in school. She must hate me. I ruined her life!" His head was in his hands at this point.

I had to ask him the same question I asked her. "Did you love her?"

"I love her now," he replied honestly.

"You have to fix it, Dyl, and you have to change…for her, okay? You can't be a man-whore, and you have to earn her trust back." He was still not looking at me, so I lifted his chin. "She doesn't hate you, and if my assumptions are correct, I think she loves you too."

Dylan looked up then, a smile crossing his face, but I pointed my finger at him, looking stern. "You hurt her badly. For years it's been festering, so don't expect to profess your love and she goes running into your arms. You know that's not how Mya is. If you do it now, it looks like a rebound," I informed.

"I got it, and thanks for listening. I meant what I said about us being friends, ya know. You ready to go home?" he asked.

"Sure and anytime."

He drove me home, and instead of completely wasting a tutoring session, we spoke in Spanish until he pulled up in the driveway. I walked in the house, feeling elated that _I_ could give someone love advice. I heard Jake in our room talking as I was standing in the living room. He was speaking in low whispers that not even humans would pick up, but I could.

"Yes, I know how hard it is being the Alpha. I know the responsibility," he said. "Leah, I'm sorry that it keeps you away from Jaime, but I had to do this…I understand that it's my responsibility, but I thought we agreed that Nessie was more important…I'm not dumping my duties on you – listen, I know I didn't want them at first, but I would never do that to anyone." He sighed. "You know that I can't come back right now. I really am sorry," I heard him say before he ended the conversation.

My heart dropped when I heard this. I was keeping him from his duties. It was my fault that Leah was miserable as well. His pack needed him back in La Push, and I knew Jake missed them and his dad, but he would never voice these feelings to me. He walked up the hall, finding me sitting on the couch staring at the wall. I quickly snapped out of my self-loathing bout.

"Hey, honey," he said, smiling, but his smile was slightly off.

"Hey," I responded stiffly.

"You and Dylan get a lot of studying done?"

"Not really. I gave him some relationship advice though."

"Good, that what you had to talk to him about? Amya?"

I nodded. "So what's new? Any word from back home?" I wanted to know if he would tell me.

"No, nothing," he lied.

I went over and hugged him, not willing to admit that I knew he had talked to Leah, and that she wasn't happy with being Alpha all this time. I got that queasy feeling in my stomach, which usually came with the guilt I felt about Zafrina and the others. Now I had to add two more people to the list of lives I was ruining, Leah and Jaime.

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><p><strong>I feel the need to be holding a sign that says "Will Dance For Reviews". They really do make me do a happy dance. So let me know what you think, it really keeps me posting and writing.<strong>


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 27: Revelations and Bittersweet Goodbyes<strong>

Sleep hadn't come the night after I overheard Jake's conversation. He hadn't told me anything about it, and I knew that was very unlike Jake. He was always open with me about everything, except this, and I didn't know why. It wasn't just that he was hiding this from me that bothered me; it was his whole manner after the call. Jake was more distant than ever before, and I figured that he was missing home.

He was sitting on the couch, restlessly flipping through channels on TV. "Jake," I began, "yesterday I heard you talking to Leah on the phone." His body tensed a little as he brought his attention to me. "I know she wants you to come back home."

"She was just freaking out a little. Leah's tough, she can handle the job," he said, trying to pull off indifference, but I could tell that he wasn't entirely being truthful.

"Jake, do you want to go home?" I asked directly so that I could get a truthful answer.

"Don't you?" he asked instead of answering.

"I know that you miss your pack. I know that you would never run from responsibility and it's killing you not to be there with them." I dodged the question as well.

"It's not important. Can we just drop it?" He kissed my forehead and stood. "I'm gonna go for a run. I can help Leah a bit from here. Everything's fine, Nessie, really as long as I'm here with you I'm fine," he reassured.

I nodded, but I didn't feel like everything was fine. I took out my cell phone, and instead of Dad having to call me, I called him, needing to just talk to someone. When he picked up, he sounded worried.

"Nessie, is everything okay?"

"Things are fine, Dad," I told him as I began walking to my room. "School is perfect, life at Grandma's house is perfect, she and Phil couldn't be nicer, and Jake and I are…perfect."

"If everything is so perfect, why does your tone tell me differently?" he sounded concerned.

"Because, Dad, Leah hates being Alpha and it's my fault that she has to do it!"

"How do you know that? Did Jake tell you?"

"No, I overheard him talking to Leah on the phone."

"Listen to me, Renesmee. I know this may sound a bit hypocritical coming from me, but you can't continue to blame yourself for any of this," he said calmly, but I knew that he was worried about me. "Blaming yourself will only result in a lot of pain and torture that could've been avoided. Trust me, I've lived it before, and you don't want to turn into a masochist like your brooding father, do you?" he attempted to joke.

I laughed, and it felt almost odd to hear. Though I opted to pretend that the past wasn't bothering me, I still hadn't truly laughed in a while. "They say the apple doesn't fall far," I said in humor as well. "Thanks for talking to me and giving me advice."

"Anytime, sweetheart. I love you."

"Love you too, Dad. Give everyone my love, especially Grandpa Charlie. I know he misses me a lot," I said as I ended the call, lying back on my bed to think.

**Renee's POV**

I was in the kitchen making sandwiches for Vanessa and Jake, while they lounged in the living room. It brought me joy, taking care of two teenagers. It reminded me of when Bella lived with me, except that she always tried to take care of me, whereas Vanessa and Jake allowed me to do things for them. It was a truly refreshing change of pace.

Vanessa reminded me of Bella in a lot of ways, it was almost disconcerting the similarities between them. When she arrived on my doorstep, her eyes had captivated me, and for a moment I could have sworn I was looking at my Bella. Throughout the months that I've come to know her, I've noticed ways about her that reminded me of Bella. She blushed at the drop of hat, an action that always managed to make Bella easy to read. Her nervous habit of biting her lip was also a thing that Bella used to do. These all could just be coincidences, but it wasn't just physical qualities that made me compare. She loved literature, a lot of the very same books that Bella would enjoy. When she lied, it was easy to see right through her, which was why I knew that something about her story wasn't true. But why would I take in someone who has been lying to me? Because there was something about her that made me want to take care of her. Something about her that made me feel that I've known her for a long time, yet I just met her. When she was on my doorstep, she looked lost and hurt. My maternal instincts wouldn't allow me to turn her away, yet when Phil asked me how I knew they weren't con artists, all I could promise him was that I had a feeling they were just two lost kids.

Jake, I knew for a fact that I had met before. He said that there was a similarity between the Quileute boys, and I knew this to be true, but I was sure I had met him before. I couldn't explain it, but it was intuition. Jake happened to be a better liar than Vanessa, but not by much. Maybe it was the internal lie detector that I had gained from motherhood but I knew when I was being had, and the two of them were lying about who they were. I didn't doubt them when they said that they weren't here because of trouble with the authorities, and if they were con artists, I would be cleaned out by now but they've never touched a thing. They had their own money, bought their own things, and even pitched in on bills and bought groceries. I didn't know what they were hiding but I knew that whatever it was involved Bella in some way, of that I was sure.

I finished up making lunch and was about to call them in to eat when I heard Vanessa talking to someone on the phone. Not wanting to interrupt her, I went on about cleaning up the kitchen, until I heard her speak.

"Things are fine, Dad," she said as she began walking to her room. "School is perfect, life at Grandma's house is perfect, she and Phil couldn't be nicer, and Jake and I are…perfect."

_Grandma…surely she wasn't talking about me! But she had also said, "She and Phil couldn't be nicer." How on Earth could I be her grandmother? Surely she was just referring to something else, or someone else as her Grandmother. Bella is too young to have given birth to a sixteen year old. The years didn't add up no matter how I tried to work it. _

I went into the living room, still able to hear her conversation because she hadn't closed the door. She talked of things that I couldn't understand, but I could take in enough to know that she and Jake were having a problem. I listened intently, trying to get any inclination as to what she meant when she said Grandma. The only thing that I couldn't mistake was what she had said in closing.

"Love you too, Dad. Give everyone my love, especially Grandpa Charlie. I know he misses me a lot."

My mind was reeling and my heart was pounding. Charlie was in on this, he knew this girl, and she had called him _Grandpa_ Charlie, which meant that somehow Bella was this child's mother and Charlie and I were her Grandparents. The dad that she was speaking to…Edward? It would fit perfectly. It made perfect sense that he would be her father. I saw so much of him in her too. Her features belonged to Edward, her grace and stunning beauty reminded me of them – the Cullens. Bella was pale, but the Cullens were ghost white, and so was Vanessa. I thought back to what she had said upon first meeting me.

_"We've known her for a very long time. You know her; we have to be very special people for her to go to such lengths to keep us safe. Believe me when I say that she loves me dearly, and I love her just as much."_

_Could it really be that Bella and Edward are her parents and Charlie and I are her grandparents? But how could that be possible? _I thought.

**Nessie's POV**

After talking to Dad, I felt a bit better just having someone to talk to about the things that I couldn't share with the humans here. My stomach started to growl and I realized that I hadn't eaten lunch. I knew that Renee had prepared lunch for us, but I was too upset at the time to eat. I walked into the living room to find her sitting and staring blankly at the TV screen, which was turned off.

When I entered the room she looked up at me. "I'm your grandmother?" It was in the form of a question, but it was more of a statement. "How is that possible?"

I frowned, wondering how she had come to this conclusion. I must have been easy to read because before I could say anything, she said, "I overheard your conversation with your dad, which I assume is Edward?"

I didn't know what to say at first. I knew that there was no way I could lie to her at this point. How could I possibly make up any lie after she had overheard my conversation? Why had I been so stupid as to talk in a normal tone? I took a deep breath and decided to tell her the only truth that I could tell her.

"Renee, I'm not going to lie to you anymore. I am your granddaughter, meaning Bella is my mother and Edward is my father. I know you want to know how this is possible, but the world isn't as black and white as it seems. For your safety, I can't tell you the truth, but I can tell you what you need to accept as the truth. It's the same story that Charlie knows. He agreed to be on a need to know basis, and we tell him only what he needs to know. Can you agree to this?" I asked, hoping she didn't pursue it more than what I have to say.

She hesitated, so I continued, "If you can't, I have to leave. I don't know where I would go because I can't go home, but I would disappear, Renee…Grandma, and I don't want to do that. I want to get to know you like I got to know Charlie," I pleaded.

"I can agree to be on a need to know basis," she finally agreed.

"This is what you need to know. Edward and Bella had to adopt me soon after they got married. One of his distant relatives died, and he was the only living next of kin the authorities could find to take me in. I was too young to remember my birth parents, so Edward and Bella are the only parents I've ever known." I had given her the story that I had been rehearsing practically my whole life. It was my back story, in case a suspicious human in Forks discovered me and started asking questions.

She was silent for a moment, appearing to ponder over something. "You're name's not really Vanessa, is it?" she asked.

I shook my head no, unsure if I should tell her what it really was. But after all what harm would it do if she knew my real first name? "It's Renesmee," I told her. "A combination of Renee and Esme."

A smile touched her face when she heard this. "Renesmee," she said as she stood to hug me. "My granddaughter." She embraced me tightly.

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><p>A few days passed and Renee and I grew closer, making sure to catch up on some lost time. I told her stories about my childhood and my relationship with Jake. She in turn shared about Mom's childhood in Arizona and her relationship with Phil. It felt as if this was the way it was supposed to be with us. Maybe being sent here was a blessing all along rather than a curse. Getting to know my grandmother was definitely something I had always wanted, but had discounted as never going to happen due to all the secrets surrounding my existence.<p>

Jake and I seemed to patch things up, deciding to just forget about the call from Leah, and move on with our lives in Florida. We talked about it, even talked about home, somewhat, but it was always in a detached manner. It was as if you were talking about the past, but hadn't experienced it first hand, so there was no emotional attachment.

On our way from school one day I asked, "Are you phasing to check in on Leah when we get home? Did you guys work out a schedule?" I didn't sound interested, just conversational, as I always did about home now.

"Yeah, her patrols were normally when I was sleeping, but she said she'd make it a point to phase during the day after I get out of school to update me," he answered plainly.

I just nodded as we pulled into the driveway. When we got out of the car, he opened the door for me, and I wrapped my arms around him touching my lips to his. "I'll see you inside."

I went straight to my room, taking out my Ipod and listening to some music to relax. Today hadn't been bad, just the wear and tear of having best friends that were in love and didn't want to own up to it or fix the problem was very trying to handle. I heard my phone ringing just as my eyes started to droop closed.

The screen displayed that my mom was calling. "Hi, Mom," I said when I flipped the phone open.

"Hi, honey. How was school today?" she asked, but her tone didn't seem like she was interested in school.

"It was the same. What's up, Mom?" Wanting to quickly get to the source of why she called instead of the beat around the bush way that she began the conversation.

"Your dad and I have been talking, along with the rest of the family and the pack." She paused. I wasn't sure what was to come next but I had a feeling that it wasn't going to be something I would like. "We've agreed that you can home!" She all but screamed excitedly.

"Wow," my voice sounded anything but excited. "That…that's great, Mom." I felt sick; the queasy feeling was vastly approaching.

Mom picked up on my tone immediately. "Didn't you hear what I said, Renesmee? I said that you could come home," she repeated.

I really wished that she would stop repeating it. "Yea…I…I heard you. That's wonderful news. I guess I'll see you soon." I hung up the phone before she could say anything else.

Sitting up in bed, I ran my hands through my hair, sighing heavily. This had been what I wanted months ago. Going home was what I had been begging for, but things had drastically changed. I wasn't the same person I used to be. I was Vanessa now, not Renesmee. I lived with humans, interacted with humans, and had human friends. If I went back, I would have to sever all ties with the human world, minus Charlie and the Quileutes. If I returned to Forks, I would be faced with the one thing I had been hiding from all along. I would have to see the aftermath of the battle I had caused. I would have to look into the disappointed faces of my family because I was the reason that three close friends of the family were dead. My body started to shake at just the thought of their unhappy faces. I rushed to the bathroom, feeling the need to throw up. The disappointment, the pain, the punctures in my heart at the loss all came to the forefront of my mind for a moment. I couldn't deal; I couldn't take living the life of Renesmee anymore. I couldn't go back home.

After I had washed my mouth out and brushed my teeth, I took a shower to wash away the old life and clear my mind. When I got out I started cooking dinner. Renee was chattering away about a new novel she was reading as Jake burst through the door.

"Nessie, we can go home!" he yelled excitedly. He crossed the kitchen in four strides, picking me up and twirling me around. "Baby, we can finally go home!"

When he put me back on the floor, I smiled up at him too, but it didn't reach my eyes. "I know! Mom told me," I said with fake enthusiasm.

"Oh that's wonderful! You two go ahead and pack. I'll make dinner tonight," Renee joined in the celebrating.

Jake all but ran to the room with me in tow. It wasn't until he stopped moving that he realized that I wasn't as excited as he was. "Aren't you ready to see your family?" he asked.

Guilt resonated through me as I looked into his eyes. I didn't answer his question. Instead I gave a sad smile and said, "I love you, Jacob."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and crushed my lips to his, searing him with a kiss. Jake picked me up, and I wrapped my legs around him. He was clinging to me tightly and my heart felt like it would burst. Tears spilled from my eyes as we kissed, which turned our kiss more frantic. I began tugging at his shirt and he put me on my feet and pulled it over his head. He took mine off as well, returning his lips to mine. Jacob's hands roamed over the exposed skin of my back, unsnapping my bra, sliding the straps down my shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. He placed soft kisses on both my shoulders before picking me up as his lips made contact with my breasts. Jake gently placed me on the bed, and he took off the jeans and pants that I had been wearing. For a moment, he stood looking at me, as if memorizing every contour of my body. His hands began to move over my body, gently caressing my cheek, flowing down past the hallow behind my ear, and then reaching my neck. He stared intently as his hands warranted shivers from me. Jake continued his trail from my neck, to my shoulders, taking a moment knead my breasts slowly, before lightly trailing down my stomach. Both of his hands moved down my thighs slowly. I watched Jake as intensely as he watched me, wanting to remember everything about this moment. His lips took the same path up that his hands had taken down. My body already tingling from his touch, now burned with need for him. Our lips collided as I ran my hands over Jake's body in turn. I wanted to remember everything about it. My hand roamed from his broad shoulders, strong, muscular arms, to his perfectly chiseled chest and abs. I then unbuckled his belt, taking off his jeans and boxers as I went along.

Jake's eyes bore into my wet, tear filled ones with such passionate intensity that I wouldn't dare look away. He touched his forehead to mine and I knew that in some part of his mind he knew that this was goodbye. Even with no words of confirmation, he could feel it. Words failed me at that moment. I couldn't speak. _I love you_, I thought to him. He gave no indication that he had heard me, he just touched his lips to mine and I felt his pain, his love, and his heart in that kiss.

He entered me slowly, filling me completely, not just physically but emotionally as well. In this instance, my heart was full. Full of love for Jacob. We moved slowly like the rhythmic melody of a ballad. Our eyes never left each other's as we made love. Our lips were plastered together, only breaking free for air, and in those moments of separation there were cries of pain permeating the room both from me and Jake. When we neared our climax I could feel hot tears falling from his cheeks and onto my skin. It felt as if they were burning me.

Jacob and I showered together when we finished making love. Again we made love, this time more frenzied and frantic than before. When we were done, we dressed in silence.

He made his way to our room, gathering our suitcases. He sat mine on the bed, open and empty beside his. My heart was breaking. Jacob was giving me the chance to change my mind as he began packing his things. Tears fell more rapidly as my heart crumbled.

_I can't,_ I thought as I stood watching him pack. _Going back…it hurts. The past hurts._

"I'll stay here with you," he whispered.

_Your pack needs you, your dad needs you, and soon your tribe will need you to lead._

"You need me too," he stated.

_Ephraim Black's great grandson wouldn't turn his back on his people._

"I need you more than they need me," he argued. "Don't…" his voice broke. "Don't do this."

_I can't go and you can't stay._

"I'm begging…"

My thoughts would betray me if I didn't start speaking. I found my voice then. "You have to do what makes me happy, right?" A sob crept up my throat, choking me. "I want you to leave," I managed to strangle out through my sobs and tears.

Jake stood looking at me for a moment; I looked down at my feet. "Please," I whispered to the floor.

A few seconds later, he walked from the room, leaving everything. I heard the front door close as he left. _I love you,_ I thought, knowing that he heard me. I sank to the floor then, feeling the pain of separation grow in magnitude. The pain was crushing and my breath came in gasps, my heart was being torn from my chest it felt. I felt like my chest was being crushed when I heard the most bloodcurdling, pain filled wolf's howl I'd ever heard. It sounded like he was dying, and at that moment I felt his pain too. It was agonizing, but I would suffer through it, just so that Jake could be where he belonged. With his pack is where he belonged, not here with me dragging him down.

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><p><strong>Thanks so much for reading. Please don't hate me for this! I really would like to know what you think, but I'm hoping that the cries of outrage arent too bad. Please hit that review button because I'd love to hear from you.<strong>


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 28: Here Comes Goodbye<strong>

**Jacob's POV**

I knew that something was off about her reaction to going home when I came in the door. With the news, I expected that she would've ran to me, jumped into my arms, a joyful laugh coming from her as we ran to the room to pack. She pretended to be happy in front of Renee, but when we got to our room, she was a completely different person. The confident air about her had receded; Nessie seemed small and feeble as she looked at me. Something heavy had been weighing on her for days, I could tell, but today her happy façade had finally crumbled.

When she kissed me, I could feel her pain and taste the salty tears that fell from her eyes. I clung to her tightly as she wrapped her arms and legs around me. I never wanted to let her go, but I knew that this would be the last time that I made love to her…this would be goodbye. I gave her a second chance to change her mind, and though she had never said the words, I could feel that this was it for us. Her suitcase sat on the bed, open and empty – just as I had felt in that moment. She was slipping away from me, growing more distant though she was standing in the room with me. Our pull was slackening as she made her decision final with her words.

Asking me to leave, felt like a stab to the heart with a rusty sword. That in itself was enough to almost kill me; it infected my heart, making me immobile with pain. I stood there looking at her, and now standing before me was a broken girl that even I didn't know how to fix. I did what I never thought I would be able to do. I walked away, slamming the front door on the way out. With that click of the front door, my heart shut down and disappeared into nothingness. All the strings keeping us tied to one another had been clipped, leaving only a thin thread holding us together. Her thoughts entered my head then. _I love you,_ was her final goodbye. That was enough to send me into my wolf form without even trying, leaving my suitcase full of clothes behind.

All that I could hear as I ran at a furious pace away from her - everything that I loved - was, _"You have to do what makes me happy, right?"Her tiny body shook, and a sob racked through her. Her instincts were fighting what her head had been telling her was best, but she soldiered on. "I want you to leave." I stood there, not completely understanding. Walking away was never a characteristic of mine, but imprinting made me equipped to give her what she wanted. "Please," she had asked. I took one fleeting look at her before I walked away._ I had never felt more pain than I had in that moment. Whoever said that phasing made everything better completely lied. Phasing didn't numb me to the pain of rejection; it didn't help me understand why I wasn't by Renesmee's side anymore. I still could feel the excruciating agony of my heart being ripped from my chest with her words, and it was like watching her stomp on it when I realized that she didn't want me to stay with her. No, turning into a wolf didn't ease the ache that crept over my entire body as I ran. I doubted if anything would.

Everything had changed in the matter of minutes, literally. Our relationship went from good to gone, so quickly that my mind barely had time to register it but my body had no problem projecting the agony. This was pure, undiluted pain. I was so sure that Renesmee and I would have a life together. I had pictured our wedding when all of this Volturi shit had been dealt with. I could picture her walking toward me with Edward by her side to give her away. The smile on her face enough to bring me to tears at how lucky and loved I would be, but that fantasy was now a dream of what would never be.

I ran for hours – maybe even days – before I noticed any of the minds that periodically popped in and out, no doubt patrolling.

_Oh, Jake…I'm sorry, _she had thought.

_I don't need your sympathy, Rasika._ Wait…Rasika was in my head? She was a member of Sam's pack, and also Sam's half sister! What was she doing in my head?

_You're probably wondering how I'm here? I guess you were busy concentrating on other things when the fight happened. I…I…_ She hesitated, not wanting to say what I just saw flicker through her mind. She had imprinted on one of the Volturi members. Her imprint was one of Nema's sisters, and she was dangerous. Rasika broke away from her pack and joined mine because Sam had ordered her not to pursue this girl.

_How is it possible to imprint on the same sex when imprinting is to make stronger wolves?_ I asked, glad to have something occupying my mind besides Renesmee.

_Maybe imprinting wasn't just about making stronger wolves. Maybe it was about soul mates after all. The love of another and finding your better half could be the reason for it._

I scoffed at this.

_I don't think that's possible. Love doesn't really exist for me,_ I admitted, panting as if the air had been knocked out of me. _It didn't exist with Bella, and what do you know, her daughter didn't want me either. Be careful, they aren't as bound to you as you think. They can opt out of it if they want, but you can't, you're stuck loving what you can't have anymore._

_I'm sorry, Jake. I'll give you some time to yourself. I can see that you're almost home_, Rasika told me.

Home. What did that mean to me now? Wherever Renesmee was had been home to me. Sure, I had missed my friends and family while I was in Florida, but I never imagined leaving without her. That one lie about talking to Leah had cost me everything. She had misunderstood my mood. I wasn't just missing my pack, I was truly missing Nessie. She changed to the point of no return in Jacksonville. After she found out that her friends had gotten killed, she experienced an emotional break between the past and present. Renesmee didn't want to be who she was, and I knew then that she didn't want me either. As much as I tried, the truth was as soon as we stepped off the plane, our relationship was doomed. I was a monster and she was on a quest to be human. A wolf wouldn't fit into her world of normalcy because I was a constant reminder of the past.

As I neared Forks, I didn't run to my home in La Push. Instead, I ran to the home of the Cullens, feeling the need to explain why their daughter wasn't with me. Nearing the edge of their property, I came face to face with the waiting eyes of her mother and father. Bella's own, filled with despair as Edward concentrated on reading my thoughts.

"Jake," she said almost breathlessly. "Where is she?"

I shook my head at her, howling out with despair of my own. _She's not coming back. Renesmee can't take the world of supernatural anymore. She didn't want it and she didn't want…me, _I told Edward.

I could tell my thoughts had hurt him as well, but it was true. I showed him every occurrence that gave me the indication that she was on a quest for humanity. Every argument we got into revolved mostly around her not being the girlfriend I deserve. Much to my own disappointment, I let my mind slip to the last words of goodbye we shared. It hurt like hell to relive again. Edward's face had changed into one of sympathy as well. Even if he didn't want to admit it, he knew how much I loved his daughter.

"What is it, Edward? I want to know why our daughter isn't here!" Bella demanded.

"Because she can't live in the supernatural. From what Jacob has shown me, she can't take facing the past and what happened," he told her, and Bella too looked like she had taken a blow to the heart as he said this. I could imagine she had. Her daughter didn't want to be who she was, which in turn meant she didn't like who her parents were either.

"I'm so sorry, Jacob," Bella offered. "I'm going to try my best to talk some sense into her." I gave a nod and ran in the direction of my home.

Though I didn't think it in front of Bella and Edward, I seriously doubted if Renesmee would answer their calls. When I reached my house, I went straight to the Rabbit, phased, and grabbed an extra set of clothes I stashed there. I dressed, and instead of dealing with the questions I knew my dad would have, I stayed in the garage the entire night. Traces of her scent were still all around the garage. It was faint but still ever present in my mind. I painfully noticed that the garage was exactly as we had left it the night before the fight had occurred. Feeling suddenly exhausted and floored with heartache, I crashed on the couch, her scent more potent here than anywhere else in the garage. Call me a masochist but this is where I would be spending most of my time. This is where our love began, flourished, and matured.

As I lay there, thinking of nothing but her, I was filled with questions. _What happens to a wolf without his imprint? Would I continue to fall into the nothingness that I felt at this moment? Did I make the right decision in walking away? The saying is if you love something let it go, but would she ever come back to me? And did I want her to?_

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><p><strong>Thanks so much for reading. Please don't hate me for this! I really would like to know what you think, but I'm hoping that the cries of outrage arent too bad. Please hit that review button because I'd love to hear from you.<strong>


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter 29: Is this the end?**

**Renesmee's POV**

I was sitting on the floor at Mya's house in a dazed state, staring blankly at the television screen. She was waving a hand in front of me and handing me a bowl of popcorn for me and -_what's his name_ - Jace to share. Mya and Dylan had lured me here under the pretenses of hanging out. When I got here, I found that it was all a setup. This was a stupid blind date thing. I pretended to stare at the screen. _They_ were watching _Dear John_, but I on the other hand was watching the wall.

Dylan and Mya had finally owned up to their feelings for each other while they were trying to fix my broken – not just my heart – soul. I was broken to the core and I had no one to blame but myself. It was funny, or more ironic, that Dylan and Mya found each other again while trying to mend the part of me that was so lost, so broken, so overwrought with pain that I could barely function on a daily basis. But I didn't quit living; I didn't turn into a shell of a person or a zombie. I dealt with the pain, knowing that it would never turn into a dull ache. With all the pain that I had endured in such a short period of time, I became numb to any emotion other than sadness. It crept up on me occasionally, but at least I had finally managed to stop crying. My nights would be filled with tears. During the day, I put on my best poker face, but at night the façade faded away and the dam of emotions broke down. Finally, the tears had faded one night and I couldn't cry anymore.

"Vanessa, is everything okay?" Jace's gravelly voice rattled, snapping me out of my daze.

"Yeah, I'm great." I handed him the popcorn and stood. "I just need some more water."

"I'll come with you," he offered.

"No!" I said a little too forcefully. "Stay…sit. I know where it is." I tried to smooth it over.

I walked into the kitchen and I knew that Amya was following me. I placed both of my hands on the counter, gazing down at my empty glass. That was what I was now, an empty glass.

"Vanessa, what is it?" Mya's face scrunched with worry and contemplation.

"Nothing. I just needed some air. I felt like the room was closing in on me, or maybe I felt like Jace was closing in on me…I don't know."

"He didn't try anything, did he? What happened?"

"No, nothing like that. I just…" I let the sentence hang because truthfully I didn't know what I was trying to say.

"What's wrong with Jacen? Don't you like him at all?"

I sighed. "Mya, he's not my type."

"Oh, really?"

"Really. His hair is long and light brown, his eyes are deep blue, and he's too pale." _His temperature always resides around 98.4, he's fragile, his voice is gravelly, he's always serious, he has wiry muscles, and he's not very tall._ I kept my thoughts to myself, but I stated the obvious to her.

"What is your type then, V, do tell."

"Short black hair, dark brown eyes, muscular, at least tanned if not naturally darker skin toned. He just –"

"Isn't Jake," Mya finished my sentence, though I was going to say "he just isn't my type". "He never will be Jake, no one can. Give the guy a chance."

"I'm not ready. It's too soon…I can't." I always went on the defense when they tried to push someone on me.

"It's been months, Vanessa. It's not like he broke up with you. You decided that he wasn't what you wanted." _Is that what it seemed like to other people? They think I sent him away because I didn't want him. Is that what Jacob thinks too?_

"It's not like that. You…you don't understand. There was so much more to it than that."

"I've been trying to understand. You haven't told me anything about what happened. I want to help. You said that he didn't break up with you and that it was you that told him to leave, but I've been missing why. What has you so broken if this wasn't really what you wanted?"

She was genuinely concerned about me, and she wanted to help, but could I tell her the truth? Could she bear the burden of my secret that wasn't completely mine to share? Amya was only human, she didn't have to worry of the horrors of the night like vampires, werewolves, and freak of nature mixes of human and vampire. Life got complicated with the confirmation of nightmares come true. If she leaked her knowledge to the wrong person, she could be killed. I couldn't sentence her to a life of secrecy, or burden her with my heavy truth.

"The movie is almost over, we don't want to keep Dylan and Jacen waiting," I said without giving her an answer.

Amya didn't pursue it any further. She just followed me back into the living room. We came back in just in time for the last scene of the movie. I had missed the movie, but it didn't matter. I had already read the book, and the last page had suddenly struck a chord that it had not before. For the first time, I could identify with John instead of Savannah. _I _was John! I was doing what John had done. I was doing what my Dad had done. They both had made decisions for their significant other, and so had I.

Suddenly, I felt sick. I didn't want to watch another movie, or be around people when I had made the biggest mistake of my existence. I stood as the credits rolled, and I allowed Jace to walk me to my car. The smoldering heat outside was making the air thick and uncomfortable. It added to the sense of wrongness that was creeping over me. I felt like a fish out of water in this instance. This was the wrong weather, Jace was the wrong guy opening my door for me, and sadness was the wrong feeling.

I drove down the familiar roads, but even they felt different. It was as if everything I passed was screaming out at me. _This isn't where you need to be; this isn't your home, _is what the humid wind insisted. When I got back, even Renee's house felt strangely out of place to me. I opened the door to find Renee and Phil's smiling faces yelling "happy birthday". I frowned.

_Today was my birthday?_

"Bella called. She said she couldn't get you on your cell, but she didn't want you to go without knowing that they care. She wanted to wish you a happy birthday herself, so she left a message on your phone." Renee was smiling brightly, genuinely happy that she got to share this birthday with me. She hugged me tight and led me to the kitchen.

The first thing I noticed in the kitchen was the candles dancing on a triple chocolate cake. "Happy Birthday Ness" was written in blue on top. There were three places set at the table, and in the center of it were presents wrapped in shiny blue wrapping paper. There was a big banner strung along the kitchen that gave me birthday wishes as well. Phil was finishing up dinner at the stove as I walked in.

"You guys didn't have to do this, really," I told them, taken aback by the fact that people who were complete strangers to me almost a year ago, now knew they were my grandparents and were celebrating my day of birth with me.

"What are you talking about, Ness? We wouldn't dare miss celebrating this day with you," Phil said.

We ate dinner and I opened the presents that Renee and Phil had gotten me. After spending quality time with them, I retired to my room. I looked at my phone as I sat in bed. It was funny how that little thing could be so intimidating. I ran my fingers through my hair – a nervous habit I had picked up from Dad – and I picked up the phone. It wouldn't be so hard to just listen to the messages had I not cut all ties with my family and friends when Jake left. I didn't answer their calls anymore, I didn't respond to their text messages, or initiate any calls or texts to them. I knew that I had hurt them, but I needed time to get myself together without them telling me what I needed.

My phone seemed to be on an endless buzz with text messages when I turned it on. They were all from pack members, wishing me a happy birthday. After reading them all, I dialed my voicemail. The automated system told me that I had four new messages.

I knew that this day held so much more significance than just being my birthday. So many things happened on this day. My mother's human life had ended and she was turned by my father on this day. This was also the day that…Jacob had imprinted on me. I pushed the thought aside, not wanting to dwell on it until after I'd listened to the messages.

The first one played through. "Hey, Nessie, it's Claire. I know that you're having a hard time, and me calling will just end up reminding you of…things. I just want to say that I hope you have a good birthday, and when you come home – because I know you will no matter what _they_ think – we're going to have a double birthday party. I miss you," Claire ended the message. I had missed Claire's birthday. It was a few weeks before mine.

The second message started and at first they weren't talking to me, Nema and Seth were talking to each other. "Seth, it just beeped. Why aren't you saying anything?" Nema asked.

"I don't know what to say."

"Okay, take your time then. I'll start." She paused. "Ness, I hope today is filled with happiness and smiles. I love you and miss you more than you can know. You were my first and best friend."

I heard the air whoosh as the phone switched hands. "Ness," Seth's voice rang into the phone. I couldn't help the smile that came across my face at hearing my best friend's voice. "Normally I would lecture you, but not today. Though I can't see it, I know you're smiling because you miss me, don't you? I know you do. I miss you too. I really wish you were here so that we could celebrate this special day with you. I love you and wish that you could see just how much we all love you. Come home soon."

I was still smiling as the next message came on. "Happy Birthday, Nessie!" I heard my whole family say into the phone. It instantly brought tears to my eyes and an even wider smile to my face. "Sweetheart, it's Dad. I want you to know that I'm proud of you, and I know that you've made the choices you've made for a reason. I won't pressure you to come home. I just want you to do what makes you happy."

"My baby girl," my mom cooed into the phone as if I was still a baby. "I love you and I hope you're doing well with Mom and Phil. I wish you were home, but I know that you're just like your dad…and me. You'll figure things out soon. We miss you."

The phone switched hands and for some reason, I knew who would come next. "Nessie, I miss you so so much!" Aunt Alice's voice sing-songed through the earpiece. "Could you believe that I haven't been shopping in months? I've missed you so much that not even a trip to the mall could cheer me up! _Please_ come home soon. I love you."

Distantly, I heard Uncle Emmett say, "Let me talk to her!"

Uncle Jasper disagreed, "No, I'm speaking to her next!"

I heard a crash and Aunt Rose laughed into the phone. "Your Uncles are fighting over who talks to you next. I'll make this quick, Alice says the message is about to cut us off. I really miss you. You should come back to us because celebrating your birthday without you here is kind of difficult. Em and Jas say they miss you, and Carlisle and Esme send their love as well."

I was a mixture of laughs and tears at the end of that message, but when the next message played, my laughing abruptly stopped. "You probably don't want to hear from me, and to be honest, I don't know why I'm calling." I didn't know why Jake had decided to call either after what I'd done to him, but I didn't care. I just wanted to hear his voice. "It just felt right to call - maybe you'll get this message or maybe you won't. Just because we aren't…it doesn't mean that I forgot your birthday…or the other reason why this day is important. I…We…it's…" He sighed, seeming to be wrestling with some emotion and my heart sank. "The truth is no matter how much I try, I can't just forget you." He sounded defeated as he admitted this, and then the automated system came on telling me which numbers to press for which option.

The well that I thought had run dry with tears had completely burst with a fresh set. I wasn't crying the happy tears that I had throughout the course of the messages. No, these were sobs for them, for how I had messed up their lives and caused them so much pain because I was selfishly only thinking about my pain. Jake's message struck a chord that none of the rest had. Unlike theirs, his message didn't hold a loving, endearing tone. His voice had been strangled and full of frustration. He hadn't said anything about missing me or loving me, oddly enough, he hadn't even said the words happy birthday in his message. I had hurt him, I could tell, but I loved him so deeply that my heart ceased its beating all together when I heard his voice. It didn't matter what he was saying, the fact that he called was enough.

The phone was still pressed to my ear though the voicemail had long since ended. It would only take the press of a button to speed dial his number. I loved him more than anything, and I knew that I had made so many mistakes in the course of our relationship but with him is where I needed to be. I just didn't know if he would be as accepting when I arrived. Only one question resided in my mind as I clutched the phone in my hand. _Does he still love me?_

Forgetting I had ever asked myself that question, I ran my hand over the flat keys of my cell phone, stopping at the number two – Jake's speed dial number. Pressing the phone to my ear, I gathered my thoughts as it rang, giving in to the apprehension and wondering exactly what I would say when he answered.

**So this is the last chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. If you liked this one, or are curious about what happened to Jake/Ness, Seth/Nema, Quil/Claire, who that Rasika character that was introduced a few chapters back was, or what's been going on with the Cullens after the fight, there is a sequel! It is even steamier, with more angst and more fluff than WLA! It's called Life Interrupted. Be on the lookout for it within the next couple of days :)**


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Chapter 30: Battle Recap**

**This chapter's purpose is to back track and fill you in on the missing pieces of the battle and get you familiar with the new characters of Life Interrupted. I hope you enjoy a snippet of the battle. **

**Back to the Battle**

**Nessie's POV**

_The Volturi stopped in their tracks, their faces portraying shock and confusion. Their heads whipped wildly around in every direction, not focusing on one particular thing, as their hands went out in front of them as if they were feeling their way to their destination. _

_Dad turned to Mom. "Zafrina has blinded them," he said in an urgent voice. _

_Mom took a bag that she had been hiding in her jacket pocket and handed it to me. "Go, Renesmee. Now! Jake, keep her safe." _

_No! I yelled in my thoughts._

_I stood there looking from one to the other. They wanted me to leave while they stayed and fought. They wanted me to live while they died. I couldn't condone it, and I would not leave my family and friends to die. All of them were fighting because of me._

"_Go now!" Dad whispered fiercely into my ear._

_When I still didn't move, Jacob nudged me with his nose. I sighed in defeat and got on his back and we ran. We ran from the death sentence that hung over our heads, freeing ourselves from the battle at hand while everyone else stayed to fight._

**Jacob's POV**

_Through the others' eyes, I could see smoke and piles of ash. There was a sadness associated with the image that I couldn't understand, but it all came together within seconds. The smoking stacks weren't ash, they were vampires. At the realization, air whooshed out of my lungs painfully. _

_Who? I thought to no one in particular._

_Zafrina, Senna, and Ben, Embry answered somberly._

_A whine escaped me at the news. This would devastate my angel. Over the years Zafrina and Senna had become extended aunts to her and Ben was like a big brother._

_How did this happen?_

_Zafrina could only keep them blinded long enough for you two to escape. Once her powers faltered, the Volturi attacked. We were all busy fighting, so we didn't know that the odds weren't in Zafrina's favor as she was being cornered by more than one of them. Senna realized what was happening first and she tried to even the odds, but she wasn't the strongest fighter and by the time any of us realized that they needed help, they were being dismembered and burned._

_A lump was forming in my throat as I saw the events occurring in Embry's thoughts as he recanted the tragedy. I didn't even want to know how Ben was murdered, but his thoughts had taken that turn on their own accord. I was seeing Carlisle fighting Caius, but Alec was sneaking up behind him. I wanted to yell out to Carlisle to move out of the way, but I knew it would do no good. All of a sudden, Ben sprang into the space between them, but he was defenseless against the black mist that had rendered him senseless. Embry wanted to help him but Jane was keeping him and Leah busy._

**Antonia's POV**

I leapt at the Cullens not really expecting to do any damage. I just wanted to take out the Amazon so the rest of my family could get away. Nema jumped out and cut me off. I couldn't avoid her and she rammed right into me. I could hear the Volturi's thoughts in the background. Their vision was coming back into focus. It was all the opportunity I needed. Nema and I started to circle and dance around each other. I decided that no matter what side Nema was on she needed to be safe.

_Nema, listen to me. You have to leave. Take your wolf and go. This is going to get really ugly really quick, _I warned her.

_I can't leave. Seth will never leave his brothers, and I can't leave him, _she told me honestly.

_Okay, I tried. I hope you and Seth make it. _I turned and ran toward the Amazon I had originally targeted. She and her sister were giving Hunter and the others a run for their money. I flew into the center of the circle and ripped the Amazon's head off. I heard the other Amazon scream before being silenced by the others.

_Hunter_ _take the others and Demetri and leave. No one will notice, because the fighting is too bad. _I needed my family to survive.

_Antonia, what about you? _She was always questioning me. I wasn't that self-sacrificial. I was coming, too.

_I'll meet you I have to get Chelsea and make sure she gets out in time. This whole fight is already falling to shit, _I thought behind me. I couldn't leave my best friend. I ran towards her. She was being ganged up on by three female vampires. I noted the huge wolf lying on the ground behind them. It was odd, but I assumed it was hurt. In the two seconds it took me to cross the field I saw the Spanish vampire rip Chelsea's head from her body and toss it in the nearest pyre. It was over. I was too late, and I was mad. I felt the push against my mind as I mentally threw both of the other two into the trees behind us. I was going to kill that bitch. The great white wolf whined and growled from the ground, but didn't move to get up.

I crouched low and circled the other vampire. She did the same for me. I was glad for it, she wouldn't hold back. "You don't stand a chance, slut!" she hissed at me.

"I'm going to rip you apart for what you've done, Punta!" I snarled. I would burn her for what she did to Chelsea. I prepared to spring when the wolf lying on the ground jumped in between us.

_Rester loin de' elle. Elle este a moi! _I couldn't believe her thoughts. She had told the other vampire to get away from me, yes, but she had told her that I was hers. I assumed I was her kill, but when the Denali, Carmen, walked away I had to make sure.

_What do you mean 'I'm yours'?_

**Leah's POV **

At this point the fighting had begun and Jake had gone to the back of my mind as I led the pack in the war against the Volturi. The fight was anything but cut and dry. There was way more going on here than in a normal fight. So many mental battles were being played out here. The battle went on for a while and I picked up on something that seemed out of place in my head. There was another person now present in my mind, a female. Rasika, a member of Sam's pack and also his half sister, had broken free of Sam's pack and joined Jake's. I could see in her mind her reasoning behind this. These were reasons that I wasn't too pleased with at all. She had imprinted on a member of the Volturi. This girl was trained to kill, and we were trained to kill her. I could tell from this moment on that being acting Alpha brought an extra headache that I wasn't even ready for.

**Antonia's POV (hours after the battle)**

We were getting close to the Cullen home. Rasika thought they might give me a place to stay since I was afraid to test my control and stay around humans. We broke into a clearing that led up to a massive house. I put my game face on. I was going to have to be strong. I was truly sorry I had killed their friend, but that was to protect my sisters. I knew this was not going to end well when Edward Cullen and his brother Emmett ran out of the house snarling.

"What the Hell is she doing here, Rasika?" Emmett Cullen snarled. I dropped my stuff and crouched low in front of Rasika ready to spring for his throat to protect my mate. He kept running toward us and wouldn't slow down. Edward was convinced that someone else was going to die tonight, and I had to agree with him.

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><p><strong>Thanks so much for the reviews (and future reviews) and alerts for the story. I'm glad you enjoyed it! And as always I'd love to hear your thoughts now that the first story is complete.<strong>


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